Page 52 of Hold Me Down
“Fuck yeah, you are!” Zeke says happily and crosses his arms, leaning against the side of the truck with cocky posture. “Carter was able to dispatch Graham without anyone else knowing, so he’s on his way to clean up. Looks like you’re back in business, baby,” he cheers, and my smile falls to a snarl.
“Don’t call me that,” I warn him, and then they break out into laughter, obviously joking. My eyes roll on their own before I punch Zeke in the chest, just to drive my point home.
“Damn, D! Alright!” He laughs and rubs his chest in faux pain.
My phone beeps with an app notification, alerting me that an order I had placed is ready. Well, it’s the third notification since this morning, and the seller is asking if I still plan on picking it up. I was hoping to have one of the guys run out for me, but since we’re already out, we might as well grab it.
“Do you think you guys could take me to pick something up?” I start typing a response, knowing it’s unlikely they’ll deny me.
“Sure. What is it?”
I scratch the back of my neck, suddenly feeling timid. I’ve never had a problem telling anyone how I feel about my wife, but this feels more intimate, gushier. I’ve been so picky about what I’ve said and bought for the baby, not really letting anyone else in our happy place. I was afraid they’d see me as weak after what happened, but now, I don’t really care. Iamweak for my wife and daughter, but I’m also stronger than ever because of them.
“I reached out to this woman who makes sensory clothes and shit for kids, and I explained to her why Ashia won’t talk to Dr. Von. She made her a weighted blanket that she can use to dampen outside sounds for the baby. We’re not a hundred percent sure it’ll work, but she said she would test it, and—”
“Dude! That’s fucking awesome!” Zeke jerks his hand out to the side, slapping Alex on the arm likehedid something bad. “Why the hell didn’t we think of that?” Alex groans and swats his hand away.
“You’re such a prick.”
“I’m really mad I didn’t come along on this one.” Carter finally speaks up again in my ear, and we all burst out into laughter as we walk away from my own crime scene. They continue to laugh and joke as we make our way back into the fairgrounds, heading towards the car like nothing happened.
It feels like old times again. There are people missing, Henry and Ezra in particular, but as I think of them, there’s not an overbearing dread anymore. Instead, it feels like they’re here ina different way. They’re not haunting me or waiting for me to fall. I can feel them walking beside us, even if we can’t see them.
One of my biggest regrets with Henry is that I’m not sure he knew what he meant to me—to any of us, really. He was more than my best friend. It was like we were truly cut from the same cloth. What I lacked, he made up for, and vice versa. Hell, we’re all like that. We’re each so different, but when we lost Henry, we filled that hole with little pieces of ourselves. The parts of us that remind us of him are our best qualities, and that’s how we’ll keep him alive. We’ll just keep choosing the good things.
“I can’t thank you all enough for taking care of them while I was gone,” I blurt out, barely realizing I said it. Alex and Zeke look at me, confused, like I ever thought they wouldn’t have done it, and Carter just groans on the other end of the line. “You guys mean a lot to me. You know that, right?”
Alex grins sincerely, like it really hit home for him. But then there’s Zeke, who dramatically pretends to swoon by laying the back of his hand on his forehead and walks on faux wobbling knees. I cringe and ignore him, keeping my stare on Alex.
“It’s nothing, D. You guys are family.” Alex cuts his eyes at Zeke and shakes his head, only stopping once Zeke starts to walk like a normal human being again.
“Is Trina pissed? Is that why she went to see her sister?” I ask him.
Alex grins and avoids my gaze, glancing bewilderedly at the night sky, away from us.
“No, she’s not mad. She knows if the role was reversed, you guys would do it for me. She’s, um…” He hesitates, almost like he’s afraid to say something out loud. “She’s pregnant.”
Zeke and I stop in our tracks and stare at him like he’s on fire. They’ve tried to get pregnant for a couple of years now, with no luck at all, andthat’show he tells us? After a murder? Where’s the parade? The hollering and toasts?
“It was, uh…very unexpected after the past couple of tries, but we’re happy. She wanted to wait to say anything until that twelve-week mark, in case it didn’t work out, but it’s you guys. How could I not?” he continues, and that’s when Zeke pounces. He jumps onto Alex’s back, wrapping his arm around his neck in an overexaggerated, literal breath-taking hug.
“Holy shit, man! No way!”
“Get off of me, you damn caveman!” Alex screams and throws him off. Zeke stumbles back, laughing so hard his face turns red, and I just start walking again, wary of all the new sets of eyes glaring at us. “So, where are we picking up this blanket from?” he deflects.
“She’s about thirty minutes away. I'm sorry to ask.”
“It’s no big deal, man.” Zeke stands up and dusts himself off, then jogs to catch up to us. “Hey! Actually, I have a better idea. See if she can meet us as at Diane’s in thirty.”
I raise a brow.
“Diane? The lady from the ice cream parlor?”
“They’re closed, Zeke,” Alex says in an obvious, sick-of-your-shit tone.
“I can handle that.” He takes his phone out and dials a number, sprouting a grin so manic that I think his teeth sharpen. As he walks, he swings his free arm leisurely, clearly feeling on cloud nine. Why? The hell if I know. “Hey! Mama D! How you doing?” There’s a small pause. “He’s great, actually. Standing right here… Yeah… Actually, I was calling to ask a favor… Can you do thirty minutes? Perfect! Thanks, Mama D.” He puts it away and claps his hands, clearly proud of himself. I’ve never been more thankful to leave some place as alive as the festival, but I know his not-shit attitude is only going to get worse as we walk out of the front gate. “Let’s go do this right this time.”
I shake my head and continue walking. Maybe ice cream will cushion some of the blow while I talk to Ashia. She never gother treat that day, and instead, she experienced one of the worst moments of her life. There’s no telling if she’ll want it at whatever ungodly hour it will be when we get home, but at least we’ll have it for when she inevitably cries her eyes out.
