Page 174 of Claim Me
"You’ve always been single. So independent. Doesn’t it scare you that now you’ll basically be stuck to me?"
Blue stares at me for a moment as if he can’t believe what I just said.
"I’m a pragmatist, Gabriel! Do you really think I value my single status more than meeting my perfect match? I’ve had it for four decades. Time to sail into new seas."
I fall silent, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. Blue lifts his hand and gently brushes the side of my face.
"Gabriel, I told you, the life path I have lived for the last two decades was never my first choice. I learned to love it, yes, I convinced myself it was the best option for me. I built it meticulously. But making money and climbing the career ladder eventually lose their meaning once you reach the top and enter the top 0.001 percent of earners. And then what? Some desirepower, then more power… then they become bored and start to crave twisted, ugly things. But as for me, I’ve already achieved everything I wanted. There are still those new, unexplored areas that may come to me with… having you in my life. I’m always driven by curiosity, so I want to learn not only what it’s like to build a career, but… what it’s like to be in a relationship, what it’s like to create a family."
I stare at him for a while, trying to understand exactly how he sees this. This all sounds a little like another challenge to conquer, something to face in his life, another box to tick off the list.
"Like a research project?" I ask uncertainly. "An experiment?"
He glances at me briefly. There’s a subtle twitch across his face, like I struck a nerve. He hesitates.
"I know that’s how it sounds. But don’t take it as something devoid of emotion. It’s simply my approach to life, to everything. To learn, to understand, to experience new challenges."
Unsure what to answer, I observe him for a while. I have a question sitting at the tip of my tongue:what about love?Is that part of the experiment too? But I can’t find the courage to ask it.
Blue gazes into my eyes searchingly, perhaps via our Bond he senses I’m a bit uneasy.
"Now comes the next stage of my life, and I welcome it… with hope, Gabriel," his tone slightly celebratory.
His hand softly taps my chest as he sends me a reassuring smile. I exhale, feeling something squeeze in my chest.
He uses the Bond to gauge how I feel, but… it works both ways. I can also sense something subtle beneath the optimism. And now, as our souls have merged, I can read him very precisely.
Cautiousness and a bit of stress. Blue isoverwhelmed, but unwilling to admit it, even to himself.
He wants to treat it as just anotherchallenge to conquerand master, to make the prospect soundsafer, but he’s obviously unsure if this kind of challenge can so easily translate into another scientific test for him…
He stubbornly tries to view this asjusta new experiment; this is his way of coping with the shock of finding his TM and the upcoming revolution in his structured life.
Well, to be fair, this kind of pragmatic approachcanhelp with feeling overwhelmed. It creates distance and keeps emotions under control, yet… I wish he would just jump right into it.
But for now, I have to take what’s there, since, to be fair, I’m also a bit dazed by this discovery, and taking things pragmatically may be one way to handle it.
So what do I say now? Maybe something general and also positive?
"I never dreamed of a big career," I mutter, "but perhaps that’s exactly why we’re meeting now, when you’ve already achieved what you wanted, and we can connect at the stage where relationship and family are calling us. It’s something I’ve always dreamed about."
Blue nods, looking content.
My phone suddenly rings.
I glance at the screen. It’s Veyron.
"So, should I pull up to the marina at 9 pm?"
I check the time. It’s already past seven. I completely forgot our second day is almost over.
I glance at Blue. "Shit, I need to get to the helm and turn us back toward the port and marina. Veyron’s supposed to meet us there."
"Sure."
I head to the helm and set a new course.
"We should be there in about an hour and a half," I murmur to Blue, who watches me closely.
