Page 124 of Jessica Beam is a Hot Mess
Chapter Thirty-Two
If you are in love with your chap, tell him. There isn’t a Good Man in the world who doesn’t like to hear that he is adored by a Good Woman.
Matilda Beam’s Guide to Love and Romance, 1955
I literally can’t speak. My heart is thudding so hard, it must be making my boobs jiggle with the force of it. What the hell is Summer doing here? What’s she going to say? My mouth loses all moisture in an instant. My tongue won’t work. I stare at her, open-mouthed. Leo gives me a puzzled look.
‘Lucille? Are you OK?’
‘Hi, Leo.’ Summer leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek like they’re the bestest of friends. She looks amazing in a long, red clingy dress, her dark hair piled stylishly on top of her head.
‘Hi?’ Leo says, unsure.
‘Sooo lovely to see you again. We met in Brooklyn last year?’ Summer reminds him. ‘I was with Anderson?’
‘Oh.’ He nods with recognition. ‘Anderson, right. Yes. Good to see you. What brings you here?’
‘I’m with Anderson again actually!’ She points over to the back of the room, where I spot Anderson Warner wearing an electric-blue tuxedo. He’s grown a huge beard and is chatting to a couple of corporate-looking types.
‘He’s here with the guys from Saatchi & Saatchi,’ Summer explains. ‘They’ve just signed him to be the face of the new L’Oréal beard conditioner range in the UK. Massive beards are so in right now.’
I swallow. ‘Are you two . . .’
‘Maybe, yeah. He’s been in London doing promo and, well − ’ she flicks her hair back, even though it’s all pinned up. It makes her look like she’s got a tic − ‘we just couldn’t stay away from each other. We’ve always had this amazing magnetism.’
I suspect it was more a case of her stalking him, sending him nude selfies until he relented. I wonder how Holden took it. Probably crying into his lumberjack shirt, listening to She & Him on repeat. Poor sod.
‘You look lovely,’ Leo says politely. He seems to sense that I’m uncomfortable and gently winds his arm round my back.
‘Thanks,’ Summer says, turning around slightly so we can get a good look at her almost award-winning bum.
‘You look lovely too,Lucille,’ she enthuses.’ Soooo super different. It’s anamazingtransformation.’
Huh. She just called me Lucille? What’s she playing at? What does she know?
Shit. If Leo wasn’t here I’d just tell her to fuck off. But I need to remain demure while telepathically telling her to fuck off. I try to do it with my eyes. She just smirks in response.
‘Yeah,’ she goes on. ‘I saw you guys in theTelegraphlast week, in that piece about the Van Gogh acquisition. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you together.Leo Frost with the latest in a long line of romances, Lucille Darling.’ She does actual air quotes. Was she always this much of a twat? ‘I was totes shocked. You should have told me you were dating,Lucille.’
Fuck. I didn’t know that article was out, that there was a picture of me in the newspaper. Dammit. She clearly knows I’m pretending to be someone else. Is this why she’s here? To spill? To get me back for nicking Mr Belding?
‘How do you two know each other?’ Leo asks as the band segues into a smooth-as-silk version of ‘Fly Me to the Moon’.
‘Oh, we’re old friends,’ Summer laughs in a hollow way, and then lowers her voice. ‘I knowallher secrets!’
SHIT.
Leo nudges me, gives me a naughty grin ‘Lucille’s secrets? Well, now I’m very intrigued . . .’
Summer rubs her hands together. ‘Oh, I know them all. For example, Leo, did you know that . . .’
I completely freeze, every muscle in my body locking. It’s all going to come crashing down. Everything. Right here, right now.
I don’t know what I’m more worried about, the fact that the project will be ruined after all this effort, or the fact that Leo will no longer be able to look at me like he’s looking at me right now – like I’m the coolest, most interesting woman in the world.
Just as Summer is about to reveal some horrible truth about who I really am, the band stops playing and a voice booms out over the speakers, cutting Summer off.
‘Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats. The London Advertising Association Awards are about to be announced.’
