Page 25 of It Happened on Christmas Eve
Once I’ve blown my nose and wiped my eyes of tears, I perch on the large windowsill and peer down at the excited revellers below. I think about how sad I’ve been this last year. Grumpy enough that I’ve upset other people, taken myself away from anything that might give me joy. Placed so much of my happiness on a relationship that wasn’t even real. I think about what I drunkenly whispered in Adam’s ear. That I wasn’t sure I could be happy or that I wasn’t a nice person. I may have been a bit pissed when I said those things, but I know, deep down, that they were the absolute truth. And although I feel invigorated at my sense of closure with Mitch, I know I’ve got more work to do to improve my self-esteem. A lot more work. A part of me suspects I’ll always be a hardcore bitch. I’ll definitely still keep up my shit list. And I will never ever be someone who coos at babies and cake. But maybe I’ll find a way to balance it all out too. Learn to open up a little more. Make friends. To not hold onto grudges so hard or blame myself for my parent’s divorce or the fact that they seem not to really care about me anymore now that I’m a grown-up.
I grab my laptop from the coffee table and plonk it on my knee. Opening it up, I google for reasonably priced local therapists. I take a deep and calming breath, save some numbers and vow to contact them as soon as the holidays are over. I’m sick of being grumpy. Today was so much fun. I want more of that. I need more of that.
I snuggle myself onto the sofa and pull a woolly blanket over my knees. Picking up the remote control, I flick the telly on.Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. I grin to myself. I used to love this movie when I was a kid. It’s not technically a horror movie, but a kid trying to escape two grown men who want to kill him is pretty horrifying so I’ll allow it.
I settle deeper into the plump cushions and watch Macauley Culkin outwit the newly named Sticky Bandits, laughing at the crazy hijinks and how beautiful New York looks. Soon enough, after all the walking through snow, the many vodkas, and the highs and lows of this ridiculous and memorable Christmas Eve, I drift into a deep, warm slumber.
Chapter Thirteen
Christmas Day 9:05 a.m.
I wake up after having the best sleep I’ve had in months. Despite the fact that I awoke on the sofa at 3:00 a.m. and dragged myself into bed with a hell of a crick in my neck, I’m feeling pretty refreshed.
As I lumber into my living room I wonder whether to keep the curtains closed as I vowed to. I pull one open a tiny bit and peek out.
Wow.
The entire street is covered in a blanket of Daz white fresh snow. The sun is high and bright, there are families and dog walkers and hungover people mulling around, all of them chatting to each other. Over there is a young kid trying out his shiny new bicycle, being cheered on by his proud parents. Yesterday all this would have made me scoff. But today, well, it makes me smile.
I slide the curtains open all the way and tell myself off for having been so stubborn and ridiculous about the festive season. It’s Christmas morning and I have nowhere to go, nothing to eat and nothing to do. Oh! But I do have a gift!
I hurry over to my handbag and take out the brown-paper wrapped box that Marcy gave me yesterday. A long lost excitement runs through me as I tear open the paper and discard it on the carpet.
Ooh! It’s quite a large jewellery box. I open it up to see a little golden key nestled on a dark velvet display pad.
‘A key?’ I say aloud, totally confused as to why Marcy has given me a key and what on earth it opens.
I pick up the little matchbox sized card beside the key and flip it open.
My part time trainee designer/part time PA is going to need her own office if she’s going to get all her work done.
Oh my God! Marcy’s taking me on as a trainee designer?AndI get my own office? I laugh out loud. This is the best gift ever! My heart leaps as I picture myself, designing amazing spaces to make people happy.
And then it occurs to me that Marcy gave me this gift yesterday. So technically I’d already gotten what I wanted without having to accompany Adam around all day.
But then if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have gotten to sing in the private park, or eat two hot dogs in a row, or tell a snotty bookseller that she fancied her horse, or smell every single perfume at the pharmacy, or pick out the most beautiful tree star I’ve ever seen, or gotten closure with Mitch, or kiss Adam and see the possibility that I could one day find someone to love.
I smile sadly as I think of Adam. I wonder what he’s doing right now? Probably in bed with Danielle, the pair of them having made up with an all night sex session just in time for a perfect loved-up Christmas morning.
I’m scowling at the very thought when my doorbell rings three times in a row, making me jump.
Who the hell is that? Mum? Did she come back from Australia to see me?
No. She would never do something so frivolous.
I hurry down the hallway, my too long pyjama bottoms making me trip and stumble on the way.
I open the door to find Adam. He’s wearing a Santa hat, red faced and wobbling precariously on his crutches. There’s a large shopping bag hanging from his arm and the tree we bought yesterday is tied to a piece of rope and resting on the ground beside him.
‘Fuck! It’s taken me twenty minutes to hobble one hundred metres through that snow with all this stuff. Let me in, I’m freezing!’
Laughing out loud at the sight of him, I pick up the tree and head back inside, Adam hopping in after me.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask once we’re in the living room.
‘I missed you,’ he says, looking me up and down like he wants to undress me right here, right now. ‘Nice pyjamas.’
‘Yeah, yeah. What about Danielle?’
