Page 161 of White Lights
Dez doesn’t answer. She presses a hand to her eyes, trying to dispel the dizziness.
“Dez,” Rafe says with sudden urgency. “We need to get you back to Acheron, inside thebarbelo.Now.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” She wrests her arm away from him and staggers backward. “And I’m not leaving him.”
“You’ll die, Dez.” Rafe sounds truly scared.
She shakes her head, remembering all she’s learned about Rafe’s goal of becoming the Angel of Death, the war between the angels and the lost Crimson Pinion, his mentorship of her, why he wants her to ascend. And she lifts her chin to meet his eyes, resolve steeling in her heart.
“You need me more than I need you,” she says.
He doesn’t answer.
“Give Asher his film,” she tells him.
“You’re really going to let it all go?” Rafe demands. “Right here, overhim? There’s no film for you either, Dez. So if you die from the snake’s venom, you’ll both be frags, and I’ll still have you under my wing. Forever. Or … you could kiss me, and as a bonus, I pull the poison out of your mouth and save your life. Everything for a kiss.”
“And Asher gets his film?” she asks weakly, her breath coming short. “You swear you’ll send Asher on in peace?”
“I swear.”
Despite everything else, Rafe cannot lie to her.
The poison pounds in Dez as she steps close to him, taking his face in her hands and pressing her lips to his like her life depends on it. She’s kissed this angel so many times, and she can’t help it that the rush of his mouth still hits her, sends shivers of physical desire to her brain.
She tells herself it’s just the heat of the fire, but it isn’t. It’s them, this thing between them that will always be there, even though she hates him. He knows it, too. Knows what his kiss does to her.
His arms close around her, the pose practiced by now, and Dez tips her head back and lets him run his tongue over the inside of her lips, softly. Then he kisses her hard, with intensity, like this is the last time, or like he’s trying to make her remember what they used to have.
She wishes she could forget.
As soon as Dez feels better, strong enough to finally push Rafe away, she does.
He gasps for air and looks at her accusingly. “Why do you have to be such a goddamned good kisser?”
“Asher’s film.” It’s all she can manage to say, still recovering from the kiss. She hates herself for doing it. Her body is healed, but her heart is broken.
The fire is burning hotter now. Both of them are sweating. They’ll have to get out of here soon. But first:
Rafe reaches into his trench coat and draws out a syringe. Tears burn Dez’s eyes at the sight of the black smoke swirling. She knows she isn’t in there, part of Asher’s film, and this is cruel and wrong. But a film without her is still better than no film at all.
She won’t let him become another of Rafe’s frags.
“Give it to me,” Dez says suddenly, holding out her hand. She can’t stomach watching Rafe handle this last grace for Asher. “Let me do it.”
Intrigued, Rafe hands Dez the syringe. She lowers herself to the ground, where Asher lies looking like he might only be asleep. She remembers what she saw Rafe do before, when they traveled through the Veil. She takes a breath.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” she tells Asher; then she lifts his head in one hand, and with the other, she shoots his film into his cerebral cortex.
A sound, almost inaudible, comes from within Asher. It’s like the softest, faintest tinkling bells. Then Dez sees a shimmering glow rise off him.
At a certain point,Moriah told them,the soul begins to shimmer right above the body …
Dez is seeing Asher’s soul.
And with one last rise of the electrical brain waves, life flashes before their mind’s eye.
Dez weeps, taking both his hands in hers.
