Page 24 of The PTA President
“Yeah, you said you liked her.” Nat reaches over to adjust the volume.
Butterflies swarm my tummy as we drive together, windows cracked, music vibrating through my body. I’ve never come alive like I do with her. It feels like experiencing the world and all its freedom for the first time.
When the chorus starts, her hand finds mine, and our fingers interlace. The feeling is like coming home after a long vacation. Every groove fits perfectly, as if it’s the missing piece. I understand what she means now when she says to feel the music. With our hands together, and the night sky above us, soft music billowing through the air, I feel it all.
We enter my neighborhood just as a song comes on repeating “It’s good to be in love.” I’m paying attention to the lyrics more than I usually do, and they’re resonating with me. An uncontrollable smile takes over, making my cheeks hurt. The song is how I’m feeling right now. Am I having a midlife gay awakening? The chorus is sounding a lot like the soundtrack of our story, and I’m wondering if it could turn into a love story.
ChaptEr 16
Natalie
Anxiety makes its way through every nerve, like poison. It’s now or never, I promised Megan I’d spill my guts to Candace. I’ve never cared enough about someone to bother having this talk until now. Sure, I’ve had too many drinks and word vomited to a one-night hookup, but there’s never been a relationship that required this kind of vulnerability.
Candace is the pop of color amongst the dark tones of my life. She’s bringing out a light that’s typically kept at a dim setting. It’s exhausting hiding my true self from her, and I can’t do it anymore. What’s that saying? The truth will set you free? Well, the truth could send her packing if she doesn’t like what she hears.I’m willing to wait as long as it takes for her to get on board, but I can’t speak for her.
She turns her kitchen lamp on, leaving the rest of the house dark. Where’s the best place to sit down and change someone'sopinion of you? So far, she’s been cool with everything I’ve thrown her way, or at the very least, she’s pretended.
“Do you want to change into something more comfortable? I have extra pajamas, you're welcome to.” Her voice shakes as we head upstairs.
“Sweet.” I follow her lead, taking one baby step at a time.
I head right into her closet, knowing exactly where to start changing. Once this skin-tight torture device has slipped off, I find the matching sweat set I was eyeing last time I stayed the night. It’s charcoal gray and a bit oversized, but feels like butter against my skin.
Grabbing a thick scrunchie, I tie my hair up, leaving my dress on the floor, and head to the bedroom. My legs give out when I see Candace’s back facing me, slowly slipping off her dress and letting it fall to the floor. I have the perfect view of the tight, firm ass I’d give anything to take a bite of. She picks up a silk robe from her bed and ties it while turning to me, giving me only a glimpse of the most incredible set of tits.
My mouth waters, desperate to see the rest. I want my hands and mouth on every part of her delicious body. She crawls into bed, while I force my legs to move towards her. My heart’s beating out of my chest, and I can feel every nerve exploding.It’s possible I’m imagining things, but it seems like she knows what she’s doing.
“You seem nervous.” She grabs my hand, rubbing over my palm. “There are no expectations, we can just talk.”
“Yeah, there are a few things I think you should know.”
“Start wherever you want, tell me your life story.” She smiles like she means it, settling in as if she has nowhere else to be.
It’s like giving a speech in class, and the kid you have a crush on is staring at you. So you accidentally blurt out that you’re in love with them rather than give your presentation on the founding fathers.
“I brought up my roommate Megan earlier, well, she and I were neighbors growing up. There’s not a single childhood memory without her. Our windows lined up so we’d sit and talk for hours. Her dad got us Walkie Talkies one summer, so even after dark, we could still talk.” I can picture the two of us, like it was yesterday. “I’m an only child, and my parents worked, so her house felt more like home. My parents had weird control issues. They grounded me a lot without any explanation. It was so unpredictable that I never knew when I’d get into trouble. They were strict in bogus ways, always super hung up on appearances and what their friends thought.”
The circles she’s drawing on my hand never stop, allowing the chaos in my brain to slow down while I gather my thoughts. She has this energy that relaxes me even when I’m at my breaking point.
“Her mom and dad were always kissing and dancing in the kitchen. It was so embarrassing, but I’d miss it when I’d go home to two people who couldn’t be bothered to say hello to each other, let alone to me. When we were in middle school, neither of us had ever been kissed, and at that point, I didn't really want to kiss girls or boys. I thought some boys were cute, and others disgusting. Same with girls, a bunch were pretty, and some weren’t. Megan had a crush on a boy in our grade, but she didn’t wanna be bad at kissing if he ever made a move. Of course, I said yes when she asked if she could practice with me. It wasn’t anything sexual or weird, just two best friends touching lips.”
I adjust my body, sitting upright. The stomach acid ripping through my gut hurts, as my stomach twists. Candace never strays from my eyes, keeping her soft grip on my hand.
“The thought of kissing her didn’t excite me. I was just doing her a solid. The second her lips touched mine, my dad walked through the door. I’ll never forget the look on his face. He was furious. He yelled at Megan to get her ass out of our house andnever come back. Then he said the same to me. I stood there crying for my best friend, who was escaping out my window, calling for her mom.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Candace sits up, our hands still interlaced. “How old were you?”
“Umm, probably thirteen.” Saying it out loud sounds so young. It’s about the same age as her daughters.
“Your parents didn’t let you explain what happened?” Her brows raise.
“Not exactly. Things only escalated once my mom got involved. She told me to pack a bag and get out. I was hysterical, and my focus was only on Megan. I was terrified she was at home receiving the same treatment. There was an old suitcase stashed in my closet, so I grabbed as many clothes and shoes that would fit. There’s not a lot of clarity about that night, but Megan and I have dissected it enough to know I must’ve blacked out or put up some sort of wall.”
“What kind of wall, like you don’t remember what you did?”
“No, I just remember how I felt. I felt like someone had ripped away all my control, and I was unable to use my voice. Nobody was listening to me, and my throat was hoarse from screaming, trying to get them to understand. I tore my room to pieces, shattering every glass frame on my dresser. Megan’s parents explained afterwards that I smashed a trophy through my bedroom window, leaving glass shards on the floor.”
“Honey, I’m so sorry.” She holds back tears as her voice quivers.
