Page 64 of The Love of My Afterlife
“Excuse me?” His voice is now openly sharp.
Why did I say that? And why is my voice now coming out as a squeak? I sound absolutely batshit.
Jonah’s eyes widen. He looks scared? Shit. No. I don’t want to scare him. I need to start over again. Try a different tack. A gentler, less crazy, less tipsy approach. But he’s now backing away from me.
I need more time with him. He needs to get to know me. But I won’t get more time unless he…
“Just kiss me!” I shout in a panic, leaning forward again. He sidesteps so that my lips hit nothing but air.
Jonah looks around himself in dread, reaching behind him for the door handle, jerking it open and running backwards out into the corridor and down towards the ballroom.
“Jonah, no!” I call out. “You don’t understand! Let me explain!”
I follow him out of the room, stumbling on these stupid shoes. I kick them off and start to run after him. I can’t lose him. Not again. Not after everything. I don’t have time!
I chase him into the ballroom, where the band are now playing some swoony Harry Connick Jr. song, the beautiful guests whirling elegantly about the ballroom floor. Jonah disappears into the crowd. No, no, no. I can’t lose him again! It’s been so hard to find him. This is my only chance!
“Jonah!” I cry out, my voice emerging as a screech. It’s a noise so blood-curdling it makes the band stop playing.
“Not this lass again,” someone mutters beside me. The crowd clears and there’s Jonah, right in the middle of the dance floor. I scurry over to him. The other guests are watching us.
“I…I don’t know what you want, but whatever it is I’m not interested.” He holds up his palms like he’s trying to calm me down.
“You are interested, though,” I say. “Just let me explain…”
“Yeah, maybe another time.” He takes another step backwards.
“There isn’t time for another time!” I throw my arms up in frustration. “You’re never where you’re supposed to be! You didn’t show up at the life drawing and then by the time I got to the Shard—”
I cut myself off as Jonah’s mouth drops open. He looks genuinely terrified. Beside him, a pretty, dark-haired woman in a floral dress grabs his hand, looking at me curiously.
“Nooooo,” I murmur, except it’s not so much a murmur as a whine.
Shit. I am making this much, much worse.
“What’s going on here?” It’s Gen. Her dress is still stained but dry, hair perfect as ever. “Are you okay, Jonah?” she asks. She knows him?
“How do you two know each other?” I frown between the two of them.
Gen frowns back at me. “Jonah is my dear friend. He’s danced at many of my events.”
“I’ve double-checked and she’s definitely not on the list.” Ryan lumbers up, pointing at an iPad. “She’s an interlooper,” he adds. “Is that how you say it, babe? Interlooper? Or is it interloperer?”
Gen ignores him. She smoothly signals for the band to start playing again and gently shoos the crowd away from us. Jonah is staring at me, complete confusion crumpling his beautiful face. Beside him, his companion squeezes his hand.
My eyes fill with tears again. I wipe them away furiously. On the periphery of my vision, I see Cooper approaching.
“Have you come here for some sort of revenge?” Gen asks with a frown. “Just move on and forgive me already! I was an idiot in school. And so was Ryan. We were lost. Trying to find our way. Secondary school is a jungle, you know?”
“You’ve literally just used what you did to me and twisted it onstage so thatyouwere a victim! Take some responsibility, Gen.”
“I’m supporting Ditch the Bullies! Iamtaking responsibility!”
“You never reached out to me. All these years you could have gotten in touch. Apologised.” My voice breaks. “Why didn’t you?”
She looks tired. For a moment my defences weaken, and I see the girl I used to play with. The one who let me use her roller skates when mine broke. The one who I giggled with until two in the morning when she slept over at my house. And that makes me remember the girl I used to be. Unafraid and open.
She blows the air out from her cheeks. “I had totally forgottenyou even existed, to be honest, Delphie. And anyway, I was a total shit to everyone back then, not just to you.”
