Page 67 of Live Like There's No Tomorrow
Ben closed his eyes against the flash of anger that rose up at her words. “I wish you’d stop thinking like that. I wish you’d stop deciding what might be best for me. Do you really think that I’d be capable of celebrating right now?”
She shook her head sadly. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry. I’m really not trying to push you away. I think what it comes down to is that I want you to need me as much as I need you, but I’m scared that you won’t. So, I offer you another option, something else that you might want to do, rather than just say you don’t want to be with me.”
He looked deep into her eyes. “I understand the fear, but you need to get over it. You need to understand that there is nothing I would rather do, no one I would rather be with than you.” He reached across and stroked her cheek. “Please, don’t push me away anymore. We need to get through this together.”
She cupped his hand and pressed her cheek into it. “That’s what I want more than anything. Take me home?”
As he nodded, Ben understood what she was asking. It was time. Time for them to come together and not only face the pain of their past, but make a commitment to their future.
~ ~ ~
When they got back to the house, Charlotte went through to the kitchen and poured them each a glass of wine. They went to sit outside on the deck. It was dark now and a huge moon was rising over the lake. They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. Charlotte watched the moon as it rose in the sky. “You know, when I was a kid, I used to think the reflections of moonlight on the water were where it was still dripping.”
Ben turned and smiled at her. “Imagination is a wonderful thing when you’re a kid.”
“Yeah, it’s funny, when you’re a kid you imagine fun things, happy things, all the good things that can happen. When you grow up, you tend to see more of the bad stuff. You take what you’ve experienced and imagination seems to be limited by it, you can only imagine more bad stuff.”
Ben shook his head sadly. “You can still imagine good stuff, if you dare. It’s just that it’s harder to do it when you’re aware of the risks. When life has hurt you, you try to prepare yourself for more hurt. You think you can protect yourself somehow, but you can’t. Hard as it is, it’s better to put yourself out there and look for the good. Otherwise you risk missing out.”
Charlotte nodded. “That’s true. I guess we just have to be brave, don’t we?”
“We do.”
They returned to their silence. Charlotte let her mind drift where it wanted to go. She could see Emma and Jack’s smiling, happy faces and their adorable little Isabel. She could see Ben’s taillights pulling away down her grandparents’ driveway that last night before she left for Mexico. Angel’s face hovered before her eyes for a moment and then Alastair’s. “We’ve been through so much to get to this place where we are right now.”
Ben turned and met her gaze. “We have; there’s been so much pain and heartache. If there’s more of it to come, I don’t know what we can do to avoid it.”
“Me neither.”
“How brave do you feel?”
“Brave enough to jump right in with both feet. Brave enough to forget the past and embrace the future.”
“Then you feel as brave as I do. I don’t want us to take our time anymore, Charlie. We’re not getting any younger. I want us to move forward into a new life together. I feel as though we’ve been marking time. We had to deal with the past and figure out who and where we are in the present, but now it’s time we get started on our future.”
Charlotte leaned her head against his shoulder. “You’re right. I feel as though we’re finally back on the right path. We got off track and took this major detour for too many years. I don’t know why, but it feels as though little Isabel somehow gave us permission to move forward. I’ve been dreading her arrival, and today was hard, but somehow it feels like she’s telling us it’s time for a new beginning.” She looked up into his eyes and he nodded slowly.
“It does. Yes, seeing her brought its pain, but somehow it also brought me some peace.”
Charlotte blinked against the sting of tears. “A part of me still doesn’t want to feel any peace. I’ll never forget, never leave our child behind, but I do understand what you mean.”
Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “There is no way we’ll ever forget our little one. She’s a part of us and always will be. I think now we finally found our way back to each other, we need to live the hell out of every moment.”
Charlotte smiled at that. “I agree.” She rested her hand on his thigh. “And I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t start right now.”
Ben met her gaze. “Are you sure?”
“More sure than I’ve ever been of anything. We’ve avoided it because we both feel that making love to each other will cement our bond. Now we both know, we’re both clear that’s what we want. It’s time for us to move into our future, and that’s where our future starts.”
Ben stood up and offered her his hand. She got up and led him inside, straight up the stairs, and into her bedroom. Her heart was racing, her hands were trembling. The time was finally here. Physically she’d wanted him from the first moment she’d seen him again. They could have made love at any point since she’d been back and it would have been good, she knew it. But it wouldn’t have been everything, it wouldn’t mean what it did now.
Ben closed the bedroom door behind him and stopped just inside it. Charlotte took a step toward him and he rested his hands on her shoulders. “I love you, Ben,” she said as she untucked his shirt and pushed it up.
Ben pulled it up over his head and off. Then he got rid of her top. He unfastened her jeans and pushed them down while she wrestled with his buckle. In a moment, they stood before each other in their underwear. He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her deeply. Charlotte stepped closer and looped her arms up around his neck, pressing the full length of her body against him. He felt so good, his arms around her, his hard, naked chest pressed against her, his hard-on pushing at her through her panties. He lifted his head and looked down into her eyes. She took hold of his hand and pulled him down onto the bed with her.
When his lips came down on hers again, everything but the feel of him faded away. His hands moved over her; hers moved over him. His body was everything she remembered and more. Somehow her bra and her panties were gone. She stroked the palms of her hands over his broad, muscled back. He felt strong, reassuring, he was her rock. He always had been. He shifted his weight onto her, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at her. His eyes were so full of love. She drew in a deep breath as he moved his hips. She spread her legs wider and moaned as his hot, hard head pushed at her entrance. She braced herself for the thrust that she knew would come. Instead she moaned again when his fingers closed around her breast and he began to move against her. It felt so good, her nipple was tingling, tight and erect in response to his touch. She was getting wetter with each movement of his hips. His cock felt so good, but it was rubbing against her, not moving inside her. “Please, Ben. I need you,” she breathed.
He slid his hand down between them and tormented her clit. The way he stroked her, was taking her right to the very edge. He opened her up with his fingers and then she felt him push at her entrance.
