Page 103 of People In Love
I was going to tell you something, earlier, he says, still looking at her painting. They are not touching. And what would she do if they were; if he tilted her chin in his hand, like she did with him on the swings, a lifetime ago.
I’m not going to say it, now, he tells her, when he feels her tense at his words. But, and he clears his throat, drinks more whiskey, likes it better, this time round. All that I said, in my bedroom? That was … wrong of me. You neverhung on tome. Or if you did, I … wanted you to. So I didn’t mean it, and I’m sorry, Nora. I lashed out.
Nora makes a small, acknowledging noise. Sinks lower into the sofa bed, which is so comfortable, Bren thinks; like it’s still moulded to their bodies, him here, her there; chocolate stains on the cushions from their many shared packets of Minstrels.
I really did buy you a plane ticket, he says. I wasn’t joking, about that.
Seriously?
Yeah. For the both of us, back to Queenstown.
She thinks she’ll tell him he’s deluded; laugh at him, or worse, look like she feels sorry for him, all over again. But instead she sips more whiskey, keeps it in her mouth, before swallowing, then says, did you ever do that personality test? With the cube and the horse and the ladder? And when Bren shakes his head, she says okay, and shifts on the sofa to face him.
Picture a room, she says, any room.
This room?
Anyroom. Don’t be difficult.
I’m not!
Insidethat room is a cube, Nora says. Can you describe that cube to me, please? Whatever comes to mind.
So Bren does, after a moment. Sort of fish-tank sized, the kind you might get in the middle of a Chinese restaurant. And it’s opaque, made of concrete. Nora nods. Small, approving lift of her lip.
Next, she says, picture a ladder. Where is it, in the room, what does it look like?
He tells her.
And then a horse, she says, and once again he obliges. There’s more, Nora says, the weather outside, and something about a storm, but I don’t remember what those bits mean. We’d have to google it.
What do the first bits mean, then?
The size of the cube is your ego, Nora says, breaking into a proper smile as she taps into her phone anyway, to check. And the cube’s colour shows your true nature. Concrete? Impenetrable, I’d say. Hard to understand, or get through to.
I hate this game, Bren says, and Nora laughs, and it is his favourite sound, still, he realises. Drinks more whiskey.
The ladder represents your ambition, Nora goes on. You said yours was tall, and also far away, on the back wall, which I think means your goals are … lofty. Unattainable, maybe, or at least kind of hard to pin down.
I’m sensing a theme, Bren says.
But the important thing, here, Nora says, is the horse.
Okay?
The horse embodies your ideal partner, Nora says, and shekeeps her voice serene, even though she begins to blush, as ever. Scrolls on her phone, not looking at him.
Myhorse is dark brown, she says. And it’s usually lying down in the room, kind of grazing, even though there’s no grass.
Which means you’re attracted to lazy gluttons?
Whichmeans, she says, reading from her phone: I prize comfort and reliability above all else, and my ideal partner is calm and fully committed.
Silence, then.
Burn, Bren says.
No arguing with that, is there, Nora says, and she is keeping things light, as usual, they have always played and teased and jibed and not gone there with any real sincerity even though she is the most sincere of things to him, the only permanent fixture he has held on to and he never realised it or told her so he says, without dithering, that doesn’t change things, for me.
