Page 36 of A Spark So Bright
So Rose did what she had become so good at. She lied.
"I was wandering." She heard herself say the words, so convincing it was almost as if that was the truth of what had happened. "I blinked, and I was standing with the others. I'm sorry."
Watching him sag in relief only made her angrier. And then she realized where all the anger was coming from.
She'd been stuffing it so deep inside herself that she couldn't feel it. Repeatedly jamming rage into some secret place that was now full. All the anger was spilling out, and there wasn't anywhere else to put it.
She felt like she could explode at any moment, all of it bubbling up, filling her chest cavity and threatening to explode out of her throat.
Words like,You don't believe that I can make decisions for myself. Or perhaps something along the lines of,You think I am weak and fragile, but I have survived more than you could dream of.
But she didn't say any of that. Because another part of her was relieved right along with him. She'd had her rebellion. Rose had walked into this clearing when no one else had expected herto do so. She'd been brave and strong, just like the other troll maidens who had made their declaration of interest.
Now it was harder to be brave. Staring him in the eyes, not knowing how to tell him that the thought of losing him terrified her just as much as the thought of staying with him. So she kept her mouth shut and clung to the anger that made her face feel hot.
"Come with me," Gunnar said, waving his hand in the air for her to follow him. "We'll speak with the king. He will make an exception in this case. We all know you well, and this is simply a mistake. It's an easy fix."
Was it?
It didn't feel like an easy fix. The bridal games seemed ceremonial in a way that was almost holy to these people. Rose had either made a mockery of it by choosing to use this as a moment to show that she wasn't, in fact, some fragile little doll or she was a fool who had lost her mind and was still somehow desecrating what was clearly an emotional moment for everyone but herself.
Well, she was emotional. But perhaps for the wrong reasons.
The king was still beside the dais as a few of his attendants worked on gathering his wings. They were almost folding the thin membranes in their arms, like fabric or... moth wings, Rose realized. All of her anger drained out of her as she stared at those strange appendages attached to his back.
He looked like he was in pain. All the time. As though the weight of those appendages pulled him toward an early grave.
"Your majesty," Gunnar said loudly. "A word, if I may."
King Egil looked up, and Rose had the same thought she always did when she looked at the troll king. He had kind eyes in a face that was not kind at all. The scars that decorated his features were enough to send anyone running for the hills.
And the moment his gaze locked onto hers, she wanted to run. She wanted to disappear into her own realm and even tried, but she couldn’t. A block in her mind existed so she couldn't escape, no matter how hard she tried.
It was like she was locked in her body, and that sensation was enough to make her heart nearly explode in her chest.
Gunnar was already talking, though. "She was wandering, Your Highness. She has no reason to be in the games."
"The rules are very clear, Gunnar. She's part of the games now. No one is going to make her marry anyone. You know this as well as I do. What harm is there if she participates in a little fun?" The king gestured for Gunnar to follow him. "There are more important matters for you and me to talk about."
"Your Highness, I am begging you to allow her to not take part in these bridal games. She made a mistake. We should all be allowed to make mistakes."
Rose could almost hear desperation in Gunnar's tone. He really, really didn't want her to take part in this. And just like that, the little flame in her chest burst into heat again.
How dare he? How dare he think for even a second that she didn't deserve to be part of it just as much as the others?
And she swore King Egil saw right through her soul into what she was thinking. He paused, his attendants standing still behind him, four of them with his wings in their arms. He stared at her, really stared, boring through her head into her mind where she feared he would see too much of her.
"Do you want to take part in these bridal games?" the king asked quietly.
She didn't have an answer.
Rebellion burning in her chest because she had just lost the one person who had never lied to her. Only to realize that her entire world had tilted on its axis because Rhydian had, in fact,lied. And now she was going to lose Gunnar, the only person who had made her feel safe since leaving, and it was all...
A lot.
It was a lot.
The king gave a sharp nod and then turned to look back at Gunnar. "She stays in the games. Now, come with me."
