Page 42 of The Wives of Murder Club
Back in the kitchen, Marta wrapped Derrick up like a mummy in plastic, crying as she duct-taped the sheets into place. Her tears were hot on her face, but she didn’t feel sad; there was still only space for the boiling rage that had scorched her insides ever since she found out what a piece of shit her husband really was. She was doubly furious that he was now the reason she could potentially go to jail, but she resolved that she couldn’t let that happen.I’m going to do everything right.And that started with getting him into the freezer chest. After she finished wrapping Derrick’s body, Marta pulled him by the feet into the garage. When his head bumped over the step down from the kitchen, a “sorry” popped out of her mouth. The sound of her own voice startled her so badly she dropped his feet and a little squirt of pee escaped.
In the garage, Marta opened up the chest freezer to empty its contents: frozen pizzas (Derrick’s), a jumbo bag of pork dumplings (hers), and a package of Italian sausages blanketed in frost (unknown provenance). The hardest part was heaving Derrick into his temporary coffin. He was not only heavy but, wrapped entirely in plastic, slippery too. Marta ended up needing to use a couple of pieces of plywood to create a makeshift ramp so she could clumsily roll him up and in. She finished the job panting and sweating, arms, neck, and back ablaze. Flushed with victory, she slammed the lid down, collected the frozen foods in a blissfully cool armful, and returned to the kitchen to rehouse the items in the regular freezer. Step one of her plan was complete.
Step two was what to do with Derrick’s body. The answer came to mind as Marta scrubbed blood out of the kitchen floor: the dump.
The dump saw thousands of pounds of trash every month, the upper layers of garbage slowly, constantly, and inexorably compressing the lower layers. A few years ago, there had been a tragic news story that made a big impression on Marta: a murder trial with no body. All signs pointed to the husband, a sanitation worker, who had a history of domestic violence and was the last person to see his wife alive. On the stand, a forensic pathologist had explained that even if searchers had been able to find the body (this scenario was likened to finding a needle in a haystack the size of a football stadium), determining the true cause of death would have been impossible given the state of decomposition and, most of all, thecrushingthat would have occurred. Marta decided she’d wrap Derrick’s body in the old shag rug from the study and dispose of it as soon as she had the chance.
48
BERNIE
Bernie hadn’t given much thought to what she’d do if Imogen or Marta found out that she was the one who’d killed Celeste. It was simply not something she worried about, because Bernie never really worried about anything, when it came down to it. Things happened, or they didn’t. And when things happened, she dealt with them.It’s not that hard when you’re the smartest person in any room.Bernie was very pleased with how well she’d dealt with this unexpected turn of events, and thrilled to have her theory about Marta confirmed.
After they’d gotten back from the lake, Bernie had become increasingly convinced that Marta was hiding something. She’d expected Marta to accuse Imogen of having something to do with Derrick’s disappearance after finding the photographs Bernie had planted in her toiletry bag; and, relatedly, she’d thought the photos would make Marta suspicious that Imogen had killed Celeste. Marta’s reaction to the photographs had been too muted, which got Bernie’s wheels turning. The clincher was when Marta agreed to make Celeste disappear—a decision that was completely out of character for her. Bernie suspected she must have had her own secret reasons for not wanting to be part of a murder investigation.
“. . . and the dump seemed perfect until I realized that I physically couldn’t do it,” said Marta. “It was actually such a stupid idea, but I wasn’t thinking clearly in the moment. I was barely able to drag him from the kitchen into the garage—I think I must have been high on adrenalin—and I was so sore the next day I could barely get my shoes on. I don’t know how I thought I’d be able to get him into the trunk of my car, let alone out of the trunk at the dump, without help. It was a crazy stupid plan.”
Marta kept talking and talking, each word relieving the pressure on her soul. In Bernie’s company she was free to unburden herself of her darkest secret. It wasn’t that she’d let Derrick die. It wasn’t that he was currently covered in ice crystals in her garage, or that next spring his body would fertilize the garden she intended to plant. It was that she wished she’d had the guts to kill him herself. His death was the defining moment of her entire life, but, as throughout the course of their relationship, she had been a passive participant. Marta explained that she’d realized she’d let herself be controlled for most of her life—by her parents, by Imogen, by Derrick. She’d been so worried about being liked that she’d rarely stopped to ask herself ifsheliked the person she was trying to impress. But no more.
Bernie almost applauded. This was the most she had ever liked Marta.
Marta picked up her empty water glass and got up from her bar stool. “I’m just going to get some more.”
Bernie leapt up to beat her to it. “Allow me.” She grabbed the glass from Marta’s hand, filled it from the tap, and then turned to hand it back.
But Marta was frozen in place, her eyes locked on the windowsill above the sink where the sleek profile of Bernie’s iPhone (a slick white case against slick white tile) was barely visible.
“Oh my god. You were recording me.”
49
FILTHY FUNDSS6E08: MEET THE MURDER MAMAS
CLAUDIA:Hey Fundies! Thanks so much for joining us for Season Six ofFilthy Funds. Today we’re wrapping up the ITFF story with some final updates and a surprise bonus interview. We’ll be taking a brief hiatus—Mama needs a vacation!—before we come back with Season Seven. A quick teaser: Season Seven will be a return to our traditional storytelling model, with a multi-part exploration of ransomware and extortionware.
LEO:Who “ware” it better!
CLAUDIA:I see we’re already workshopping episode names. But that’s next season! Right now, let’s give the people what they want, which is the news about Imogen Garron’s legal situation.
LEO:Imogen will face trial next year on multiple charges for the Ponzi scheme she ran under the guise of the ITFF. If convicted, she faces life in prison. Safe to say she’ll remain behind bars until trial—I don’t think a judge would grant her bail after the stunt she pulled last time.
CLAUDIA:Hard agree. Our sources tell us that Imogen has been working on a deal with the Crown, so there is the potential for a reduced sentence. Happily, this means that the people she defrauded will likely be getting at least some of their money back, as any deal will certainly require restitution as a key component.
LEO:In other news in the Imogen Garron cinematic universe, al—
CLAUDIA:Leo.
LEO:I can’t help it—that’s how I think about it! Financial crime is my Marvel. As I was saying, although we were unable to get anyone from the Serious Fraud Office to be a guest on the pod, we did score a major final interview with Marta Hebard and Dr. Bernadette Parvis.
CLAUDIA:Also known as the Murder Mamas! Or at least, the only two remaining members who are alive and not in police custody. Marta and Bernie gave us an insiders’ account of the disappearance of their friend Celeste Sarkassian—despite all our naughty speculation, it’s now clear that her death was, in fact, a tragic coincidence—and they paid a lovely tribute to her. But when it came to Imogen Garron, they didn’t hold back! Earmuff warning for those listening with small children: There’s a lot of choice language.
LEO:It was fascinating to hear Marta and Bernie describe what it felt like to learn that one of their closest friends had been perpetrating a years-long fraud on a massive scale.
CLAUDIA:I believe the phrase Bernie used was “total reality fuck.”
LEO:Marta also opened up about her missing husband, Derrick Williams. Recent developments have cast his disappearance in a completely different light, entirely unconnected to the ITFF debacle. Derrick has been credibly accused of grooming and sexual misconduct by several female students and graduates of the private school where he worked. It sounds like the walls were closing in on him—he got a girl pregnant—and he decided to make himself scarce.
CLAUDIA:It’s clear that Marta and Bernie have really leaned on each other in the wake of all this tragedy. Women supporting women! They were a total delight to chat with.
