Page 136 of Claim Me
"Follow the happiness, son."
I sigh.
"That’s… astonishingly profound," I mutter dryly. "I was expecting a bit more of a refined piece of life advice."
"And yet the simplest things are often the most valuable, smartass! That is the one lesson I’ve learned throughout my life. Sometimes I simply look at your dad, and that alone is enough. I’m happy. It doesn’t have to be complicated."
"I really have to go, Fa."
"Alright. Will you be here for the holidays?"
"I will. Take care."
I end the call and lean back against the wall. I do not know whether I can look at it that simply. Happiness can be deceptive. Endorphins followed by emptiness.
And yet his words about experimentation linger in my mind.
If I experiment with him, am I in truth experimenting on myself?
I guess I’ll see soon enough, because I’m already one step away from making the decision, from jumping into the abyss.
And I’m not even sure if I’d want to call it anexperiment, it sounds a bit soulless. Maybe I try, for the first time in my life, get involved… without looking at everything through laboratory glass?
Who knows.
Though I have to wonder, can anyone reallyescape their own habits?
GABRIEL
I dream.
In the dream, I see Marcel sitting at the edge of Blue’s pool, looking at me with that subtle smirk of his. "Are you cheating on me, Gabriel? Pursuing me wasn’t enough for you anymore?"
I feel stupid, all that comes out of my mouth is incoherent mumbling, and then suddenly Marcel’s face shifts into… Blue’s. "You have to choose, Gabriel. You have to make a difficult choice!"
And then I notice that beneath his feet there’s no pool anymore, just an abyss.
"That’s the path you were talking about, to the top, right? Always on the edge of falling."
Blue nods. "Yes, one wrong step and that’s it."
Then suddenly he leans forward slightly and slips off the edge, falling into the abyss.
"No!" I scream, reaching for him, but it’s too late.
I open my eyes.
"Blue!" I shout even after waking, the room filled with warm dim light. A figure moves nearby, leaning over me.
Warm, soft, small hands rest on my face, gently stroking it. "Shhh, it’s okay, you had a bad dream…"
I grab that hand and press a kiss to the back of it. "Please don’t go away, please, let me hold you…" I mumble, half-conscious, pulling him toward me.
I feel him move closer. "Please, just that, hold me, nothing more…" I whisper, almost pleading.
His warm, slight body settles against mine, and I wrap my arms around him tightly, pulling him in, burying my nose in his silky hair.
I fall asleep again, exhaustion winning over the arousal lingering just beneath the surface from the contact with Blue’s body.
