Page 109 of Mended Souls
The doctor nodded, and looked at my father. Was I being selfish? Maybe. Did he really think showing up here would do any good?
There was this battle going on inside my head as the doctor checked over my stitches. I busted one; thankfully it was outside and not internally needing additional surgery. She told me that there was no more stress until I was out of the hospital, at least. My life was one giant fucking stressor.
Once she left, I sank into the bed, looking at the ceiling. “I should hate him,” I gritted out. “I should want you to tie him up in your basement and take away the years of abuse, but with him here after everything that’s happened. I want him to hold me. Tell me I’ll be okay. I want him to be my dad.”
She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. If someone would have told me ten months ago my life would be like this, I’d laugh in their face. I never deserved happiness, even if this happiness did have several bumps in the road.
“This is your choice. If you want me to string him up and leave cuts on his body until he bleeds out, I will. If you want him in your life, I will be by your side the whole time, even if I want to hit him in the balls.”
“Is it really over?” I asked. “Can we finally have a normal life without anyone trying to kill us?”
She brushed my hair out of my face and kissed the tip of my nose. “Yes, baby. Elijah and Everly are both dead. You just need to worry about healing. How do you feel?”
“Honestly?” I sighed, sinking into the bed. Everything that happened was a foggy blur. “I think I moved it to the darkest recesses of my mind. I died, but somehow, I’m still alive. The universe really wants to keep me.”
“Good, because I want the prettiest star in the sky burning by my side for eternity.”
I laughed, immediately regretting it when my stomach—chest, body, everything—screamed in agony at the ounce of joy I just had. “Ow, okay. No more being cute. It hurts. I’ve never thought of you as a romantic sap.”
“It’s because I love you,” she beamed and my heart swelled. “Love is terrifying, and I was certain you would die because of me. Another person ripped from my arms at the hands of someone else. I love you. I am head over heels, madly in love with you, Kadence. I’m sorry it took a crazy asshole for me to realize it. I don’t want to live this life without you in it. You are the missing piece my soul needed.”
My eyes burned with unshed tears. “Blaize, I love you, too,” I finally stammered. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Blaize Matthews. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.”
I pulled her down, crushing her lips with mine in an all-consuming kiss. The pain in my body was nothing compared to the butterflies in my stomach for this woman. She crushed me with her body so I wasn’t straining my abdominal muscles—which, by the way, I noticed we use way more than we realize. My heart monitor was going insane, and I was positive the nurse would rush in here, ready to put out the fire, only to see a hotter than hell make out session and personally, I was okay with that.
“You know if everything didn’t hurt, I’d tell you to ride my face.”
“All you need to worry about is healing, princess. We have all the time in the world now.”
I grumbled. “Now that means I’m forced to face the bigger picture. I guess you can send my asshole of a father back in.”
“Do you want me to stay here with you, or do you want to be alone?”
I sighed. “I should talk to him alone. But stay close, and if I scream, just rush in and drop kick him for me.”
“Was I not enough for you?”I asked my father, a hint of anger laced the hurt in my tone. I wanted to know why I was treated the way I was, but I didn’t need Blaize to bring in the calvary. “Why did you hurt me?”
“Caden, I?—”
“That’s not my name. Caden died that night.”
“Kadence, I’m sorry. I’m not the best when it comes to processing my feelings.”
I scoffed. “Oh really. Shoving a gun down my throat told me that. I was hurting, Dad. Just like you. Nathan was gone, but I was still alive. Do you understand how I felt knowing my brother died because of me? I needed a parent. I needed you and Mom, but both of you abandoned me.”
“I—”
“You can’t make up an excuse. You didn’t love me. You wanted me to die instead of Nathan. I’m not stupid. Eventually, I gave up. Why do you think I rebelled and cut myself? I wanted to feel something if I couldn’t have your love. Why do you think I fucked men and women decades older than me? I wanted that love you never gave me.”
“Kadence, I…” He sighed. “I have no excuse. Losing Nathan and then your mom, I was scared I’d lose you, too. I was already a horrible father, but I failed you and Nathan. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t forgive you. The only reason I’m not kicking you out or having Blaize deal with you is because you saved me…again. I’m not leaving Blaize. I’m not going to hide in bum fuck Kansas, or Iowa, or wherever else you want. You can’t control my life anymore.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed, and it made my chest tighten. Why did it take all of this for him to want to care—for him to love me? “I just wanted you to love me. That’s all I wanted. You said it was my fault I was raped, but it was yours. I’m not angry anymore. I’m just hurt that it took you this long to realize that I am your daughter and I deserved your love.”
“I know.”
“I need time. Can you please go? And send Blaize back in.”
