Page 85 of When a Cowboy Falls Hard
She struggled to absorb what he was saying. “Am I the one that stirred it all up, then?”
“You did.” He let go of her hand and cupped her face. “And I don’t regret anything. Well, that’s not true. I regret I can’t be the man you and Tex need.”
“But what if you could beat the odds?” The minute the words popped out, she wanted them back. She was not going down that road.
“What if I can’t?”
And there it was. He’d convinced himself the stakes were too high. The game was over.
Chapter Thirty-One
The glow faded from Zinnia’s eyes. “I’d better go.”
Monty opened his mouth to protest. Closed it again. “Okay.”
When she left the bed, so did he. Putting on his sweats while she put on her nightgown, he walked her to the door and opened it for her. “Take care.”
“You, too.” She didn’t look at him. Likely she was crying.
Damned if he wasn’t fighting tears, too. He closed the door and stood there with his hand on the knob, his body cold and stiff, as if he was incased in a block of ice.
She didn’t start the truck right away. For one crazy second he thought she might come back. Then the engine sputtered to life.
He didn’t move until the sound of the truck was completely gone. Going back to the bed wasn’t an option, so he dropped down into the closest easy chair. He was still there when the birds woke him in the morning.
Over the next few days, he kidded himself that he looked and acted completely normal. Whenever a member of his family approached him, he met them with a big smile and talked about the weather.
So far nobody had tried to break through the invisible fence he’d erected, and he was grateful. He needed time, and they were honoring that.
He briefly considered talking things out with Adam. In the end he couldn’t see the point in baring his soul when it was still bleeding.
He’d convinced Zinnia to give up on him for her own good. He’d count that as a victory and move on. Somehow.
Staying busy kept her out of his head during the day, but the nights were hell. He’d forced himself to sleep in his bed because the chair was doing a number on his spine.
Although his back pain went away, Zinnia filled his dreams and he’d wake up with a hole in his heart he could drive a truck through. But he’d saved her, saved her and Tex. That was all that mattered.
At the two-week mark, not that he was counting, he woke in the pre-dawn hours with a start. Something wasn’t right. Lying in the dark, he listened for what might have broken into his sleep.
Nothing out of the ordinary. Crickets chirped and an owl hooted in the distance. Then his phone rang. Zinnia.
His heart pounding, he answered. “Are you okay?”
“Tex is gone.” She was breathing fast. “I think he went to find you.”
“Dear God. I’m on my way.” Leaping out of bed, he laid the phone down as he threw on his clothes. “How long has he?—”
“Not sure. He took brownies.” She gulped. “We’ve been driving the road, calling out, but he—I th-think he’s h-hiding.” Her voice shook.
He clamped down on his own terror so he wouldn’t add to hers. “Why?”
“Brownies. He wants to s-surprise you with brownies.”
“Hang tight. We’ll find him.” He started to disconnect, then paused. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Hurry.”
“I will.” He called Adam. “Tex apparently decided to set out alone to bring me brownies. I’m going over there to?—”
