Page 10 of Mended Souls
I shrugged. “I’ve been better. T-the nightmares are more intense.” I watched Dr. Williams scribble on her notepad. It was weird to think that at our last session, we were talking about how I’d take my chance at Blaize, and then I went on a date.
“What triggered it? And the bandages?” I knew that was her burning question.
Dr. Williams knew what happened in this town, but she minded her own business and focused on her patients. She knewabout the club because she had multiple patients from the club, thanks to Annika. She knew about Blaize because she was the leader in this town, but the two of them have never met in person to my knowledge.
I picked at the white gauze. “I didn’t relapse. It never crossed my mind this time, and this wasn’t my choice. Blaize reacted poorly to the death of one of her people and thought I was involved. Uhm…Hawke took me from the club after drugging me. I woke up chained in her basement at the clubhouse.”
“Kadence, I know Blaize is the boss in this town, but why? From my understanding, she protects innocents.”
I shrugged. “I was the one anomaly in her perfect life. The one person she couldn’t mold into her perfect follower. Everyone is scared of her, but not me…er, at least before, but I don’t think I am actually scared of her. I think I am angrier and more hurt. Not just with her, but with myself.”
“Tell me what happened while you were in her basement.”
“Blaize kept asking me about someone named Elijah West, but I don’t know him or what he did. She said she had proof of me talking to someone, but I don’t even know what this man looks like. Blaize was angry. She cut my neck and I—” I took a staggering breath. “My skin burned, my breathing became heavy, and I sawthemin the room. I panicked and struggled against the restraints. I cut my wrists.”
“Kadence, I am so sorry that happened. Why did she think it was you?”
I shrugged. “This person killed Layla and shot Fallon, two members of the motorcycle club. They were important people to Blaize. I don’t know what the proof is that she has, but yeah. If I would’ve told her who I really am this would have been avoided, but I’m stupid. It’s my own fault, I guess. I’m nothing but a fuck up.”
“Kadence, no one has a right to know your trauma to please their own needs. This is not your fault.”
“Y’know, everyone keeps saying that.” I laughed bitterly. “Everything that happens to me is not my fault, but it happens because of my actions. I dated the bad boy. I disobeyed my father. I got raped. Then, I moved here and kept to myself, causing Blaize to flip her shit. When she asked who I was, I lied. Kadence Hayes doesn’t exist.”
“It is your life. No one needs to know your truth. You hear it all the time, but what happened to you is not your fault. I know you don’t believe it right now, but you are not a fuck up. You’re growing. Your rebellion came from childhood neglect because of your father’s grief. It is not an excuse for the way he treated you.”
I diverted my eyes from her, feeling a lump in my throat. This vulnerability was not who I was.Fuck Blaize and her stupid overreaction. “I-I’m in love with her,” I admitted. “I should be furious and hate her. I should be planning my revenge, but my stupid fucking heart is longing for her. She’s the only person I want in this fucked up mess.”
“You can’t help what your heart desires, but don’t listen to your heart right now.”
“I haven’t been great at listening to my head, either.”
She nodded. “Don’t break your own heart going after someone who can’t love you the way you deserve.”
The next morning,I felt better, but I was still spiraling. I needed to do something to help me keep my control, but I didn’tknow what. Letting my pain fester was what caused this and now I had to live with it.
I walked into the living room to see Annika and her guys on the couch. Annika greeted me with a smile as I grabbed a blanket to join her. Theo stood up and took a seat on the floor, grabbing Annika’s legs and pulling them around his neck. Drew was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and the aroma was mouthwatering.
There was a knock on the door, and Drew stepped into the foyer and looked at Annika, who then shrugged her shoulders. When he opened the door, he looked down, picking up a vase filled with three dozen, long-stemmed, blood-red roses. I glanced at Annika who looked just as surprised as Drew.
“Which one bought you flowers?”
“Uhm, I actually hate flowers,” Annika admitted. “If the guys are going to spend money on me, I want something that doesn’t die in a week. I’m not a plant girl. I think it’s dumb.”
“It looks like they are for you, Kadence.”
I arched my brow. Roses? Who the hell would send me roses? Weren’t these expensive? I walked into the kitchen with Annika hot on my tail. My fingers brushed gently against the delicate petals as the soft aroma of rose filled my nose. I loved roses, but I never loved the rose scent. I grabbed the card with a delicate font sprawled across the front of it.
Princess,
Flipping it open,I grimaced, reading the scribbled words on the white cardstock.
I know there are not enough words to express how sorry I am for hurting you. My actions, even that of a broken heart, arenot an excuse for doing what I did. I will wait every day until my last breath, hoping for the chance to make this right.
I know I can’t erase the hurt I’ve caused, but I promise to spend every moment proving how sorry I am.
Yours, Blaize.
My hand gripped the card.The words landed like a knife in my heart.Were you fucking kidding me?It was going to take a lot more than pretty flowers to earn my forgiveness, if I could ever even forgive her. What she did to me was gut wrenching to think about, but in a way, I understood why she did it. If I’d known Fallon and Layla for as long as she did, I would react the same way. Maybe not having my right-hand man kidnap a girl, but it wouldn’t be pretty. I barely knew Annika, but if anyone hurt her, I would kill them.
