Page 45 of Elite Player
To a stranger, it might look like we’re in love.
I find myself studying that photo, searching for insincerity, a sign that it’s fake. That Nico’s smile isn’t real or that my cheeks aren’t really blushing. That I’m not freely smiling, not covering up my teeth, as I normally would.
After the game last night, Nico took a couple of questions at the press call then drove me home. We made out in his car for a while and then again when he walked me inside, but I refused to let him into my apartment. He kept asking, but I’d heard Cubby hassling him to go out and celebrate since the team had the day off tomorrow before they would be gone for a week of road games. No matter how much Nico promised he didn’t want to go out, I gave him no other choice, because even if we were really together, I wouldn’t want him to give up time with his teammates for me.
And this wasn’t a real relationship.
“One orgasm?” Nico had asked, and I shook my head. “Then just more kissing?” Again, I said no, and he pressed his hands together, batting his eyelashes. “A sweet treat and streaming movie?”
I laughed and kissed his cheek before sending him on his way, his words from weeks ago ringing in my ears.
The season’s long, but I promise, when I’m home, I’m home.
As nice as that sounded, I wasn’t going to give in to this fantasy that Nico Tremblay could ever actually be mine. I couldn’t get lost in his gifts or charm. Sure, in the moment, it feels amazing to be fawned over, but it isn’t real.
At most, we were friends.
Who sometimes kissed.
And…did more than that…
But, again, I made that deal because I’m tired of being a twenty-five-year-old virgin.
He’s doing me a favor. Flirting and hooking up with me—Bucky Beaver.
Which is reinforced when I scroll through the screenshots Lizzie sent, so many strangers posting comments and insults.
About me.
She looks like Wednesday Addams and Lurch had a baby.
He’s so hot, why is he with her?
be so ffr. her?!?
So you’re telling me I have a chance?
She’s a Philly 3 but a swamp 10.
looks like a dude in a wig i always knew Tremblay was gay
Dizzy and sweating, I swipe out of the text thread only for my phone to buzz in my hand. It’s my mother.
I’m tempted not to answer, but I know she won’t leave me alone until she hears from me, so I try to clear the lump in my throat. Still, my voice cracks. “Hi, Mom.”
“Josephine! There you are! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning. I’m sittin’ here with your sister, and she showed me all this stuff about you online. Did you see it?”
I swipe a clammy palm over my forehead. “I just woke up.”
“Well, you better go wash your face because you need to see this!”
I squeeze my eyes shut at the sting. I don’t need to see it. I don’t want to. “No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“I don’t want to see what people are saying.”
She makes a sound of apology but then goes and digs the knife in deeper. “Well, I mean, you can’t be that surprised, can you?”
