Page 115 of Hold Me Down
“What?!” The nurse yells, making Ashia flinch. I hold her even tighter and breathe deeply, letting the fury bubble in my throat. “You can’t—”
“You heard her. You’re fired. Get the fuck out,” I seethe, knowing that while Serena may not be able to make that decision, I can. If Serena isthisappalled by the department’s behavior, then I’ll follow whatever she says.
The nurse storms off, shoving Ashia’s chart into the slot on the wall and slamming the door shut. Serena walks up to us and rubsAshia’s back, then looks to me as Ashia buries her face further into my chest.
“I’ll be right back with a new team, okay?” She nods in small little movements, already moving towards the door with her phone to her ear. “Alyssa? We’ve got a big fucking problem! Is this seriously how you run your service?”
“Ser?” Ashia turns her head to look at her best friend when her grip on me tightens again. “Donotyell at the other nurses.” I almost roll my eyes. Of course, my sweet wife is worried about everyone else in our path, even though she’s in excruciating pain.
“I won’t…” She turns back to walk out. “At least where you can hear me.” As soon as the door closes, Ashia goes back to nuzzling her face in my chest. She trembles lightly beneath my hold, and I hate it.
“Did you find Satori?” Her tone is curious, but not shocked, while my heart stops from her question.
“How do you know about that?”
“Does it matter?” she argues with a whiny voice, and I feel like shit. “We said we wouldn’t hide anything anymore.”
“I know, baby. I just didn’t want you to worry…”
“It’s better for me to be prepared, to be ready for anything to happen…so I can protect her.” She looks up at me with beautiful, watery eyes, filled with fear. “Damien?” Her voice cracks, breaking my fucking heart. “I'm scared… I can’t protect her from this. What if she’s not okay?” Tears roll down her cheeks, and I immediately reach up to wipe them away.
“Hey…” I put one hand on her face and continue to support her with my dominant arm. My thumb grazes her cheek, then her trembling lip as sweetly as I can. “I know this is scary. Shit, I’m scared too…but I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got both of my girls, no matter what.Nothingis happening to either one of you, I swear it. You’ve done such a good job growing our little miracle. She isgoing to be just fine. You heard Serena, she's just ready to meet us—that's all. You’ve donenothingwrong.” She nods against my hand as I plant a gentle kiss on her warm forehead, soaking in her scent and aura just because I can’t get enough. “We’re going to let Serena handle all of the other bullshit, and we’re just going to focus on you and our baby girl,” I whisper against her skin and melt into the way she leans into me.
Ashia is so God damn strong. She's been laboring for twelve hours and already pushing for one. I've kept her in my arms, just like she wanted. Between hip squeezes, rocking, and massages to help her through this, there might have been a total of two minutes when I wasn’t touching her. Even now, she relies on me to support her as she pushes again.
Her head lays back on my shoulder as she rests between my legs. I'm holding her right leg up in a bent position, allowing her to rest almost all of her weight against me while her left leg remains touching the floor. She moved into this position three push cycles ago, and decided that this is the one that was most comfortable. I cradle her belly with my left arm, taking all of the weight she lets me hold. I stay standing upright on the edge of the hospital bed, only leaning back on it to encourage her to sink into me when she needs to.
She bears down again, groaning as she lets her body work.
“That's it, baby. You're doing so good. Keep going,” I praise her, just completely in awe of her strength. When she gasps and yelps, my heart stutters, knowing something has changed.
I'm sure she can feel my heart pounding into her back, because the anticipation is overflowing, making everything erratic. Myheart rate, my own breathing, the love I feel for my wife—it’s all out of control. Her body tenses harshly beneath my hold as she pushes again, and she cries out in pain.
Dr. Campbell smiles up at us from her kneeling position on the floor.
“She's crowning now. Do you want to help guide her out?” she asks like I would actually say no. Ashia nods, unable to speak, so I hold her hand in mine and let the doctor guide our hands down to feel her head as she starts to come through.
“Oh, my God…” Ashia gasps, but I'm just awestruck, completely fucking mesmerized.
“You feel that, little wolf?” My face hurts from smiling so hard. “She’s almost here…” Tears already prick my eyes, and I don't dare try to stop them from falling. “Come on, baby! Another big push! She's right there, waiting to meet you.”
Ashia pushes again, so hard that she shakes against me. The baby’s head emerges, just big enough to fill her mother’s hand, and that sends Ashia into her instincts. She cries out and uses all of her might to bear down again, then sucks in a lung full of air as our daughter slips out into our waiting hands. She collapses against me in intense relief, and I pull her onto the bed as gently as I can.
Sweet, loud cries fill the room, coming from both my wife and daughter. Ashia and I both instinctively reach for our baby and pull her into her mother's warm chest.
“She's okay?!” Ashia cries, staring at our little girl through tears as she squirms against her skin. She's red, wrinkly, and slimy, but holy fuck, she’s the most beautiful thing I've ever seen—apart from her mother, of course.
“She’s perfect…” I tighten my hold on my wife, darting my gaze between her face and our baby girl’s, because I need to take them both in. Ashia cradles her as close as she can, and I frame herarms with mine, determined to keep them both in my arms for eternity. “She’s fucking perfect.”
Ashia lets her head fall limp against my chest as she stares at our daughter and sobs. The relief rolls off her in waves, seeping into my skin. I kiss her forehead as my own tears race down my face and drop into her hair, unable to stop. My chest feels huge, like if I breathe in again, I'll burst.
Then I lean down to kiss our daughter’s head, choking up the moment my lips touch her cool, blonde hair. She has blonde hair…just like my mom…and my sister… My heart twists with so much love, I think I have a heart attack.
She continues her tiny, goat-like cries, and reaches out with her itty-bitty hand to feel her mother's skin.
“It’s okay, baby girl. We're right here.” Ashia grabs her hand and gasps softly when her little fingers wrap around one of hers. “Mommy and Daddy are right here…”
Dr. Campbell stands to suction out her cute little mouth, using tiny drops on her eyes, and holds a stethoscope to her chest before quickly backing away.
