Page 113 of Irresistibly Us
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
SOPHIE
“Morning is such bullshit,” I mutter, taking the last sip of the most perfect coffee on earth and tossing it into the trash can right at the entrance to the security checkpoint in the airport terminal. Turning to Tyler, I wind an arm around his waist and lay my head on his chest, right over his heart, memorizing its beat. “Thank you for making the coffee. If I had to caffeinate at six in the morning with airport coffee, there’s no way I would make it.”
I’m already hanging on by a thread as it is. For some stupid reason, MasterLab booked me on a seven a.m. flight out of Pittsburgh, so in addition to the sadness twisting my stomach into knots at the idea of leaving Tyler, my brain is a muddled mess because I do not thrive in early mornings.
Tyler knows me well, though, because when my alarm went off earlier this morning, the shower was already on and heated up, ready for me to step in, and there was a cup of coffee on the shower bench out of the way of the water. While I was in the shower, he laid my clothes out for me, made sense of my chaotic half-packed suitcase and finished the job, packed up my carry-onbags, and had a second coffee in a to-go cup ready for the car. And for every second of the morning, he’s been touching me in some way. A hand on my back or one on my leg. Our fingers linked or his arm around my shoulder. As if he needs to keep a part of him connected to a part of me at all times, to make up for the two days where we won’t have any connection at all.
It makes me both happy and sad at the same time.
I love him so goddamn much.
Tyler takes my bags from me, setting them on the floor at his feet and laying his hands on my cheeks. “There is no way I would send you off to face an early morning with subpar caffeine. I’m pretty sure that’s in the boyfriend rulebook.”
Smiling, I turn my head to press a kiss to his palm. “Oh yeah? What else is in that rulebook?”
He leans in and kisses my forehead, lingering there the way he does so often. “Keep you fed. Make sure your Dr Peppers are appropriately iced. Buy the bulk bags of jelly beans so you never run out. Replace the ChapSticks in all your bags so you always have one when you need it. Do your laundry so your favorite pajamas are always clean. Tell you one hundred times a day that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life and sometimes when I look at you, I can’t breathe. Make sure you know I’m the luckiest man in the world to get to call my best friend, Sophie Sullivan, mine. Love you way, way out loud, in the biggest, most obnoxious way I can so you forget about all the years before now when I didn’t realize I did.” His eyes go soft, and he leans his forehead against mine. “And miss you. Miss you so goddamn much and count the minutes until I get to see your face again.”
Ask me to stay, my head begs him as his lips meet mine in a kiss laced with love and longing and happiness and sadness twined together because we’re here together but there might be a time soon when we’re not and my brain can’t make sense of that reality.Tell me not to take the job.Not even to go see what it’s all about because there’s a chance I might love it and want it and thatwill take me away from you.And I really, really don’t want to be away from you.Please, please, please just ask me to stay.
But of course, he doesn’t. Because Tyler isn’t that guy. He’s the guy who will tell me he loves me and we’ll figure it out no matter what. The guy who wants what’s best for me, even if that takes me away from him. The best guy in the world, and the thought of walking away from him right now and getting on that plane is more than my tired brain can grasp.
I want to be my bright and shiny self. I want to see this opportunity for what it is—a move that could change my life for the better in more ways than one. But I can’t do any of those things because this fucking sucks, and there’s no good way around it. Also, I’m really, really tired because fuck morning flights. Not respectfully.
“I love you so much, and I really hate this,” I say, tightening my arms around his waist.
“Soph,” Tyler says quietly, tipping my chin up so my eyes meet his, so I see the love and sadness swimming in the beautiful blue. “I hate it too, but I’m so proud of you, and I love you a million. Three thousand, actually,” he says with a grin and a wink, referencing the line Iron Man’s daughter says to him inAvengers: Endgame. We watched it the other night because my parents are huge Marvel fans and were both shocked that Tyler and I had never seen it.
Laughing, I press a hand to his chest, over the steady beat of his heart. “It was just okay, right?”
“Definitely just okay territory,” he says with a grin. “Superheroes will not be replacing our rom-coms anytime soon. Give me Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox over Captain America and Black Widow any day. Don’t tell your parents, though. They’ll be horrified.”
Smiling, I wrap my arms around his waist again. “I should probably go, but I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.”
Tylers hugs me tight, kissing the top of my head. “So, let’s not do that. You’ll be back in a few days. We’ll pretend it’s thetenth and do the most epic birthday night of our lives, and you can tell me every amazing thing the MakerLabs people said to you so I can be proud of you all over again. Then I’ll give you all the updates on your house, since I should have a bunch by the time you’re back. I’m channeling the fact that I’m going to miss you desperately into very manly construction.”
“Manly construction?” I ask with a wry grin.
He grins back, and the way it lights up his whole face makes my chest feel like it’s filled with air. “More like paint colors and carpet samples, which I honestly like better than messy demo and all that other shit. But it’s getting close.”
I wrinkle my nose. “No rush on that.”
Tyler beams at me. “Are you telling me you like living with me, Sophie Sullivan?”
I shrug casually, even as everything inside me screamsYES. “I mean, you always make my clothes and my towels smell really good, and you give good snuggles at night, and your pancakes are to die for. Living with you does not suck, Ty.”
He boops me on the nose, and I don’t know why I find that so unbelievably charming. “Maybe when you’re back we can discuss a more…permanent living situation.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Permanent meaning together?” I ignore the little clench in my heart because, depending on what happens tomorrow, there might not be a permanent together living situation in our cards.
Tyler kisses my forehead, then each of my cheeks, ending with my lips. “I mean, I’ve gotten used to your morning grumpiness, and like I said, I love your stuff all over my house because it means you’re there. I really, really like when you’re there, Sophie.”
Smiling a little, I lean into him. “I really like when I’m there too.” Glancing at the clock on the wall by the security line, I wince. “I think I better go.”
I feel Tyler nod and swallow hard, the hands on my back shaking just a little before he opens and closes them in succession,and my stomach hurts because I know he’s anxious and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it. “When you get on the plane, check your pink bag. I put some surprises in there for you.”
Leaning back, I study him. “What surprises?”
