Page 95 of Betrothed in Fury
“I do,” he says without hesitation, eyes locked with mine.
“And do you, Logan Wilde, take Killian Lorde to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”
“I do,” I say, no trace of confusion within me as I realize that all my doubts and worries are gone. And I know why too. Because what I feel for Killian is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.
“You may kiss,” the priest says, and Killian moves close, hooking his arm around me and drawing me near, taking what’s his now.
All yours, Kill. Just like you’re all mine.
A voice in me tells me I should resist this.
But I can’t. I won’t.
Because despite all the bullshit, this is the man I really want. Despite all my resistance and struggle throughout this arrangement, I now know I love Killian Lorde.
34
KILLIAN
Ihadn’t realizedhow much the ceremony would affect me, but it meant so much more than simply signing my name on the slip of paper that fulfilled the requisites of our contract. I thought marrying him would satisfy this darkness within me, yet here I am, at war with myself.
I promised to have and to hold him, but I also know I want more than anything to protect him. Protect all of him, which includes his heart. As he looked at me and said, “I do,” I couldn’t help but hate myself because the man he should have said that to is someone capable of giving him what he needs. Because a monster can’t love. Not in the way he desires.
This awareness has made it a struggle to enjoy the reception in the backyard, where the select family and friends in attendance approach to give us their well-wishes and our brothers give us as much hell as they can.
We finally have a moment to ourselves at the bar, where I down a healthy swig of whiskey, hoping it’ll numb this tightness in my chest, yet as I glance at my husband, it only aches that much more.
“Everything okay?” Logan asks.
I avoid his probing gaze, fearing he might discover more than he should, like he did in the greenhouse earlier. “Well, Jaime and Krychek probed Aunt Tessa for weapons, but she’ll likely be armed anyway, so once she gets a few drinks in her, one of us is liable to meet some bullets. Usually how it goes down.”
“It’s okay,” Logan says, which catches me by surprise. “Uncle Vernon’s as good a shot as he is at sneaking guns into places too.” He winks, and I try to laugh, but it comes out strained.
“Are you sure everything’s fine?” he presses.
Dammit, Log. Why can’t you let me suffer in peace?
“Fine,” I lie.
Logan turns to the dance floor, which we’ve set up on a platform by the DJ booth. “We should dance to get everyone going.”
The sting is still there, but my heart flutters too. I would rather get away from everyone, especially him, but I push through for his sake. “I would like that, Mr. Lorde.”
I don’t even know why I said it, but I like it…a reminder of how much I like having him as my captive. He was right. I am happier now, knowing I can keep him safe.
Logan laughs. “I didn’t change my name.”
“I still think I’ll call you Mr. Lorde. Maybe you can call me Mr. Wilde.”
“That’s not how people do this.”
“We’re not exactly like everyone else, are we?”
He’s doing it again, looking into my eyes.
Get out of my damned head, you bastard!
I shake it off. One way or another, we must get through not just tonight, but the rest of our lives together.
