Page 35 of A Spark So Bright
Now her sister was tugging on her arm again, this time a little more forcefully as Astrid asked if they needed to leave. And no, they didn't need to leave. Because Rose wasn't a child for her sister to watch over. She was still here, wasn't she? Rose could have killed herself countless times after being liberated and living in Trollveggen.
But she was alive. Didn't that make her stronger than they thought she was?
So when King Egil had started talking, when he’d gestured for people to come down off the stands if they were interestedin someone who stood below them in the clearing, her mind had splintered.
She’d watched all those beautiful, strong, powerful troll women who were whole and sane and real step down onto the moss, and all she could think was that one of them was going to take her life from her. Not the breath in her lungs, but comfort from the only person who had never pushed her. No wife would allow Gunnar to coddle her the way he did. No one would be happy with him wasting so much time and effort on a woman they all thought was insane.
Her feet had moved on their own. She'd shrugged out of Astrid's grasp with surprising ease, likely because her sister didn't think she could move that fast, and then headed out onto the clearing.
That first step, when her bare feet had connected with the cool, squishy moss, she’d known this was the right choice. It was like a voice whispered into her ear that she was moving in the right direction. This was where the mountain had wanted her to go.
Rose pulled her hood back a little. Enough so that if people were looking at her, they would recognize her. She had no idea what the next step would be, but she knew she wasn't going to run from it. Not this time.
She could be quiet and small, but that didn't mean she had to be afraid.
The troll maiden on her right was slighter than the rest. Her body was less muscular and more willowy, like a sapling that hadn't filled out yet. She met Rose's gaze with a soft smile and said, "I wondered when you might wake up."
"Do I know you?" Rose asked.
The woman shrugged. "Maybe. In another life, I think."
Then she turned and wandered away. Rose watched as the stranger headed into the trees, perhaps not participating afterall. Her body blended in among the newer, younger trees. Gray in the distance, they were almost the same color as the woman's body before she was gone from Rose's sight.
Strange. But this whole place was always so strange, no matter how long she was here. Trollveggen was full of surprises and unusual findings. She was lucky to be here, but also, sometimes, it made her wonder how little she knew.
"Congratulations to all of you!" King Egil shouted, his voice warm and clearly pleased that the crowd before him was so large. "Competitors, feast your eyes upon those who are interested. Let your minds wander through dreams tonight and ask your ancestors for the guidance to learn who walks the same path as you. Soon enough, you will be called again, and those who are interested? You will state your interest so your competitor may guide their performance to better capture your heart and mind."
How exciting. Rose wasn't sure what that meant, but she knew she was in it now.
This risky, reckless behavior wasn't like her, but maybe that was what she needed right now. Maybe she needed to not be herself for a little while.
Was this taking advantage of a situation? Absolutely. She was thinking with anger, and she knew that. But she was here.
Rose glanced over at Gunnar, knowing that she wouldn't like what she found when she did get her attention on him. For the first time since they had met, she could see that he was also angry. Fuming, in fact. His face was a darker green than his usual emerald color, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides.
She'd seen him almost fight that other troll, and she still couldn't hazard a guess at what that had been about. Probably something ridiculous, but it was very out of character for the troll warrior she knew. Gunnar was always so careful with hisemotions. She never had to wonder what he was going to do or what erratic behavior might burst out of him.
Gunnar was as steady and as calm as a still lake. Funny. Humorous. Always dancing with the sparkling light of a bright soul at the edge of her vision.
As soon as the king lowered his arm, many people in the clearing headed toward each other. She could already see the pairings that were wanted. So many of them went straight for the person they were interested in. The beelines they made were almost comically fast.
At least until Gunnar made his way toward her, and then she remembered that there was a troll who was very, very angry at her for being here.
He never touched her, though. He never grabbed her arm like Astrid had or tried to move her with his hands. No, he knew she didn't like that. Gunnar used his body like a wall, forcing her to back up lest she choose to touch him.
Rarely did he dare to push her like this, and it was almost thrilling. As terrifying as it was exciting to see him moving her backward with just a look and his body until they were far from the others. A false sense of privacy fell like a veil between them and everyone else in the clearing.
"What are you thinking?" he hissed. "You should not be here."
"I was listening to the king."
"No," he groaned, running a hand down his face. "Rose, tell me you did not willingly enter this. You were wandering. That's all you could have possibly been doing. You were lost in thought like you usually are, and then I can tell the king that you don't want this."
Did she want someone to think that? She was standing right in front of him, and he wasn't even thinking about the reality that she would only have gone into that clearing if she wasinterested. Just like the rest of them. She had been told to stand up if she wanted someone, and she... did.
Strange. Maybe she'd only done it to protect herself. She hadn't prodded at the why just yet. Not enough to understand her own actions well enough.
And she didn't like making him mad. He was so angry, practically vibrating with it even though she was confident he would never turn that anger onto her. She trusted him. She'd promised that she would trust him to keep her safe, even if there was always going to be a part of her that was waiting for the moment he'd lift a hand in anger.
