Page 33 of Color Me Broken
Tiffany’s head snapped toward her. “Tash?—”
“What? I. I—I can’t Tiff. I just can’t. I can’t, I can’t do it. I… I … I?—”
“Okay… calm down, you don’t have to,” Tiffany said quietly. “Not yet.”
Doctor Madison nodded. “That’s your choice. But you shouldn’t carry this alone.”
Tasha squeezed Tiffany’s hand tighter. “I’m not.”
But even as she said it, she knew everything was about to change.
Her future. Her body. Her plans.
And the hardest part? She had to go home and look Juelz in the eyes like nothing was wrong…
while her whole world was cracking open.
Shyann had finally called Tasha back and wanted to meet up to grab a bite to eat. So, Tasha agreed. She sat at the booth, sipping water but wanting something much stronger. Shyann came strolling in like she was the number one best friend in the world. But she wasn’t. She was everything but such. She slid into the seat across from her, sunglasses on, fake casual.
Tasha stared dead at her. “Took you long enough to finally call me back. What the hell you been doin’? I thought we talked about you going ghost when we need you.”
Shyann sighed, taking her shades off. “Girl, I know we did. I've been busy. You know how it is. Family shit, and my mom's been tripping hard on me.”
“Yeah, you right. I do know howyouare,” Tasha replied.
Shyann took a swig of her drink. “Where you comin’ from lookin’ all down and shit.Ewww!”
Tasha exhaled, looking down at the table. “Humm…I went to the doctor. I had to go in for my follow-up.”
Shyann froze, squinting her eyes. “You okay. What happened?”
“You know me and Juelz have been tryna get pregnant. But it don’t ever happen. So lately I been havin’ some weird symptoms, so I wanted to check it out.” Tasha sipped her water, then set the glass back on the table. “So today… Dr. Madison told me…I have ovarian cancer. My chances of becomin’ a mother are very slim now.”
Shyann's face went blank, not from the shocking words. But from zoning out. Like somebody had muted her.
“Can’t conceive?” she said out loud, finally. She didn’t even mention the cancer diagnosis. All she saw now was how she could use that information to her advantage.
Tasha nodded once. “Yeah, that’s what he said.” She gave a weak little laugh that didn’t belong anywhere near the moment. “Crazy, right? I went in thinkin’ they finna tell me I was too stressed or some regular shit. Came out with a whole surgery schedule. Ain’t that some shit.”
Shyann swallowed hard. Her throat felt tight. Burning.
“Damn, T,” she whispered. “I—I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Tasha finally looked up at Shyann, almost catching the smile on her face. “The fucked-up part?” she said quietly. “I ain’t even trippin’ on me like that. I’m okay. God got me,” she said, pointing towards the ceiling. “I’m trippin’ because of Juelz. I don’t know how to tell him that his dream might never happen.Or at least not with me. He wants a son so bad. I see it in his eyes every time we talk about it.”
Shyann’s stomach twisted. All she heard was the‘at least not with me part.’ She was thinking of ways she could use this information. If Tasha couldn’t give him the one thing he desired. Then maybe she could.
She reached across the table and grabbed Tasha’s hand. “He loves you, T. That’s what matters. Not a baby right now. But you and your health.”
Tasha squeezed her hand back. “I know. That’s why this hurt so bad.”
Silence fell between them. Heavy. Loud.
Shyann felt it pressing on her chest. The secret. The video. The way she’d already dirtied something sacred. She looked down at Tasha’s hand in hers and felt a sick surge of adrenaline. If Tasha was medically ‘broken,’ then Juelz didn’t have a reason to stay. He wanted a legacy, and she was the only one left who could give it to him. She wasn’t just the ‘other woman’ anymore. In her head, she was the upgrade. She was the one who could really give him the life that Tasha was losing. She glanced down at her own flat stomach, her mind thinking of all the possibilities. This wasn’t about the video anymore. Shyann was plotting to take the whole throne away now.
“Girl, you gon’ be okay,” Shyann added quickly, almost desperate. “Medicine so advance now. You strong as hell. You always been.”
Tasha smiled at her then. Soft. Grateful. Real. “That’s why you my girl,” she said. “I needed you today.”
