Page 92 of Hold Me Down
I giggle, but my smile only grows when he finally kisses me properly. He captures me in a tender, yet smiley kiss, clearly feeling good about his secretive plan. When I pull away from him, he keeps his lips puckered like he’s going to stay that way until I kiss him again. I just put my finger there to keep him still.
“You’re not going out there to find himalone, are you?”
His eyes soften just a little, and then he kisses the tip of my finger before pulling back.
“No. My dad is coming. If anyone else deserves to take that fucker out, it’s him. Zander’s going to stay with Mom.” He sits down next to me on the bed, so I sit back up and try to mentally prepare myself.
“Well, I guess I better start packing our bags, then.”
“They’re already packed.” He smirks again, and I playfully huff.
“You know, you don’t have to doeverything.” I roll my eyes in feigned annoyance.
“Of course I do. You’re working hard enough.” He kisses me again and leans down to kiss my belly before standing up again.“If you want to start thinking about what you want in your hospital bags, you can do that.”
“Just think about it?”
“Well, yeah. I’m going to pack that, too.” He winks at me and steps back to the door, picking up the trash bag like it weighs nothing, even though it’s completely full. I can’t help but try to sneak a glance one more time, hoping that something will poke out of the top, but he catches me again and gives me one of those sweet grins. “You’re dying to see it, aren’t you?”
“Ireallyam,” I whine, but his chuckle soothes some of the sting in my chest.
“I guess we don’t have to wait.” He drops the waste bag another time and retraces his steps back to me. A slight tinge of guilt bubbles up in my throat, because I know how difficult and pouty I’ve been lately
“No, no. I’m sorry. I’ll stop complaining about it. This isyourproject.”
His playful smirk melts into an endearing grin, and his body language morphs into something more fluid as he bends down to match my eyes.
“Ashia, I may be the one working on it, but this is for you and our baby girl. You both deserve a room where you feel safe and at peace while you bond, and I want to give that to you. If you’re ready to see it, then of course, you can. Come on, let me show you.” He grabs my hands to help me stand, but they’re actually a little clammy. Is he nervous? Oh, God. Now I feel even worse.
He starts to lead me towards the nursery door, keeping his gaze on me as he steps backwards. His movements must still be a little lazy, because it almost seems like he’s rocking from side to side. It’s barely enough for me to notice, but when his grin only deepens, I realize the truth.
It’smeleaning from side to side.
Oh, God, am Iwaddling?
“Close your eyes, anddon’tpeek.”
I swallow back any potential embarrassment and do as he says. The tips of my fingers start to tingle from both the anxiety and the excitement. When the door opens, a part of me expects to smell dust and left-over paint fumes, but I’m pleasantly surprised by a light mix of clean linens and lavender. I let the comforting feeling it brings seep into my skin as he leads me a few more steps inside.
“Okay… Now you can open them.”
My eyelids flutter open, only to be instantly filled with tears. Shock and elation flood me from head to toe, completely in awe of what I’m seeing.
“Damien…” I whisper, because that’s all I can get out.
Three of the walls are a light and warm, limewashed grey, painted to look like clouds, but the wall directly behind the crib is a large, whimsical, fictional map. I recognize it instantly. So many feelings overcome me, flooding my entire body with wonder and so much love I might implode.
It’s the map of Neverland fromPeter Pan.
He even changed the flooring to be a soft, greyish-pale beige, a color that is instantly relaxing. Somehow, it matches all of the walls—even the old paper color from the map—and I can only imagine how hard that was to decide on. In the middle of the room is a circular rug with the same, old-timey compass etched into the fabric—and his skin—matching the wall impeccably. I can’t help but step on it, admiring how soft the fibers feel between my toes.
Now I understand why he said putting the crib together took so long. It’s the same tone and hue as the floor, but the wood is curved and cut to look like tree branches. It’s smooth to the touch, like whatever it’s coated with makes it impossible to splinter. The sheets are a soft cream color that somehow goesperfectly, and there’s a plush quilt hanging over the front railing, with Peter Pan’s shadow etched right into the middle.
Even the mobile hanging over it all is an homage to the movie, showing me that he understands exactly what it means to me. Two stars hang in the middle, one slightly bigger and higher than the other, and surrounding it are little pirate ships, clouds, and tinier stars. I’m shocked at how lightweight it all is, almost like paper when I run my fingertips along each hanging object.
“I know you were probably expecting a lot of pink and fluffy things…” I turn to face him, my heart twisting at the nervousness on his face. “But Serena loved the idea when I ran it by her, and she said I shouldn’t do anything else…that you would love it.” He runs his hands on the fabric of his jeans, clearly struggling to contain his nerves. “If it’s too much, I can change it. I know the theme might be a little triggering—”
I step back over to him and crash my lips to his before he can say anything else. The tautness in his body fades instantly, and he pulls me as close as he can, embracing our lips together until I pull away.
