Page 92 of Lay Me Down
“You alright?” Ezra asks hesitantly.
“Oh, yeah. I can just definitely tell I’m halfway through this pregnancy now. It’s terrifying to think about how I’m going to feel in the next ten weeks if I already feel like this.”
“Well, that’s normal, right? That’s a good thing?” He chuckles nervously, and while I’ve missed Damien terribly, I nod anyway. Itisa good thing, and I realize that. We may be having some bumps in the road with my weight and everything, but so far, the baby is healthy. That’s the best thing I can ask for right now in this shitty situation.
“Yeah. It’s a great thing.” I smile at him and pat him on the shoulder before walking out to the car.
My eyes glance over at the Charger. I hate how it’s just sitting there collecting dust. Damien would be so upset if he saw how it looks. I should really take it to the carwash or something, but don’t men usually take better care of their cars than that? Maybe if I get the all-clear today, they’ll let me take it outside and washit. It is the first week of October, and I know the weather is already starting to cool off. So, if I’m going to do anything with it, I should probably do it soon. I make a mental note to ask the doctor and Zeke, then let Daisy in the back seat before I climb into the Equinox.
Ezra sits in the passenger seat and buckles in as I start it. It might be even funnier this time around when the nurse sees me walk in with two men again. At least it’sjusttwo this time, and not four. Zeke promised he would make it to my appointment, which is probably why he came back when he did. It’s crazy how close we’ve gotten over the past few weeks, and now it’s like I can’t imagine a life where I didn’t know my brother. He’s still going through a lot, and I notice him looking at Taylor’s picture sometimes, but he seems too preoccupied with all of this to sulk in his grief.
Maybe that’s better for him. He is the type of person that needs to stay busy. He's opened up a little more about Taylor here and there, but it’s not often. I know he's still hurting, and my heart breaks for him whenever I notice him zoning out, or when he seems a little more irritable. He's avoiding how he really feels. I know I need to help him, but how can I when I feel so broken myself?
I grip the gear shift and go to put it in reverse, but Ezra covers my hand with his. Confusion washes over me, and I snap my head towards him. I haven’t even moved the gear shift yet.
“Ezra, I’m not that bad of a—”
“Be quiet.” He shushes me gently and narrows his eyes, like he's trying to focus. “Why does your car sound like that?” I listen intently, and I do notice a weird knocking sound coming from the front of the car. “When’s the last time you got an oil change?”
I shrug.
“It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure if it didn't have oil in it, then it would be making a much louder noise.”
“True,” he admits through small chuckles.
“Can you look at it?”
He makes a ‘psh’ noise, like it’s crazy of me to ask him.
“I wish I knew half of what that shit is,” he says, obviously a little embarrassed despite his continued laughter. “Where do you normally take it?”
“Damien's been doing all of the maintenance on it…” I admit softly, and then I start to scroll through the digital readings on the dash. It says the oil level is normal, and that it has about thirty percent of its life left. So, I don’t automatically think it’s that.
“Oh,” he says sadly. “Well, Grease has that garage. Why don't you see if we can drop it off before your appointment? Maybe he can look at it today.”
Grease did say to call him if I needed anything, and I don’t want to bother Zeke or Alex with anything else. They’ve done so much for us already. The least I can do is get someone else to look at my car. I feel a little awkward calling him for this, but I also don't want to take it to some random shop. It’ll be fine. If anything, maybe I can pay him nicely.
I pull out my phone and call Grease’s contact. It rings a few times, but when he finally answers, I’m shocked by the concern in his voice.
“What's going on, mama? You good?” Grease asks.
“Yeah, I'm okay. My car is making a weird noise, and I don't know where to take it. Do you have any openings at your garage?”
“Well, that depends. When do you need it?”
“I have an appointment with my OB in about half an hour, and I was hoping I could drop it off? Zeke or one of our guys can pick me up and take me anywhere for the next few days. It would just be easier to drop it off before the appointment in case I end up convincing them to take me to the Attic.”
“Ah, alright. Yeah, that’s fine, mama. Bring it on down. We’ve got a spot it can sit in until we get to it.”
“Okay, awesome. Thanks, Grease. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime.” He hangs up, and then I cut the car off before calling Zeke—just to tell him to meet us there instead of the hospital. He argues with me for a minute, of course, but once Ezra voices his opinion, he backs down. Ezra suggests we take the Charger too, that way it gets some time on the road, and he can still make it to his shift at the Attic.
He gets out of the seat and comes around to my side to open the door.
“Come on, Ash. Give me the key fob to this, and you drive D’s car,” he demands softly and holds his hand out. I’m hesitant. I wanted as much as possible to stay the same for when he came home. Granted, it needs to be driven so the battery doesn’t completely die, if it hasn’t already. It just seems like I’m moving forward, like I’m using his things without him and taking advantage of his disappearance. I know he would want me to use it, but once again, everything just feels wrong.
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the Charger? It’s bigger on the inside…” I deter.
