Page 34 of Hell On Heels
But then again, maybe she didn’t need to. Maybe shewantedhim to see it.
His heart pounded as he turned his thoughts over in his mind. If he gave in to this, if he let himself entertain the idea of bringing Lottie closer. he wasn’t sure where it would lead. But what he did know was that she had already carved a space for herself in his world, and that space was growing. Slowly, dangerously.
For now, Razor let out a breath and reached for his jacket. One thing was certain:he couldn’t keep ignoring itforever.
Especially now more than ever. Needing time to think, the only thing that would help clear his mind was getting in the wind for a while. Blasting down the road on his Harley, Razor headed outside the city limits. He wanted to take a ride in the countryside. Twisting the throttle as the bike went into a deep curve, the inertia kept him level as the bike flowed with the road. Razor couldn’t shake the nagging question: would Lottie want more than a casual date?
The wind tore at Razor’s leather jacket as he opened the throttle and surged down the open road, the rumble of his Harley vibrating through his bones. The city was a blur behind him, swallowed up by the darkening horizon. He didn’t know how far he was going, just that he needed to get away for a while. The steady hum of the engine beneath him was the only thing that could calm the storm in his chest.
He’d learned long ago that there were moments when you needed to get out of your own head, get away from the noise, and let the wind whip through your thoughts until they sorted themselves out. His mind had been racing ever since he hung up with Sherlock.Lottie. The woman who’d somehow become the focal point of his obsession.
He twisted the throttle, leaning into another curve, the bike slicing through the road like it was made to do it. The rhythmof the ride, the feel of the engine beneath him, it all brought him back to himself for a few seconds. But then the thoughts returned, unavoidable.
Would Lottie want more than a casual date?
The question gnawed at him. Razor wasn’t stupid. He knew what people saw when they looked at him—rough around the edges, unpredictable, dangerous. Women might want a taste of that, a bit of wild to break up their routine, but Lottie wasn’t like the others. There was a sharpness to her, an intelligence that wasn’t easy to ignore. And it made him wonder.
The bike leaned into another sharp turn as Razor’s thoughts swirled faster than the road ahead.What the hell are you doing, man?The idea of pushing deeper into Lottie’s world made his chest tighten, but at the same time, it felt like a pull—something magnetic.
His grip tightened on the handlebars, knuckles white as he rode the bike through the open countryside. The sun had dipped lower now, the sky painted in shades of orange and purple, but the road stretched endlessly ahead of him. Razor wasn’t sure what he was hoping for out here, but it was the silence he craved—the kind of silence that didn’t have an agenda, just the quiet hum of the world around him.
Eventually, the miles started to blur together, the burn of the engine, and the hum of the road filling his senses until it almost became second nature. Razor wasn’t sure how long he had been out there, maybe an hour, maybe two—but when he pulled off the road and into a quiet rest area, the weight of his thoughts hadn’t shifted. If anything, they’d only grown heavier.
His mind spun like the wheels beneath him, faster than he could control. The ride was supposed to be his escape, a way to put some space between him and the question that had been gnawing at him for hours. But instead, it had only dug in deeper, pulling him in a dozen directions.
He killed the engine, letting the silence settle around him as he took a deep breath. His helmet came off, and he ran a hand through his hair, the cool breeze on his face doing little to ease the knot in his gut.
It wasn’t uncommon to have both a girlfriend and still have a sub at the club. It took a strong woman to handle that sort of relationship. That was not what he wanted at all. Shit! It seemed a ride in the country was not helping him clear his mind. Now he was thinking about having both a girlfriend and a submissive instead of having both in one female.
His thoughts went to him seeing Lottie atThe Red Door. Maybe she wanted a similar relationship. Maybe she was looking for what he and only he could give her. The problem was the not-knowing.
The idea of having both a girlfriend and a sub at the club wasn’t new to Razor. It wasn’t an uncommon arrangement for people who walked the fine line between the world of commitment and the pull of their darker desires. It took someone strong to handle both roles, someone who could navigate the complexity of that relationship with an understanding of boundaries and trust. But Razor didn’t want that. He wasn’t looking for a setup where the pieces never quite fit together.
But what if she could be both?The thought echoed in his mind, uninvited, relentless. What if Lottie could be the one who fulfilled both sides of him? His girl, the one he could buildsomething with, and the one who could surrender to him, no questions asked.
What if she was looking for the same thing? What if she wanted someone who could give her what she needed, someone who wasn’t afraid to push boundaries, to take control? What if, deep down, she was hoping someone would see her the way he saw her? No pretenses, no games. Just raw, unfiltered desire and understanding.
But the problem was that nagging question. The uncertainty of not knowing whether that was what she wanted. He couldn’t just barge in and assume she’d be open to it. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the rejection, or worse, if he was the one who ended up not being what she needed.
Reaching for his phone, Razor’s fingers hovered over the screen for a moment as he fought the impulse to simply toss it away.Don’t overthink this.The words echoed in his mind, but he couldn’t shake the weight of the hesitation in his chest.
He opened his contacts. There was Lottie’s name, sitting innocently at the top of the list. The same name that had been making his pulse race all afternoon, the one that had been haunting his thoughts since the moment he laid eyes on her.
It would be so easy to pick up the phone and send a simple text:You free tonight?Or even better…Want to grab a drink sometime?
But would that be enough? Or was he already setting himself up for something more complicated than either of them could handle?
Before he could think himself out of it, his thumb hit the screen, dialing her number before he could second-guess himself. The sound of the call ringing in his ear felt like an eternity.
He could already hear her voice in his mind, and it only made the knot in his gut tighten.What do you even say to her?he thought. She was smart, strong-willed, and independent. He couldn’t just go in like he was some kind of knight in shining armor offering her a seat at his side. He’d have to meet her where she was, make her see he wasn’t just some guy playing games.
The call rang again. Razor sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, his grip tightening on the phone.
This was it. Either she answered, and the real conversation would begin, or she wouldn’t, and he’d be right back at square one, left with nothing but the same restless thoughts spinning in his head.
He hoped it wouldn’t be the latter. But even if it was, one thing was certain—he wasn’t ready to give up on figuring her out.
Chapter Nineteen
