Page 103 of Elite Player
It’s simply not possible to build a mansion with popsicle sticks and duct tape.
In the end, I decide it’s best to head to the airport to change my plane ticket and pay whatever fees I have to.
Notusing Nico’s money.
Bad enough to use him for this clown show of terror, I have to stop using his generosity too.
Now, I park in front of my parents’ house, glad to see all of the cars and people gone from the wake, except the one man I’ve resolved to stop using.
He stands from the stoop in front of the door and waits for me to exit the car with his hands in his pockets. He looks like an exhausted mess.
How I feel. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you I wasn’t leaving.”
I exhale a trembling breath. “I don’t know why. You have a game tomorrow, and you don’t need to be here.”
“I do. I need to be here with you. I love you, Jo.”
I sniffle. “I wish you would stop saying that.”
“Why?” He approaches me slowly, his hands out like he wants to hold me, but he eventually drops them back to his sides.
“Because I have too much—wehave too much to work through to say that to each other.”
He frowns, shaking his head as I speak, but I keep going.
“Don’t you get it? What we have, it’s built on a lie. We can’t keep going like this.Ican’t keep going like this.” I throw my arm out, vision blurry with tears. “My whole life basically fell apart this afternoon, and I can’t possibly figure out how to fix any of it right now. I need time to think about myself. I need to stop…” I wipe at my cheeks, blinking until I can see Nico clearly. Even in the darkness, I can tell his eyes are glassy. “I need to stop using you to fix my problems. I need to stop hiding behind you. I need to be honest with my family, myself,andyou. I can’t be what you want when I don’t even know what I want.”
He rubs his hand over his mouth and jaw. “You don’t want me?”
I find the courage I should have had back in my hospital room. “I need time to think.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I need you to go home. I need you to give me space and time.”
He sniffs, rubbing his eyes before clearing his throat and meeting my gaze. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“Please, Nico.”
It must be the desperation that changes his mind, because he eventually nods and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He taps on it a few times. “My ride will be here in a few minutes.”
I make my way to the stoop, sitting down, and he follows. I place my head on his shoulder. He holds my hand.
And we sit in silence, waiting until his car comes. Then he kisses the top of my head and walks to the curb. I watch as he curls his long body into his seat, saying something to the driver before turning to offer me a soft, sad smile.
Then he’s gone.
Inside my parents’ house, my mother is waiting at the dining room table for me. “Ishestill here?”
“No.”
She hums, annoyance in the sound. “Where have you been?”
I make my way to the corner of the living room, where I hid my bag. “Around.”
A chair scuffs behind me, and a few moments later, I hear her pad across the living room carpet. “I was scared for you.”
