Page 76 of The Love of My Afterlife
I pull myself away from the hug and mentally slap some sense into myself, because having an erotic thought about your downstairs neighbour in an Accident and Emergency department is wrong on so many levels.
“Let’s go.”
When we reach our building, we stand in the lobby like a couple of gawps just staring at each other.
“I…” Cooper murmurs, looking back towards his door.
“Thanks for…” I trail off, shrugging so that a wayward shoulder feather pokes me in the cheek.
“I’m sorry that…”
Mrs. Ernestine’s door creaks open, and she pokes her head around it. She takes a bite of a red apple and munches loudly before tutting.
“If neither of you are gonna finish a fucking sentence, will you bugger off and let me get back toBetter Call Saul? Jesus!”
Cooper apologises and smiles his charming smile, but it has zero effect on Mrs. Ernestine’s glare. I see herNever Againtattoo and I wonder if the thing she is reminding herself to never again do is murder someone.
I do not want to find out, so I wave goodbye to Cooper and the pair of us do as she says and bugger off to our respective apartments, a multitude of unfinished sentences hanging heavy in the air.
34
Hi Darling! Sorry missed your call. Things manic here. Hope you’re well!
I hang up Leanne’s dress before diving into the shower, where I find myself fixating on my previous realisation that while I know I will die again in two days, and I know that it will be at 6:00 p.m., I have zero clue how on earth it will happen.
It could come about under any circumstances. It won’t be choking, because since the last time, I have chewed and swallowed my food so slowly and thoughtfully that it’s taken me twice as long to finish a meal. On the flip side, my digestion has improved considerably. I could fall down the stairs. I could slip on a sneaky bathroom floor shower spill. There could be a gas explosion. Or Mum might actually call me back and the shock of it would incite some sort of cardiac event. I’m basically livingFinal Destinationright now.
I step out of the shower with extra care and take tiny, vigilant steps into my bedroom. I could be walking down the street and have an air-conditioning unit drop onto my head. Ormaybe I fall down a manhole because I’m too busy thinking about not dying to see that there is a manhole in my path. Fuck. I could get murdered. I could get murdered by Mrs. Ernestine. And then she could find all my library books about how to hide a body, and no-one would be any the wiser.
“Merritt!” I call out frantically, wrapping myself in my dressing gown. “Merritt, I need some reassurance! Some sort of guarantee about the way this is gonna go down! What is death’s design for me?”
A big gust of wind makes my curtains flap, and then there she is, faint and iridescent at first and then fully solid, standing at the foot of my bed wearing a white flippy dress covered with cherries, her face glaring at mine.
“You actually answered me!” I exclaim.
“What did I tell you?”
I grit my teeth. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not supposed to contact you, but I’m freaking out right now. Are you going to have me murdered? Is Mrs. Ernestine gonna murder me? Because I’m telling you, she’s got it in her.”
Merritt looks around her, eyes panicky. “Every time you call out to me, my phone beeps. One beep for every sentence! We don’t have silent mode in Evermore, so it’s bringing me even more heat. You cannot do that. They think I’m in the bathroom right now. I’m pretty sure Eric is waiting for me outside to catch me out, and if that happens, then all bets are off, Delphie.”
“You still need the loo in Evermore?” I muse. “Seems unfair.”
“So that’s it?” she says, ignoring my question. “You’re just going to give up on Jonah?Pas fantastique!”
“What else am I supposed to do, Merritt? He was quite clear. He has a girlfriend. He was scared of me. Ichasedhim.”
“InTwilight, Bella was literally in danger of her blood being guzzled not only by Edward but also by his whole family and his enemies too, of which there were an excessive amount! And she still found a way to make it work, becausesoulmates. And here you are giving it one in-person meeting that didn’t go the way you anticipated and then nothing? All done and dusted? Maybe you and Jonah are not instalove—more a slow burn like Josh and Lucy inThe Hating Game? But there won’t be anything to slow burn if you don’t spark the initial flame.”
“This isn’t a romance novel, Merritt. It’s my life. And he straight up doesn’t like me. I know you said he’s my soulmate, but…” I get a vision of Jonah, the dislike in his eyes as he ran away from me. Let’s face it, the terror.
“That pesky fear of rejection. You would literally ratherdiethan make yourself vulnerable even one more time? If you let that happen, you’re a hopeless eejit. Imagine if Bridget Jones had never let herself be vulnerable? She probably would have ended up in a toxic marriage with Daniel Cleaver! My god.”
I frown. “I already did make myself vulnerable. I got on a podium and danced. I showed my labia majora outline to the entirety of Kensington Gardens. I auditioned for a role inMurder in the Pretty Village.I had to interact with the couple who made my school life an absolute nightmare, and I continued to look like an idiot in front of them. It all failed, Merritt! If I have two days left on Earth, I don’t want to spend them gambling on something that has almost zero chance of succeeding. And going back to Jonah? That’s what it would be. Another humiliation. This week has been a full nightmare.”
Merritt shakes her head. “A full nightmare? Has it? Has it really? The whole week.Justa nightmare? Think about it, babe.”
I blink. “I…” I trail off, realising that while I’ve been frustrated and angry this week, I’ve also been nervous and excited and amused and full of anticipation. Perhaps in certain moments, something close to happy. “Maybe not the whole week…”
