Page 123 of Hold Me Down
Damien groans.
“Well, your brother’s here.”
Chapter 43
Damien
Three Days Later
How the fuck am I supposed to keep my eyes on the road when I have a camera view of our angel asleep in her car seat? Every five seconds, I catch myself glancing at the little screen to make sure she’s still breathing. I just want to stare at her for hours, but I can’t, no matter how much it kills me. Ice and snow still cover the route home, and while Ashia’s car has good handling, I’m terrified that it’s not enough.
The hospital needed the room, and Ashia is ready to get home. She assured me that the half an inch of snow outside was not going to keep us from getting back, but doesn’t she know how fate tends to turn on us? What if there’s a patch of ice, or a random deer decides to run out, and I have to try and dodge it?
I want to ask what happens if someone in a dark vehicle comes up from behind and runs us off the road, but I bite my tongue instead.
Thankfully, Emma’s been able to hold her own temperature for the past twelve hours, and while they normally wait until the baby can go twenty-four without issues, they let her go home with the promise of Serena’s observation during the first night. As long as she does well, we don’t have to take her back in until her first check-up next week.
They act like my baby is going to go any length of time without either feeling my touch or her mother’s, and that thought isabsurd.
I risk another glance, unable to help myself. Is her hat still covering her ears? Does she have enough blankets? Are there too many? Is she too hot? It’s sixteen degrees outside. Are her toes warm enough?
Ashia laces her fingers with mine and rests her head on my arm.
“She’s okay, Damien,” she reassures me in the cutest, most adoring tone.
“She’s just so quiet.”
“Well, she’s asleep,” she giggles softly. “We’re almost home, babe. You can get her out the moment we step inside.”
We turn into the driveway that’s already somehow clear. It’s a little wet from the sprinkle of snow that’s still happening, but someone definitely shoveled it today. I figured I would have to get out and do it myself, since Carter and Zeke are inside packing up their things, but it seems they made the time despite their full schedules today.
I park the car and practically jump out, knowing Ashia is going to try to get herself out. I’m glad Serena was smart enough to bring her in the Traverse and not her Honda Civic, because the height difference makes it easier for her to get in and out of. Thatdoesn’t mean I want her to step out without support, though. She’s still extremely sore and my girl’s worked hard to feed our daughter as often as they’ve suggested.
We’re still discussing the pumping idea, because not only then would I be able to feed Emma, but Ashia could get some real rest…but she doesn’t seem too happy about the idea, yet. I understand and definitely won’t push her one way or the other. I just want to help as much as possible. Getting water, snacks, and helping her hold Emma in the right position just doesn’t feel like enough with everything she’s doing.
She barely gets her seat belt off before I make it to her door. I love the way she smiles at me through the glass, obviously amused by my haste. I don’t hesitate to open her door and ease her out, making sure she’s steady before I pull my hands away. After a daring ‘stay right here’ look, I get Emma out as gently as possible and try like hell not to wake her. My grip on the handle is so tight that my knuckles turn white, because I’ll be damned if I drop her or let her sway too much.
Thankfully, everyone is quiet when we walk inside. Victoria and Elizabeth are sitting on the far couch with Serena, Daisy is so excited that she’s tippy-toeing against the floor, and Zeke and Carter stand by the kitchen island. Thank fuck Carter agreed to stay at a hotel until his house is finished, and now…it’s just time to talk to Zeke.
My only hope is that I’ve told my wife and daughter how much I love them, because Zeke might just kill me.
I walk Ashia over to the couch, putting the car seat as gently on the floor as I can before helping her sit. Elizabeth excitedly tries to scoot over and sit next to Ashia, but Victoria holds her back. She looks back at her mom with a look of betrayal, sticking out her bottom lip and making it quiver. It actually pains me.
“No, she’s okay. She can see her.” Ashia looks up to me, silently asking me as if I’d ever say no to a little girl. Serenasquirts an insane amount of hand sanitizer in her hands before passing the bottle to Victoria, who helps Elizabeth do the same as I turn back around.
I almost freeze when I look at our perfect girl again. I’m still amazed by how small and delicate she is—how someone so pure can be half of me. Even as I take her out of the car seat and she does that adorable little newborn scrunch, my hands practically swallow her. I hold her against my chest, and my throat tightens when she sighs, cooing in the cutest way like my affection cured all of her newborn worries. Because her cheeks are a little red, I take her pink hat off and toss it into the seat, instantly getting lost in her pale blonde hair.
“Baby?” my wife calls out, and I turn my head to meet her angelic face. “Do you want to bring her over so Elizabeth can meet her?”
Ah, shit.
“Yeah. Yes, of course.” I step back over to them and gently lay her in Ashia’s arms. She scrunches just a little when I pull back and instantly reaches out with spread arms, one towards me and one towards Ashia. I almost reach back out for her, but stop myself the moment Elizabeth crawls closer. My feet move toward the kitchen on their own, creating distance between me and them before I pull both Ashia and Emma into my hold again.
Ashia smiles at me with pearly teeth and bright amber eyes. Her pride shines so brightly that I would happily go blind staring at her. There’s so much love and happiness in her features that I want to carve this moment into stone. Her divinity should always be etched into eternity, surrounded by nothing but offerings of gold and jewels, ones that shine just as intensely as she does.
“Are they doing okay?” Zeke asks me, breaking my thoughts again. I lean back against the space between him and Carter on the kitchen island, but I still don’t avert my gaze. It’s almostimpossible for me to, especially when I know Zeke is looking at them as well.
“They’re… Fuck, they’re amazing.” I shake my head softly, still in disbelief that I have all heaven has to offer.
