Page 32 of Secrets of the Void
"Fine. If you want to move to a facility with less use, then we will do that. But it is not me making this choice."
She turned away from him, waiting until Pilot was done downloading all the information he would need on the next leg of their journey, and then headed to her pod.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"We're going into the deep sea. There is nothing else that can protect me from the pressure other than the pod. I will attach myself to it once more, and when we reach our next destination, you can wake me." She sounded so brave when she said that, but he could see the hesitation in her. She glanced over at him as she said it, and then he swore he heard her murmur, "I hope you wake me, at least."
This was supposed to be his apology to her. He was supposed to show her the sea, to show her all the things that might have once terrified her. He was going to prove to her that they weren't terrifying.
That he wasn't terrifying.
"Do you have to be asleep inside it?" he blurted, the words hanging between them.
He could hear his own hope, and it made him want to cringe in horror. There was no hope to be found here. Proteus was a god who could order her to do whatever he wanted. He should not care that she deserved to see more than this, and yet... he did.
He hated that he had hurt her. That was all it was. He felt guilt for the first time in his life, and that was why he wanted to prove to her that he wasn't the monster she thought him to be. Even if she said she didn't see him as a monster.
"I don't," she replied, drawing the words out. "Do you wish me to stay awake?"
"I want you to see the journey. To see the ocean as I do, and to understand all that we are protecting." That was it. He just wanted to give her another reason to help him.
She opened her mouth, closed it again, and then nodded. "All right."
Pilot hopped in with her, muttering how he wasn't going to get all his circuits rusty again all because they got it in their head that this facility wasn't good enough. The droid could complain all he wanted, but the truth was that they had outgrown this place. There weren't enough hunting grounds to provide food for Ellie. The depth would make it difficult for them to access the surface world, and they needed to be able to do that. Drones took forever to come back to their facility, and even then, sometimes the pressure or the icy cold prevented it from happening at all.
They did, in fact, need to move. He was just using it also as an excuse to sweeten her mind toward him.
As soon as the lid closed on her pod, he lifted it up into his arms. He was careful not to loom over her as he had when he'd attacked her. He was certain that memory was not one she wanted to think of while enclosed in a small space she could not easily leave. Then he turned the viewing window away from himself, so she could see where they were going.
"All right?" he asked as he squirmed his way toward the opening.
Dragging the pod seemed unnecessarily loud and would likely damage it. So, he had to figure out how to move his massive body across the floor while still holding onto something in his arms. It was no easy feat.
"We're fine," she replied. Her hand pressed against the lid, and for a frozen moment he thought she was trying to open it. But she was just stabilizing herself as it rocked back and forth.
It looked like she was standing. With her hands braced on the clear glass, and a determined expression on her face, she was a woman who was ready for anything to happen.
Even if that was the pod shattering into smithereens under the pressure of the sea.
He sent out a silent prayer as his tail hit the water and he drew her into the icy cold. Perhaps if he warned the sea goddess that Ellie would be at risk, then the sea would look favorably upon the both of them. He was, after all, her favored son.
He could feel the currents gently wrapping around him, careful even with her pod as the sea peered through the clear glass to look at Ellie. He felt deep in his bones the rightness of this moment. As though the goddess of the water approved of his choice.
"Still alive?" he asked quietly, his voice slicing through the current as he headed away from the facility.
"I'll be fine once you position me better. If you don't mind, could you flip my pod over?" He could hear the stress in her voice, and immediately did what she asked.
There was a faint thump, and then he could see what the issue had been. By turning her away from him, he'd pressed her against the lid, rather than the comfortable backing of the pod. Now that she was facing him, she was technically looking up toward a surface she could not see. Her back rested against the soft cushion that usually supported her while she slept.
He tried not to stare down at her face, knowing it would make her feel awkward. He certainly felt that way. Because every time he did happen to glance at her, she was staring up at him. Looking right at his face.
At some point, he could almost feel her gaze like a physical touch, running down his neck to his pectorals. No, between his pectorals. She was looking at the shadow of his twin hearts, revealed by the glowing lights of his rib cage. She stared straight through him, seeing the rapid heartbeats that always seemed to speed up when she was around.
"What are you looking at?" he asked as he sped them toward the surface. It would take a long time to get there, so he might as well ask.
"You. I haven't really gotten to look you over, and I figure this is as good a time as any."
"What are your thoughts, Sisu?" He couldn't stop himself from asking. He wanted to know what she thought of his body that was not just different from hers, but from any of his people's as well.
