Page 101 of Betrothed in Fury
His expression turns serious. “In case there’s any doubt, know that I don’t fault you for your mother’s actions, Log. But it’s a relief to understand now that there was more to the story. And if anything, she did me a tremendous favor.”
“Favor?” I can’t imagine how he can say something so terrible. “For doing that to your family?”
He blinks, as though shocked by my question. “No, I meant in shooting me.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Or rather,what the fuck were you thinking?” That last part is delivered with all the fury I’ve been carrying, the stress of the past few hours that’s only been relieved in knowing he’s still alive.
Although, it’s hardly much relief.
“I was protecting you,” he insists.
“I figured that out when you charged her like a rhino. She’s my mother, and it was my responsibility to take that bullet.”
His brow creases. “Not only protecting you from her, Log. I was protecting you from me.”
“What?” I ask, horrified.
He gulps, his gaze shifting. “I was already fucked up because of the ceremony, and when you said you loved me, it was too much for me. I hated knowing I would be the reason you suffered for the rest of your life. And when Clara offered the opportunity, I realized that if I took the fall, you’d enjoy all the things you needed from the connection with my family, but with the freedom to fall in love with someone who could love you back. You could actually be happy.”
It’s a sobering confession, one that stings and feels good at the same time. A consideration I wouldn’t have expected from the Killian who had me chained up in his study.
Still, I’m not finished with him. “You thought I could be happy without you? We’re far beyond that now. Don’t you getthat? If loyalty and self-sacrifice is all I can expect to get in this, then I’m willing to take it.”
He chuckles, and proof that I’m stressed nearly out of my mind is how quickly I jump from being reminded of how much I care for him to wanting to strangle him with my bare hands.
“What the fuck is so funny?” I ask through my teeth.
“You don’t get it, Log. I can’t fault you. I didn’t get it either. The only person I ever took a bullet for was Dad. And the only people I ever thought I’d do that for would be my family. But the moment I was hit, I had an epiphany. I realized that the reason I felt so much guilt and pain was because I thought I’d spend the rest of my life tormenting you without the one thing you wanted. Because I cared about you so much that I couldn’t bear the thought of you being without something you longed for. Because I love you too, Logan.”
His words send a jolt through me, breaking through the tension that’s ravaged me throughout the night. Quieting that shrill sound from the gunshot.
He takes my hand, caressing gently. “I wasn’t even sure I’d know what it would feel like, but when I took that bullet, I knew it with every fiber of my being.”
There’s a part of me that can’t believe this, given everything he told me, but when I look into his eyes, I feel the truth of his words. I also know him well enough to know he’d never lie about something like this, certainly not to make me feel better.
Still, I fear I’m about to wake up in the waiting room and discover this was all a fucked-up dream.
“You’re mine, Logan Lorde,” he says softly, like it’s all the strength he has left to speak.
I move close and take his mouth, and his arm wraps around me as he draws me close.
All our kisses have been hot, but this one is more meaningful, and I embrace it with all my might.
Because I’m never letting my husband go. Not if I can fucking help it.
36
KILLIAN
“Just be careful,”Logan says.
“I’ll be fine.”
Jesus, how many times have I told him that the past few days?
I had to stay in the Center through Tuesday before I was discharged. Jaime, who walked away with a cast on his arm—nothing that hasn’t happened before—returned to Rothguard the next day. Meanwhile, Clara, whose injury was more severe, was released to Recourse a day before I was let out, like it was something she had to win, much like her issues with Ian and my father.
Doc said I’m supposed to take short walks to keep my blood circulating. It’ll help the injury heal, but it stresses Logan out, the way he guards me like my personal watchdog. If I’m being honest, though, I like it.
