Page 13 of Desk & Deception
The discomfort in my chest grew heavier with every moment of silence from my mother.
She finally let out a disappointed sigh. “You negotiate million-dollar deals for a living. I’m not sure how you managed to be this blind at home.”
A text came in, making a small ding sound. Putting my mom on speakerphone, I checked the notifications, my shoulders falling when I realized the message wasn’t from Lila.
Mom must have heard me pause. “What is it?”
“Just a text from Kaylee,” I muttered, staring at the message.
Kaylee
I had so much fun today. Thanks again for lunch.
Before today, I would have seen it as nothing more than a friendly note from a helpful paralegal. Now the casual tone and little smiley face landed differently. And then there was the way she referenced lunch like it had been something between us instead of just a work event that I hadn’t even arranged.
“A text from the paralegal who torpedoed your engagement? Outside of office hours?” Mom asked. “Let me guess, she wasn’t following up on a case.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “She wasn’t.”
“This isn’t the first time she’s texted you at night, is it?”
Anyone who thought I’d gotten my debate skills from my dad had never been grilled by my mom. “It’s not.”
The silence stretched between us before she sighed again. “My boy, it sounds to me like you kept asking your fiancée to be okay with things that would’ve bothered you if the roles were reversed.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering how I’d almost denied that very thing to Lila when she asked if I’d be okay with her calling another man her work husband.
My mom’s tone softened, but it didn’t soften the blow when she said, “You may have just done irreparable harm to the best thing that ever happened to you, sweetheart.”
I sat there, unable to speak.
“I love you, but right now you need to think long and hard about what you’ve done. I’ll talk to you later.”
After she ended the call, the silence pressed in from every corner. The house felt too hollow without Lila’s presence filling the spaces.
I set the ring on the coffee table in front of me and stared at the diamond I’d put on her finger when I promised forever. The happy tears she’d cried at my proposal were the complete opposite of the devastated ones that streamed down her cheeks tonight.
And I couldn’t help but worry that I’d already lost her for good.
7
LILA
After about thirty minutes of bawling my eyes out, I finally pulled back onto the street, my vision still blurred from crying. The tears had slowed to a steady stream instead of the violent sobs that had overtaken me when I first drove away from Reid’s house, but my hands still shook on the steering wheel, and my chest ached with every breath.
I was filled with disbelief, unable to wrap my head around the fact that I had just ended my engagement. I had taken off the ring and walked away from the man I had planned to spend the rest of my life with.
Grief followed right behind it, heavy and suffocating, pressing down until it felt like I might crack under the weight.
And beneath it all was doubt. I couldn’t help but wonder if calling off the engagement had been an overreaction. Gripping the steering wheel tighter, I reminded myself that the way Reid kept defending Kaylee wasn’t okay.
I couldn’t spend the rest of my life in a marriage where my feelings were minimized. Not even with the too-familiar voices creeping into my head. The ones I’d heard ever since I met Reid,telling me how lucky I was because men like him didn’t come around twice.
Stuff like that had been drilled into me since the day I introduced Reid to my family. I hated that it was echoing in my head now, when I needed to be strong. That part of me still wondered if they were right.
I couldn’t go home to my empty house right now, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. So I turned toward my parents’ home. It sat almost exactly between Reid’s neighborhood and mine, a convenient middle ground I didn’t stop at often.
But right now, it was the only place I could think to go where I might find someone to hold me while I fell apart. I knew I could call my best friend for support, but Kinsley was in Toronto for a movie. With the time difference, she’d be in the middle of doing makeup for the night shoot they had scheduled today. So I needed to wait to let her know what was going on.
