Page 116 of Jessica Beam is a Hot Mess
‘Y-yes.’ Peach beams.
‘Awesome.’ I nod firmly, grabbing a pen from the side table. ‘Gavin, write your number on here.’ I hand him the package.
He scrawls down his number with slightly shaking hands.
‘I . . . I . . . I’ll call you,’ Peach eventually gets out, her voice as squeaky as it’s ever been.
‘Cool,’ Gavin replies, smiling shyly at Peach. ‘See you. Bye, Peach.’
‘Bye Gavin!’
‘Er . . . bye,’ I say pointedly as he races off back down the stairs. He doesn’t look back, just hurries off out of the building. I tut. What am I, a ghost?
When he’s disappeared from sight, Peach whoops with relief.
‘Phewee! I can’t believe it, he said yes!’
‘Well, course he did.’ I wiggle my eyebrows. ‘Looks likesomeone’sgonna get laid!’
I’m winding her up, but she smiles dreamily in response.
‘I can’t wait!’ She holds her hand up for a high-five, which I take up enthusiastically. ‘I can’t wait to get laid. Things are finally starting to happen for old Peach Carmichael!’
I stuff the unopened package in the hall dresser drawer along with the rest of the post, and after making a couple of brews, Peach and I wander out onto the drawing-room balcony, where we lean against the railings and look out over the perfectly manicured park opposite. It’s another sweltering morning and the heat makes the distant skyline throb and flutter.
I gulp down my strong coffee, enjoying the zing of the caffeine coursing its way through my body, and tilt my face up to the sun.
‘So where do you think you’ll go on your first date with Gavin?’ I ask her.
I wait for an answer, but it doesn’t come
‘Peach?’ I open my eyes and glance over at her. She’s staring over the balcony, her cup of coffee halfway to her mouth as if she’s in a trance. ‘Peach?’ I repeat loudly. What’s she doing? ‘Earth to Peach!’
‘A first date,’ she says, a tremor in her voice.
‘Huh?’
‘I’m gonna have to go on a first date with Gavin. Alone.’
‘Yeaahhhh . . . Wasn’t that sort of the point of, you know, just asking him out . . .’
Her nostrils flare and she nods rapidly. ‘Sure, but . . . I was so excited that he said yes, I didn’t think of the reality of the situation. I’mawfulon first dates, Jess. Terrible. I’ve only been on one of them in the past six years, and my hands shook so much that I accidentally knocked over the candle on the restaurant table and set fire to my date’s menu. Then, at the end of the date, when we were supposed to kiss − ’ she looks down at the floor, her chubby cheeks blazing − ‘I broke wind real loudly and my date heard. I was so nervous. It was mortifying.’
I laugh out loud and then stop just as quickly when I realize that she’s not kidding.
Panic-faced, Peach puts her mug on the balcony ledge and starts taking big gulps of air. Then she sinks to the floor, presses two fingers to her throat and starts counting under her breath.
‘Are you OK?’ I say, sitting down with her.
‘My pulse is racing. Oh God. I can’t do it. I have to cancel the date I just made with Gavin. It’s not worth it. I don’tneedto have sex, do I? I can live just fine without it. It’s probably not even that good anyway. I mean, how the fiddle can I do this? You just saw what happened out there.Youhad to talkforus! I’m not ready . . .’
‘You are,’ I say firmly. ‘You’re just having a teeny bit of a wobble. All dates are a bit awkward at first, and then you just sort of relax into it. Honestly, by the end of the night you won’t even know why you were worried!’ I gently take her hand away from where it’s pressed against her neck. ‘Calm down. You’ll be ace.’
She looks up at me, wide-eyed. ‘But I can’t do it alone. You . . . you have to come with us, Jess.’
‘What? On your date? No!’
‘Yeah. I feel better when you’re there.’
