Page 91 of A Spark So Bright
"We don't have to do this," he said. "It's rushing things. I know you might not be ready for this moment, and in truth, I don't want this to be a situation we’re forced into because other people told us to do so. It's not fair to both of us. So if you want to put it aside, I am more than willing to do so. We'll lie."
"I don't want to lie."
"I know you don't like telling untruths, Rose, but this is a very good reason to do so."
She smiled at him and shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I think this is a very good idea for the two of us to do. I like you, Gunnar. More than that, honestly. I think there aren't really words for how tied I am to you."
He released a long sigh. "Because of how we met."
"Because you saved me. You saw through all the terror and the heartbreak and my feeling that the world had ended. You showed me that I had the time to put together all those shattered pieces and that you weren't going to judge me for how long it took to find them again. You made me feel like a woman for the first time in ages." She stepped closer to him, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her dress. "And because I think I would like to know more about these soft touches that I see everyone else giving each other."
"I don't want you to fear me, Rose," he said quietly. "And I don't know how to help you not do that. You've been through so much."
"I have." She took a deep breath and steadied herself. "But this is a choice I get to make for myself this time."
She nudged the fabric off her shoulders. All the silk fell down her arms, caught at her breasts, once again at her hips, andthen pooled at her feet in a puddle. She stood there before him, entirely bare, and for the first time she had the fear that he might not want her.
At least until she heard the gusty bellow of air that he released while staring at her with wide eyes. As though she had suddenly become a goddess who had stepped out of the sky for him to see.
"Rose," he breathed.
And then they stood there. Staring at each other for a little while.
She wasn't sure who moved first. She thought it might have been him. Suddenly he was standing right in front of her, his fingers trailing over her collarbone and then down her sternum between her breasts.
"The first time I saw you, I could see your bones here," he murmured. "I remembered fearing that if I touched you, you would shatter apart with a single brush of my fingers."
"And now?" she breathed.
"Now all I see is how beautiful you are," he whispered. "Now I see how strong you are, and how capable you have become. I see a woman who has accepted my world and my culture with ease, and one who has never looked down on me for being different. I am constantly in awe of you, Rose."
She took a deep breath. Because maybe he was right. Maybe she was more than she had been when he’d first found her.
"Gunnar." The word was filled with everything she wanted to say. He had to know it, but she wanted to actually say it. "I didn't think I was capable of being a normal person until, well, until you gave me the space to realize that I could be. That no matter how hard my life was, I wasn't broken because of it."
"Of course you aren't."
She took his hand in hers, staring down at the massive black claws that had once terrified her. But now they grounded her.They proved to her that he was exactly who she thought he was, even when she closed her eyes. He could chase away all those thoughts because he didn't feel like any of those men.
Opening her eyes, she pressed his palm to her breast, feeling the heat of him, the power, the sensation of his claws against her skin. And she wasn't afraid. She didn't even feel a hint of fear, even when his fingers flexed against her skin and he swallowed so hard she could see his throat move with the force of it.
"I love you," she said, her voice ringing clear and true. "I think I've loved you for a very long time. And it's strange to even consider, because I didn't believe I could love anyone again. You are as steady and as enduring to me as a stone in the middle of a raging sea. A shield between me and the world, and I... I should have known how much I loved you a long time ago. I'm sorry it took me so long to come to terms with it."
He surged forward, and their lips met. A pressing, nearly violent need that bloomed between the two of them as he devoured her lips. She pressed herself to his chest, and there was no fear, no ache in her chest because she was so certain that he wasn’t going to hurt her. It wasn’t even a question.
Gunnar's hand scooped up through her hair, holding her head in place for his kiss that consumed her. She burned from the inside out, the sensation only barely sparking in her memory from when she'd been a teenager, just before pledging herself to the order of priestesses, and when she had first kissed a boy she'd liked.
A pressing, burning need between her thighs that ached to spread for him seared through her. She wanted to feel the weight of him between her thighs, pressing her down into the soft moss while his claws brushed through her hair.
Gunnar drew back, peppering kisses across her face as he said, "I have loved you every day for a hundred days, and evenmore than that. And I will love you until the day I die and beyond, into whatever waits for us."
"Swear it."
"I vow it, troll wife," he groaned against her lips, drawing her to the ground with him.
"I want to see you," she said against his mouth, even as his hands moved down her sides. They knelt together on the moss, breathing hard, staring at each other for a moment until he furiously whipped his shirt off over his head. When he paused with his hands on his buckle, she only licked her lips and replied, "All of you."
He arched a brow, and off came the pants as well. Though he struggled a bit when he had to stand, and the hopping motion he made to get his pants off was most unbecoming and made her laugh.
