Page 43 of Hold Me Down
“Ash, you need to get out here right now.” His voice is as frantic as mine.
“What? Why?”
“We don’t know where D is. There was a fucking deer making noise out here, and when we turned around, he was gone. We can’t find him.”
Panic slams into me. I gasp softly, suddenly not able to catch my breath. My mind is circling everything that’s come up ina matter of seconds, somehow all exploding at once, and I’m scrambling to think of what to do.
“Okay… Okay, I’m coming.” I hang up and turn to Richard and Ser, who are finally walking back up. “Can you guys stay here with her, please?” My free hand finds Victoria’s shoulder and grips her tightly. “Don’t do anything rash. We’re going to figure this out.” I hand Victoria her phone back and rush away from the dining area, not bothering to make sure they actually agreed to stay.
Air whips across my face as I swing around the staircase, heading straight for the back door. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I’m so focused on the porch that everything else around me is blurry. Fresh air floods my lungs as I burst through, and the wooden porch shakes under my feet, urging me to move faster.
“Damien!” I scream for him, running through the backyard towards the first trail marker hanging from the trees. As long as I stick to the bright orange ribbons, I should be able to follow them easily. Damien and I never got the chance to walk through the forest, and now I wish we had. There are rocks, tree roots, and other uneven terrain, but I quickly adjust as I enter the tree line. I’ve never realized how dense our woods are until now. The trees are so close together that even in the afternoon sun, it’s hard to see past the first few yards.
The pathway they’ve chosen so far is laid out nicely, and mostly straight. Every step I take is careful though, knowing the risks. I don’t only have to worry about falling or getting lost. There’s no way to tell what kind of headspace he’s in right now. He’s been afraid of these woods since he’s been home, thinking that an assassin was hiding in the darkness. I should’ve known better than to leave him to go up here without me, but he seemedsosure. He wanted totry, and I couldn’t tell him no. He’s sodesperate to have everything back to how it was, that he’s willing to do whatever it takes. I should’ve known he wasn’t ready.
“Ash?!” I hear Zeke from up ahead when something else makes me stop in my tracks. A familiar feeling surrounds me, almost speaking to me. My brother calls for me again, but I barely hear him over this pounding urge to follow this sensation. As I look to my right, I don’t immediately see anything other than trees, bushes, and dirt, but I know something is over there. It’s drawing me in, calling to me in a way that onlyhecan.
“Damien?” I call out for him again, a little quieter this time. When he doesn’t answer, I straighten my spine, cradle my belly with one arm, and step further into the woods, following this feeling. It reaches out for me like a dark mist is crawling its way to greet me. I’ve followed it before, and I would follow it a million times over. The club, the woods, alleyways—I’ve never been lead completely blind. My faith in Damien has never wavered, and I refuse to cower when he needs me most.
A shadow darts from my right, drawing my attention. I can feel him here. As insane as that sounds, his dangerous edge has always spoken to me like I’m the only one that understands. It addresses me on a deeper level, one that I feel within my bones. He’s out here and he’s angry, but most importantly, he’s scared. My heart continues to race, but the desperation climbing up my throat starts to ease. While my surroundings are unfamiliar, this game isn’t. His mind might be somewhere else, but I know exactly where his heart is—with me.
Another rustling sound comes from my left, directing my attention that way, when a hand covers my mouth. It’s so large that as it grips my face, it reaches from one end of my jaw to the other. A strong force pulls me back, turning me around to hit something rough and hard from behind with a surprisingly cushioned blow. Electric blue floods my sight, sending both ice and fire down my spine.
Damien towers over me, staring down at me with pupils the size of pinpoints and irises overtaken by nothing but a raging sea of blues. His eyes are wide and crazy, like he sees something else entirely. He’s breathing so heavily that his chest heaves in the most enticing way while sweat drips down his forehead and neck, making his hair look even more wild.
I can’t help but stare. He’s completely unhinged, trapped in whatever scenario his mind has conjured up. It’s breathtaking. He looks more powerful than he has since he’s been home, and even though he’s clearly distraught, I can’t help but lean into his madness. I want to dive in it with him. My soul wants to walk through the ashes and hellfire that’s ravaged his mind and stand beside him to witness the chaos. I reach up and rest my hands on his chest and inhale deeply through my nose to soak him in. My heart is pounding so harshly that I’m sure he can feel it through his palm.
He slowly lowers his hand from my mouth, grazing his fingertips down my chin and over my throat to feel my racing pulse. I swallow harshly, trying not to notice the veins popping up on the side of his neck and forearms. Now is not the time for me to be so turned on, but I can’t help but squeeze my thighs together, feeling the wetness starting to leak from my core.
“Just breathe, baby,” I whisper to him, not wanting to speak too loudly in case I scare him off. The tips of his fingers glide up and down the column of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. My bottom lip trembles, matching the flutters with a desperation to kiss him. I have to swallow again as he clenches his jaw, because I wish he would clench his teeth around my skin instead.
He lowers his head to nudge against me, rubbing our noses together in an affectionate but primal way. His beast is calling out for me, urging him to devour me, and I would let him in a heartbeat.
“I’m out of control…” His whispered words shake, like he’s hardly containing himself in my presence. Those four words sound so fearful and feral all at once. He’s trembling. Harshly. While I want to search his blue depths for a hint of the same tether and arousal I feel, I’m afraid all I’ll find there is terror. He moves closer, trapping me against the tree with his firm torso as he inhales deeply, taking in my scent. I squirm against him, almost tempted to straddle his thigh, but holding back purely for his sake.
“Then take it back, Damien.Youare in control here.” I finally stare into his eyes that are no more than a couple of inches away. His breaths mingle with mine, and the forest is growing warmer by the second. One of his fingers grazes the perfect spot on my neck, making me shutter, and that’s when he snaps.
He grips my face in his hand and crashes his lips to mine, letting his primal urges take over. It’s rough and hot, the most urgent thing I’ve felt in weeks. His tongue instantly finds mine and attacks, demanding my submission without words. I’ll bow without question. I’ll be his good little wife and let him command my every move. His other hand finds my ass, pulling me even closer, and when I feel his erect dick against me, something even more ravenous within my chest claws its way out.
He wants me.
I was afraid after what he’s been through that he wouldn’t want to be touched or feel so intimate, but now, there’s not a doubt in my mind that my husband desires me—needsme. I want to be whatever he wishes me to be right now. He could use me however he wanted, and I would thank him for it. I pull back and rest my forehead against his cupping his face in my hands.
“Tell me what you want, Damien. Use your words,” I demand breathlessly, hoping to use his own tactic against him. His hand moves leisurely to the back of my head, then tightens into a fistin my hair, yanking my head back to stare up at him. Lightning explodes behind his already-savage eyes, and a growl leaves his snarled lip, demanding to reclaim my soul.
“I don’t want words. I want my wife on her fucking knees,” he commands, and I drop without hesitation. My mouth is already salivating, starving for my husband’s cock. Being pregnant has made me crave some weird shit, ranging from tastes, feelings, and smells, but I haven’t wantedanythingas much as I want his cum in this moment. My entire body is on fire, my skin in flames, ready to tear open his jeans and swallow him whole. But I wait, staring up at him and practically gnawing at the bars for a command. When he speaks, his regal tone finally returns—the one only meant formyGod. “Take off my belt, Ashia.”
My hands dart out before I even think of it. I’m clawing at the leather, ready to rip to it shreds if necessary. Thankfully, it comes undone easily enough, and by the time I pull his jeans apart, he’s already fisting his erection in his hand. He takes himself out and strokes, choking his own dick until his thumb runs over the head.
“Please…” I look up at him and beg, nearly foaming at the mouth. When he rubs the head of his cock against my lips, I can’t help but dart my tongue out to taste. I run the end around his tip, staring up at him and starting to sweat from the heat building between us.
“Fuck, do that again,” he instructs breathlessly, so I do it even slower this time. His eyes flutter, almost roll, when a seductive grin curls at the corner of my lips. A bead of precum dribbles onto my tongue, sending a building hum throughout my body as I wrap my lips around him—taking only the head of his cock in. A moan, sounding more like a growl, leaves his lips just before he pushes further into my mouth. I cup my tongue around him, just as he likes, and my core clenches around nothing, making me whimper.
I moan around him, savoring the salty taste, and he twitches inside my mouth, egging me on. This feels amazing.He’sfeeling good.I’mmaking him feel this way, even when his mind is trying to betray him once again. My chest is beautifully heavy, and my lower stomach is churning with desire, yearning, desperate to hear him speak like that again.
His grip tightens in my hair, and when he starts to move my head to the pace he wants, I grasp his hip to steady myself. I move my tongue to glide against the underside of him, and my body heats with the contact, clit pulsing and heart racing. He reaches out to the tree behind me to steady himself, clearly getting into the sensation.
He moves my head and thrusts faster as we both lose ourselves. I work my mouth and tongue, swallowing around him and gasping for air every chance I get. My eyes sting with tears, and every time he hits the back of my throat, my clit throbs again. I roll my hips, hoping to get some type of stimulation to my thumping pussy. I’d love nothing more than to feel his cock slam inside of me, but right now isn’t about me. The thought of having to spend the rest of the day with an aching core makes me cry a little harder, though.
