Page 67 of Hold Me Down
I sink into the warm leather, soaking in the calm before the storm. It sounds like he is, too, by the sounds of his deep breaths. A part of me wants to ask if he’s okay, to help him dissectwhatever is running through his head right now. I don’t look at him, though. I don’t want him to feel like he has to talk about how he’s feeling if he doesn’t want to. There’s probably so much anxiety and anger that’s charged beneath his skin that it’s hard to pick it apart.
He’s ready to come back to work. He has been for weeks now, but I’m also afraid of how it will affect him. Satori is an annoyance without all of the extra stress, much less now with so much going through his mind. The guys and I have been trying to spare him from Satori’s bullshit, but Kade’s call messed that up. He’s been worried about what’s going on here ever since, no matter how much he tries to deny it.
I finally look over at him, wanting to memorize his profile under the stormy weather, but he’s already staring at me, like he never truly looked at the sky in the first place. His sweet, chaotic eyes trail over my face in a loving sweep, taking in my features like I wanted to do to his.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I whisper, almost afraid to ask. I don’t want to ruin his confidence or make him think I believe he isn’t ready.
“Honestly? I’m not sure,” he whispers back, protecting the peace and quiet. “But being here feels right—especially with you beside me.” He grins again, softer this time, and continues to rub my belly in the movements that comfort him. “I just don’t want to lose my shit on my first day back.”
I can’t help but giggle at him.
“Even if you did, baby, it wouldn’t be outside of your normal. At this point, the guys would expect nothing less.”
He winks at me, flashing his pearly teeth in the hottest way. How is he even more beautiful now than he ever was? Every time I look at him, there’s just…more. There’s more love, more attraction, more adoration…more ofeverything.Heis everything. Even as I take a soothing breath, it’s consumed byhim—his scent, his taste, his aura. To think that I went an entire month without breathing seems impossible.
“Do you want a few more minutes?” he asks softly, his gaze never leaving my face—even as I gawk at him.
“It’s whateveryouneed, Damien. I’m ready whenever you are.” I gently poke his nose, and my heart skips a beat when he does that adorable nose-scrunch.
“I think I’m ready now.” He kisses the tip of my finger before setting his seat upright and stepping out into the rain. Something as simple as that shouldn’t appear heavenly, but even the way he moves captivates me. He’s so fluid, yet so strong. Somehow, it looks like he weighs nothing at all, even with all of that muscle.
When I finally break out of my daze, I only have enough time to adjust my seat before my door opens. He leans in to unbuckle my seatbelt, and I can’t help but giggle again, feeling all warm and fuzzy in my chest. His grin only grows, and for a moment, I think I’ll have trouble standing with how weak my knees get.
He helps me up and out of the car, anyway, immediately holding an umbrella above us. The rain pattering against the material isn’t as soothing as it is against the glass, but it feels even better when he wraps his arm around me to lead us inside. I absorb his warmth instantly and shrink into his side just to get a little more of it. My eyes scan the outside, feeling a little better about our presence with every step we take. It strangely feels like coming home, like I’ve somehow missed this place, too.
Our little peace bubble is popped the moment he opens the door, and it’s infiltrated by nothing but noise. Loud voices and booming punches ring throughout the training area, and then, even louder shouts echo their way to my ears.
Everyone’s faces light up. The second they see us walking through the entryway, whoops and hollers explode through the area, and we’re instantly crowded. Chris is one of the first onesto invade our space, and I have to step to the side to dodge his ‘bro hug.’
“D! Holy shit!” Chris yells and throws his arm around his shoulder, not hesitating for even a moment. Damien’s smile only grows, and a part of me is shocked when he actually hugs him back.
“Hey, man. It’s good to see you,” he chuckles, eyeing the rest of the crowd. It warms my heart to see the way he’s shaking hands and giving side hugs, immediately asking everyone how they are and not focusing on himself.
I’m not sure evenherealized how much he missed them. His skin beams with that God-like glow, and he stands so tall among them. There’s a gleam to his eyes that’s slowly coming back to life, and even though I’m not attached to his side at this moment, I can still feel the same comfort he does. Seeing everyone is healing something inside him, and it’s one of the most heartwarming sights.
A cold wave floods me out of nowhere, making me look around the room. The feeling of being watched creeps up my neck and then explodes when I find the culprit. Satori sulks at the other side of the room, standing with his hands in his pockets and an annoyed grimace. His eyes instantly lock onto mine, and even though there are a hundred reasons why he could be looking in our direction, Iknowhe’s glaring at me. For what? I’m not sure. It’s not like I’ve done anything the past few weeks to piss him off, but something tells me this goes past that. Whatever resentment he had for me in the beginning has resurfaced, and something is telling me he’s not burying it this time.
I’m first to break the spell, because no matter how badly he creeps me out, this isn’t about me. This is about Damien. Seeing the happiness on his face is worth more than staking my claim. Perhaps it’s because we’re back now and Satori’s chances ofmoving up the rankings have bled out, but I’m not going to stop to ask about it right now.
“Damien, you’ve got to see the identification cards we’ve been working on!” Zander yells from entryway door, unknowingly putting a target on his back. It’s a playful one, of course. Damien would never hurt his cousin. He does have a bone to pick with him, however. Apparently, he taught Kelsey how to use a rifle, or something? And then she showed Danielle? I don’t really know the details, but I know Damien definitely doesn’t approve.
“Ah, Zander. Just who I was hoping to see,” Damien teases and grabs my hand. I walk with him towards his cousin, and I can’t help but laugh when Zander’s face pales.
“D… Damien, come on, man. They practically made me.” He holds his hands up and starts to slowly back away. We just continue to walk in his direction leisurely, obviously getting a kick out of Zander’s reaction. “You’ve met our family. You know how bat-shit the girls are!”
“Hey!” Kelsey, his sister, yells from the girl’s bathroom door. “Fuck you!”
“Fuck you, too!” Zander yells back at her, then snaps his head back to us. Well, Damien, really, because I let go and step closer to Kelsey. The moment I release his hand, Damien jumps over to Zander and wraps his arm around his shoulders humorously. His smile only grows into excitement, but Zander yelps as Damien scratches his scalp with his knuckles. The moment they start to wrestle, Zeke catches my attention and walks over to me.
“Well, that didn’t take long,” he chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
“It sure didn’t,” I reply proudly and lean into him, taking in his brotherly affection. Tears actually spring to my eyes as I watch Damien interact with everyone. They all practically dog-pile him once he gets Zander to the ground. I’m just grateful these tears are happy ones this time. He’s been in so much pain the past fewweeks… I’ve wanted nothing more than to see this genuine bliss on his face. He even reaches through the heap of men to pet the dogs as they patter up to smell everyone.
Zeke stands next to me and continues to laugh, taking in the moment with me. For the first time in a long time, Damien finally seemswholeagain. I take in a deep breath, absorbing this feeling as if we’ll never experience it again, even though I’m sure we will. There’s not a doubt in my mind that we’ll have more moments like this, that this tiny instant is a glimpse into the rest of our lives.
I really like this vision.
Like a shadow, Satori descends upon us. He walks up to the group just as they help Damien back up, and I hate the little rattle that shakes its way down my spine. Zeke’s grip around my shoulders only tightens, telling me he feels the same uneasiness as I do. Anger starts to conjure in my chest the moment Damien locks eyes with him and the delight on his face vanishes. Kade walks up with Satori, but he stops short and gives me a worried look paired with tight lips.
