Page 4 of Irresistibly Us
“She did,” Maddy says, linking her free arm through mine. “I saw it myself. Every time Tyler flashed her the heart fingers he does after each one, she practically needed to be resuscitated.”
Of the six of us, Maddy and I were the only ones who were at the game earlier tonight. Maddy was there because, in addition to being the girlfriend of the Renegades’ starting center, she’s also the team’s Director of Sports Psychology and worked with the players in the hours before kickoff and after the game. I was there because whether it’s a regular season Sunday game in Pittsburgh or the Super Bowl in New Orleans, Tyler always saves one of his tickets for me, and in a tradition that goes all the way back to his pee wee football days, if there’s any possible way I can make it to one of Tyler’s games, I’m there.
Also, I love football. So there.
“I hate all of you,” I declare, draining my drink and setting it down on a passing server’s tray.
“No, you don’t,” Caitlin says, flicking her long brown hairbehind her shoulder. “You’re just a little pissy because the plastic women are hanging all over your man. You really should just go get him.”
I stare at her a little incredulously, because usually when Caitlin opens her mouth it’s to dispense some sort of sage wisdom or to solve a problem we didn’t even know we had. Not to tell me I’mbeing pissy. Even though, yeah, I kind of am. Unrequited love will do that to a girl. Apparently, I’m not the only one who notices Caitlin’s sudden personality transplant because Sarah, a med student, immediately puts her hand on Caitlin’s forehead, as if to check for a fever.
Caitlin shoves Sarah’s hand away. “What are you doing?”
Sarah studies her with a barely suppressed grin. “I’m checking to see if you’re sick.Just go get him, you say? That bordered on advising Sophie to do something spontaneous and unplanned. Spontaneous and unplanned usually gives you stress hives.”
“Oh, fuck off, it does not.”
“It does,” Maya adds. “After I had that string of bad dates last month and decided to get bangs as a consolation prize, you came over to my house with a handwritten list of twenty reasons why bangs were not the answer.”
Caitlin rolls her eyes. “Spontaneous bangs are never the answer. Every self-respecting woman knows that.”
“And when I wanted to fire that client who was annoying the shit out of me, you made me wait twenty-four hours, and it turned out I was just hungry and probably under caffeinated,” Emmy says with a grin. Emmy and Caitlin are both lawyers and associates at the law firm that my, Caitlin’s, Tyler’s, and Maddy’s moms all own together.
Caitlin shrugs. “What can I say? I’m in a weird mood tonight.” Her eyes stray to the dance floor, and I follow her gaze directly to Drew Ellicott, the Renegades’ tall and extremely gorgeous wide receiver who’s a good friend of both Tyler and Cam. I watch as Drew catches her eye and winksand, amazingly, Caitlin flushes. I didn’t know she could do that.
“Did he just…wink at you?” Maddy says incredulously, staring at Caitlin.
“No way,” Caitlin answers quickly, shaking her head vigorously, and it’s all verythe lady doth protest too much. Interesting. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Sophie and her inconvenient feelings for Tyler and when she’s going to finally get around to telling him.”
“Uh, that would be never.” My words are quiet, practically drowned out by the music’s throbbing base, but five heads turn my way in unison. I realize, belatedly, that this conversation is probably the first time I’ve explicitly admitted to my friends that I even have feelings for Tyler, even though it’s not exactly a secret.
“What do you meannever?” Sarah demands, tossing back the rest of her drink. “Never sucks. Never doesn’t get you laid, and never definitely doesn’t get you forever with the love of your life.”
Maddy studies me in that quiet way of hers, the laser lights that shoot across the ceiling playing over her face and making her red hair look like flames. “Forever is a long time to never say anything, Soph.”
I sigh, taking the drink out of Emmy’s hand and downing it. “It’s too complicated. Our families are so close we’re practically cousins.”
Maya shakes her head vigorously. “You are literally not cousins. There is not one single part of you that’s actually related to him.”
“But does it really matter?” I ask, looking at each of my friends.
“It might,” Caitlin says slowly. “It really, really might.”
I shake my head. “Come on this journey with me, besties. So, I tell Tyler I have feelings for him. I tell him that one single moment three years ago flipped a switch for me, and all of asudden, I stopped seeing him asfriend Tylerand started seeing him asman I want to fuck and also person I’m accidentally ass over tits in love with Tyler. Option one is he tells me he doesn’t feel the same way, and I lose one of my very best friends and quite possibly tear a hole into the fabric of our family and make it weird and awkward for everyone while we figure out how we can be around each other after I spilled my guts. Option two is we date or whatever and things don’t work out. I lose my best friend, and our family has to pick sides, except it’s worse because maybe we’ve kissed and oops, we’ve accidentally seen each other pretty naked, and there’s just no unringing that bell. Either way I lose, and so do you guys. So does the rest of our family. It’s not worth it.”
“You’re forgetting option three.”
I look at Emmy, trying to figure out what option three could possibly be. “What’s option three?” I finally ask.
She snorts out a laugh. “He feels the same way about you, and you live happily ever after, sexed up and wildly in love with one of your very best friends, and everything is amazing about everything because now our weird, chaos-ridden, and extremely convoluted family tree has another intertwined branch.”
“Nope.” I say it with an air of finality, even though the thought of it makes my stomach feel like it’s filled with glitter. Tyler and me. A future.Love. It’s not like I haven’t considered it. I have. I’ve been considering it for years, and sometimes the wanting is like torture. But the risk to our family and our friendship is too enormous to comprehend.
I’d rather have Tyler the way I already do than not have him at all.
“It’s too risky you guys. I just…I can’t.”
Maddy links arms with me again, leaning her head against mine. “We want what you want, Soph. If you want that man, we’ll figure out a way to get him for you. And if you just want to forget about it, we’ll devise a strategy to help you get over him. And by we, I mean Caitlin.”
