Page 71 of Lay Me Down
Did that really just come out of his mouth?
I’ve never seen my dad like this, and it’s actually starting to worry me. Angry? Oh, yeah. Sad? Definitely. But this? I’m not sure. He looks to be somewhere between a caged and a scared animal.
I look over at the back porch and through the door to see Emma dancing around the kitchen in her soccer uniform. She’s clearly excited for her game, but if she notices that Dad is upset again, she’ll get sad, too. I turn back to my dad and take a step back, knowing he probably needs the space. As much as it sucks, I need to change the conversation before he gets stuck again. He looks back down at me, and even though his face still looks burdened, I can tell he’s listening.
“Will you teach me how to throw the knives like you do? Just really quick, before we leave?” I ask him softly.
“Damien?” A voice pulls me from my dream. I lift my head to watch Victoria step up to me with a bowl in her hand. “I brought you food.”
“I don’t want it.” My stomach is rumbling and cramping so harshly that I know if I don’t eat something soon, I’ll starve to death. Whatever dog food they put in those bowls almost makes me throw up every time, but it’s the only thing they give me. Even though it’s the vilest thing I’ve ever consumed, I don’t deserve it. Every bit of pain I’m forced to endure, I’ve earned.
“You need to eat something,” she says softly, and it only pisses me off.
“Don’t act like you give a single fuck about what happens to me, Victoria.”
She walks over and sits the bowl on top of DeLuca’s torture table. The tools, half of them with my blood and skin on them, rattle at the force.
“I’m not like them…”
“You keep saying that, yet we’re still here. You haven’t done a damn thing other than watch them torture me or do it yourself.”
She flinches, and then that fire returns to her eyes. Her dark purple orbs move closer to me as she bends down. I’m sure to keep her gaze, daring her to get close enough so I can bash her face with mine.
“Do you know what I’m risking by asking you for help? You don’t have any idea what I’ve done or have dealt with to keep my sister safe! I’m fucking desperate, but we have to do this right, or they’ll kill us both. Then they’ll kill my sister, then your wife, and they sure as hell won’t be lenient. You’ve witnessed what they can do. Do you think it’ll be any different for them? Your pregnant wife? My four-year-old sister? Is that what you want? Or do you want to go home to her?”
What kind of question is that? Of course I want to go home. It’s more than a want—it’s a need. I need to hold my wife and feel her against me. My soul is screaming for hers. The demons have been clawing at every nerve and vein in my body to try and force me back to her.
I want to feel our baby move under her skin. I long to watch her belly ripple and wave from the innocent motions. My wife should be waking me up at two in the morning to fetch her some ridiculous craving, not walking into our base and preparing for battle. We should be staring at paint colors and not blood.
But I also want to see my father.
I yearn to see him hold my child. He would tell me all of the best things a father could do for their kid, even though he’s already shown me through the years. My mother would fawn over my baby, and while my father would roll his eyes or huff in feigned annoyance, he’d be just as wrapped for them as I am.
That’s something I’ll never get to see.
Victoria’s face falls, and she slowly stands to her full height.
“What happened to your dad… It’s not your fault.” She shakes her head like I’m supposed to believe her.
“The hell it isn’t.” I have to look away from her. The regret and guilt I feel is bubbling to the surface, and I don’t need her to see it.
“Listen,” she says softly again. “They arevilepeople—some of the most disgusting people I’ve ever encountered, and I’m sure you can say the same. You are not responsible for their heinous crimes, Damien, and we can stop them. We may not be able to save your dad, but we can still save your wife and my sister. Our families need to be our priority. Their deaths can come at another time.”
She grabs the bucket from the table and brings it over to me.
“Get it together, eat this bullshit they call food, and I’ll get us out of here. We just have to wait a little longer—”
“How much longer?” I ask harshly. She sighs and then picks up the spoon, so she can feed me like the pathetic piece of shit I am.
“I’m working on it.”
Chapter 30
Ashia
Two Days Later
The sun beats down on the park, and even though it’s late September now, there’s a nice breeze in the area. As kids run around to play, I can’t help but watch them. Grease and the MC did a great job with their community barbeque today. The park is decorated nicely, and there seems to be an activity for everyone. There are a few bouncy houses, a few water balloon stations, water slides, and a lot of the local food trucks are donating their meals to the attendees. They even organized a clothing drive to help out families in need. I’ve known that they do this every summer, but I’ve never been able to attend.
