Page 80 of A Spark So Bright
When he saw the first sliver of blue light in the canyon they stood in, he felt immense relief. They'd made it. They had gotten out of that pit and that meant he hadn't failed her. Sure, he'd gotten her into the situation, but he at least had gotten her out as well.
Gunnar reached for her hand, so small in his own and not even hesitating to touch him now. Rose flashed him a small smile, one that barely tilted her lips up at the corners, and he felt like his entire world had burst open with the sun.
She could smile at him now. She'd even laughed, although neither of them wanted to admit that, in fear that maybe they would ruin the moment. She was healing faster than he had ever thought she could, but maybe she had been right. Rose had been healing this whole time, and they had all thought she’d just been drowning in sorrow.
"Ready?" she asked as she turned to look at him.
The canyon led up to a small cliff. Once he stepped out of this canyon, they were back in the real world. And sure, it hadn'tbeen all good things after they fell. Actually, it had mostly been bad. But still. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back to the real world when he had gotten a glimpse at what life would be like if it was just the two of them.
"Ready," he said, although even he could hear the reluctance in his voice.
He held her hand in his, and together they exited the canyon and headed back into Trollveggen.
It wasn't like they had been gone that long. He was sure it had only been a few days, but it still somehow felt like they had been gone for weeks. So when they wandered through the streets toward the barracks, all he could think was that it was strange no one was excited to see them. No one was even worried about them.
A few trolls who recognized them of course said hello, but there were no worried expressions or people rushing toward them asking where they had been.
And none of them knew what they had gone through. None of them knew that he'd been poisoned or that she was doing her best to crawl out of the pit she had been placed in. All he could do was look at them wondering why none of them saw the ordeal they had both been through painted all over their bodies and faces.
Rose tugged on his hand, drawing him closer to the barracks all on her own. "Come on," she said. "I'm exhausted and would very much like to sleep in my own bed."
Then he was flooded with images of sleeping with her. Not sex. But holding her, as he had wanted to do in the cave. Clutching her to his chest so that he knew she was right here with him and not back in that cave with all the black sunder trying to get to her.
"I could..." He cleared his throat. They had made it to the front doors of the barracks, and he knew if he didn't say thisnow, he wasn't going to be able to get the words out. "I could stay the night with you, if you'd like? I know what we went through was rather... um... shocking."
Please,he thought.Please let me stay with you.
He wasn't above begging, he supposed. He didn't want to push her, this wasn't about that. He just wanted to know that she was alive.
Rose's cheeks turned a pretty bright red that made his heart race. What was she thinking? Was she going to say yes? He had to wipe his hands on his dirty pants because sweat started making his palms so slick. He wanted to stay with her and he hoped to every single god that she understood why.
Rose took a deep breath, and he could see the nerves running through her entire body. It broke his heart. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable with the suggestion, he could let it go. He should wash anyway and then go right back to the bunks in the barracks with all the others.
"I'd like that," she said. "If you don't mind me being a little uncomfortable. I haven't... beds might be hard."
He could understand that. Always would.
So he followed her like a lost puppy, trailing along behind her with his heart in his hands. She was just everything he'd ever hoped and dreamt for, and she had no idea how much it meant to him that she could trust him this much.
Calming his breath as much as he could, he followed her to her bedroom in the barracks. His bedroom. The one he had given her in the hopes that having her own space would make this transition a little easier for her.
Of course now he was a little frozen. He stood in the doorway, uncertain if he should come inside or wait for her to ask him in. Maybe she needed to give him permission. Perhaps it would help if he allowed her to invite him.
"You don't have to lurk," she said, heading over to the small dresser in the corner. "I'm going to wash. You should probably do the same."
Right. Clean. They were both covered in grime from the caves, algae from the water that was slowly dying now that it was exposed to the open air, and who knew what else. They hadn't exactly been on a relaxing adventure, and he reeked.
Gunnar headed out of the room without another word. He got his things from the barracks where he usually slept and made quick work of cleaning himself in the bathing house. Or maybe it wasn't quick at all, he couldn't remember. But he had the faintest memory of standing there staring at the wall while hot water rushed down over his head.
She had said he could stay the night with her. He could not fuck this up.
By the time he'd gotten back to his private room, he was so tied up with nerves that it was by miracle at all that he opened the door and walk inside. And then he was frozen in the doorway again, standing there like a dolt because there was a vision in front of him.
She'd changed into a simple white nightgown. It was thick material, likely cotton that someone had stolen from the human kingdom, so it wasn't like it was see through or even tantalizing in any way that troll clothing might have been. But she'd pulled her pale hair over one shoulder and was slowly brushing it. Wet, tangled hair that had seen better days. A nest, like he had called it many times before.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, brushing her hair, he had a vision of what he wanted every night to look like from now on. Every single night he wanted to walk in here and see her brushing her hair. He wanted to see the softness in her expression, the way her shoulders were rounded forward not in fear, but in relaxation.
He had never dreamt of a moment like this. A wife had always been someone in his mind that he'd sexualized. A beautiful woman who made him hungry with a single glance. He'd never thought that his troll bride would be someone who made him feel comfortable. Yes, he was attracted to Rose. He wasn't insane. But he didn't want to pounce on her and ravish her. No, he wanted to hold her, to cherish her and this strange fluttering feeling in his chest.
