Page 26 of My Fake Dating with the Grumpiest Highlander
Because of course this picturesque Victorian house has one major flaw: it’s insulated about as well as a colander.
But I have a solution.
I head straight for my room. The one. The only. My personal sanctuary.
The bathroom.
It’s the only room in this house with modern, efficient heating. When I moved in, I invested in a proper electric radiator. I even went for a connected model I can switch on before I get home, and I’ve never regretted the expense because it turns my bathroom into a true cocoon. A spa. My refuge from the Scottish winter that refuses to leave even in April.
I installed a small blue velvet armchair in there. And a floor lamp. And shelves for my candles and bath salts.
Some people have an office.
I have a bathroom.
I make a quick detour through the kitchen to put my pizza in the oven. Fifteen minutes at two hundred degrees. Simple. Foolproof.
Then I head for my tiled paradise.
Warmth wrapsaround me the second I push open the door. The radiator hums softly, filling the room with the perfect temperature.
I sigh in relief.
I start running the bath, pouring a generous amount of scented salts beneath the stream of water. The hot water slowly rises, steam fogging up the mirror while pink bubbles bloom across the surface.
I turn the faucet all the way on. The faster it fills, the faster I can sink into it and forget this day ever happened.
I strip down and slip into my bathrobe. I light my favorite candle, vanilla caramel scented, a Christmas gift from Jane, then settle into my chair with my phone in hand.
The sound of running water becomes soothing background noise. My shoulders relax. I can feel the tension of the day slowly dissolving.
I unlock my phone and open Instagram.
Not to look at other people’s perfect lives.
No.
To get my personal drug fix: home staging videos.
I lazily scroll through perfectly organized tiny houses, studio apartments transformed into minimalist palaces, pristine Scandinavian bathrooms in shades of white.
One video catches my attention:
“How to turn your bathroom into a luxury spa on a budget.”
I glance around me. My velvet chair. My candles. My purring radiator. The steam slowly rising from the bathtub.
“Already done,” I murmur with a smug little smile.
The bathtub is almost full now. The water has reached the perfect level, just enough to submerge me up to my neck.
I set my phone down on the shelf, take off my robe, and test the water with the tip of my foot.
Perfect temperature.
I’m about to step into the bath, one foot already in the hot water, when?—
BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP!
