Page 21 of Lay Me Down
He’s actually been quiet today, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It could be because he knows we’re dealing with a lot, and he actually has a conscience, but I’m still not one hundred percent sure about that. We’ve been mostly communicating with Kade, because I don’t get a twitch to my eye when he opens his mouth. Over the past week, I’ve put Satori through the ringer, and he held his own. We’re equally matched in combat, and while we’ve only tested that in sparring matches, Kade’s surveillance videos of him in action only prove his abilities.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, he’s good. Really fucking good, and his men are thoroughly trained. They’re fast learnersand quick to adapt, which in this line of work is practically a necessity. After we took the mercenaries in a couple of months ago, the transition of adding others was simple. Mel got them housing fairly quickly, and shockingly, everyone is getting along. There’s less tension than there was before, and it could be because in reality, a lot of us are one in the same.
Sahara may have been a larger organization than we were, but obviously a lot has changed.
“I know we’ve been avoiding the conversation because everything around here has been so crazy, but before this goes any further, I need to know what the hell happened. Why are you all here?” My question is genuine, but it’s also cautious. We don’t need any more trouble than we already have, and I can’t risk Sahara bringing any trouble with them. Their main objective was Dust, but they’re gone now. So, how did they get into this situation in the first place?
“Well, as you know, we were dealing with Dust as well.” Satori finally speaks up. “We thought we finally got them under control. There were less warehouses, less abductions, murders, and overdoses. So, we kept at it, thinking we were finally making a dent in it. But then we got word that Hugo washerenow. It wasn’t long after you and Kade last spoke that we got hit. Hard.”
He actually chokes up some and clears his throat. I wait for him to continue, but he just takes a deep breath in. The thoughts alone clearly haunt him, and while I know this is difficult, I need the answer. My men, my wife, and my child are all more at risk if something were to follow them here, and I need to put them first. I try to give him a minute, though, and let him compose himself before I urge him to continue, but Kade beats me to it.
“They blew up our HQ, and we lost contact with the other branches we had across the country,” Kade continues grimly. “We lost a lot of good men that day, and a lot of our resources. After we got a head count for anyone left, we moved across thestate and went to our secondary location just outside of Spokane. That location wasn’t nearly as fortified or stocked as what we needed to start back up, but we tried for a while. We couldn’t do half of the work we were doing, but we mostly sent small groups at a time back to Seattle to at least stop what we could. Then we heard of Hugo’s death, and Dust slowly disappeared. There’s obviously more crime, but Satori and I discussed teaming up with you until we could get back on our feet. So, we gathered everyone we had left between the deaths and drop-outs, and we headed this way.”
I take a deep breath and glance at Satori as he fidgets in the chair. Images of the warehouse explosion zip through my mind, and it’s almost like my body reacts the same as it did then. My muscles tighten, and they ache faintly, like the ghost of the agony I endured is still buried deep within each fiber. Their ghosts seem to match my own, and as unfortunate as it is, I start to sympathize with Satori. He may be a hateful bastard, but perhaps there are reasons behind it.
“Is there anything or anyone who could’ve followed you here? Anything at all that we should be prepared for?” I ask softly, but seriously.
Kade shakes his head, seemingly sure.
“No. Because we were so inactive the past few weeks, we don’t believe there’s any reason for someone to have trailed us.”
“Okay, good,” I say, leaning back on the couch. “Well, you’ll see in the new files that we’ve divided the men up. Some patrolling the streets, lookouts on the roofs, and doing our general operations for public safety. At some point, everyone is going to have that rotation, but we also have rotations for the Attic and basic operations. A few others and I are still tracking down some problems of our own, so we need your men’s focus to strictly be public safety until we can get back to that spot.”
Kade raises an eyebrow, genuinely confused about what I mean. Satori’s eyes finally meet mine again, and I watch as he focuses on me—like he’s listening harder than he was before.
“Are you talking about the mass poisoning?” Satori asks.
“That’s part of it, yes. The rest is ‘need to know,’” I say seriously, because while my faith in them is slowly developing, I can’t trust them with this yet. Kade? Perhaps, but until I’m absolutely sure, I don’t want their noses in something they don’t understand. Kade will receive what’s just under our highest authorization settings, so Carter and I can still monitor him closely, but his skills don’t need to go to waste. Satori doesn’t need to know any of that because he’s receiving the basic permissions, and I don’t feel like arguing about it now. Satori sits up a little straighter, like he’s going to argue and ask for more details, until the door slowly creaks open.
Ashia comes into view and illuminates the entire space. She takes small steps inside but then pauses in the archway like she’s afraid of disrupting us. That anxiousness from her hasn’t come out in a while, and it worries me. Her face is somehow tense and drooped at the same time, showing her exhaustion and sadness. There are subtle dark circles under her eyes, and her body looks tight, like she’s carrying twice her weight on her shoulders. These past couple of weeks have been hard on everyone, but especially on her. Between the mass attack, Charlie’s and Taylor’s deaths, Emmett’s rough recovery, and now taking care of Zeke—all on top of growing our baby in her womb—everything is starting to take its toll.
“What's wrong, baby?” I immediately drop the paperwork in my hands back onto the table. Her eyes meet mine after a quick assessment of the room, and she shakes her head lightly.
“There’s nothing wrong. I don’t mean to interrupt,” she says softly, and acts like she’s going to step back out, but I immediately shake my head to stop her. Is she backing offbecause she heard Satori at our last meeting? Does she actually think I give a single fuck about what his masochistic ass thinks?
“Ashia.” I call for her in a gentle, yet warning tone—to let her know she’s not going to back down so easily. Her eyes meet mine again, and then her features soften ever so lightly. She knows that no matter what is happening around us, shealwayscomes first. All she would need is to deem this meeting over, and I’d force them to leave.
Instead of answering me, though, she walks deeper into the room and doesn’t stop until she reaches me. I scoot over just enough to welcome her in, and that’s when her need for affection reaches me. It’s clear that she’s not feeling well mentally on top of the physical wariness, and she only makes that more apparent as she sits in my lap. Her arms snake around my torso, and I tuck my arm under to support her as I lean back.
The moment her head rests on my chest and she takes a deep breath, I can feel her relax in my arms—like I’ve somehow provided everything she needed just by existing. The rest of the world fades away as I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me. My entire reason for living rests literally in my hands, and nothing ever feels more right than when she’s right here. She curls up so perfectly, and as my fingers rake through her soft, long locks of hair, she dozes off, clearly feeling the same relief as I do.
I caress her head as I reach for the papers again, then look over them while remaining as quiet as possible. I’ve examined the details of their men dozens of times over the past few days, but I can’t help but assess them again and again. I need to be thorough, especially since they’re going to be around my family. Just when I think Kade and Satori will use this time to do the same, my concentration is broken when I hearsomeoneclearing their throat.
As Ipainfullydirect my attention to theinfuriatingsound, I look at Kade first. He wouldn’t have the audacity to intervene in the moment, but he's looking directly at the one who does. Kade’s eyebrows are raised, and he has a disbelieving look on face, like evenheis surprised Satori would speak right now.
“Do you need a minute?” Satori asks in a tone that I’m sure he meant to portray as genuine, but the annoyance behind it only serves to push my aggression further. “I’m not sure this is a good conversation for a woman in her state.”
That last word, spoken with an exaggerated pronunciation, immediately causes my body temperature to spike. My gaze hardens on him, and I move my shaky hand to her belly before I speak, just to get my point across. I’m sure to lean forward enough to make my dominance clear. Ashia’s confidence and strength are something she continues to struggle with, and I won’t stand for anyone making it harder for her.
“Theonlyperson who has as much influence in Devil’s Hands as me, is my wife. I only hold the reins. She’s in charge here, and is the only authority you should hold above anyone else—including your own. You should hold her deity before God with the grace and patience she’s shown you. She knowseverythingthat we deal with. We don’t do secrets here, and we certainly don’t act like sexist pieces of shit. Keep belittling her presence here, and I'll show you just how little you're worth. Herstateis none of your concern. She ismywife, and she is carryingmybaby. They are fuckingmine. Keep your thoughts to yourself, and if she ever hears the blasphemy you spill from your lips, I’ll cut out your tongue.”
He leans forward as well in a challenging gesture and flattens one hand on the wooden surface between us. His gaze sharpens like knives, the electricity in the room charging to a tipping point. He wants to fight, to appoint himself on a higher pedestal than us, and that won’t be something I stand for, either. He’swalked into our territory and frowned upon everything we’ve said and done, like his way is the only way. It’s as if he thinks that if he doesn’t approve, then the situation is beneath him, and it’s outrageous. It stops today.
“I’m just saying…” he starts again, and I don’t have the self-discipline to control myself. I quickly pull my knife from my sheath and stab down forcefully, landing the blade deep into the tabletop. Ashia doesn’t stir, thankfully, but I find myself tightening my grip around her anyway. I’m assuming I didn’t actually stab him from his lack of reaction, and I’m almost disappointed in myself. My line of sight remains locked on his, and I don’t dare tear it away. He’ll see it as submission, and I’ll never give him that satisfaction.
After a few grueling seconds of tension, he averts his gaze downward and towards the table, and I finally glance down as well. The blade landed in the space between his index and middle fingers, only about half an inch above where they connect. I look back up at him, and he has the audacity to smirk.
“Youdohave good aim,” Satori says, sounding impressed.
