Page 25 of Big Sexy Love
Shudder.
After getting myself a bottle of water from the fridge and taking two painkillers to help ease the post-alcohol/stressfest thud in my brain, I text Alex, the Joans and Birdie to let them know I’m here safe. Immediately my phone starts ringing. It’s BirdieFaceTiming!
I put on the brightest smile I can manage and pressanswer.
‘Why are you smiling weird?’ Birdie says immediately, her dark eyes narrowed in suspicion. She’s wearing mascara and bright crimson lipstick, her eyebrows are perfectly filled in and there are huge colourful earrings hanging fromherears.
‘It’s a bright smile,’ I explain. ‘Awelcome to our FaceTime conversationsmile. I’m being perky. Like an American. Why are you wearing all that make-up?’ I ask. Then I gasp. ‘Did they let you leave thehospital?’
Birdie shakes her head, turning her phone camera around to reveal the same old hospital room she’s been in for the past eight weeks. ‘I wish. No. It’s Doctor BJ’s shift tonight. I’m peacockingforhim.’
‘Peacocking?’ I ask, screwing up my face. ‘What’s that? It sounds rude… Are you sure you’re up to it? Have you gotprotection?’
Birdie laughs. ‘Peacocking is when you make yourself look fancy in order to attract a mate. Peacocks do it with their feathers. The make-up, the outlandish earrings.’ She points the camera down to reveal a tight blue dress that clings to her, not inconsiderable, curves. ‘I’m peacocking like a mofo upinhere.’
‘Ah.’ I nod. ‘Well, you look very pretty. I’m sure Dr BJ will feel super inappropriately attractedtoyou.’
‘That’s the plan!’ She wiggles her eyebrows. ‘Are you sober now, you sneaky drunkard? How was the flight? Anything interestinghappen?’
I think back to forcing a rando TV writer into the loo. To the flight attendant getting mad at me. To the whole plane thinking I was fakeengaged.
‘I got a date…’ I say, deciding to omit the more humiliating aspects of the whole experience. After all, Birdie is always telling me I should try to focus on thepositives…
‘Whaaaaaat? On the plane?’ Birdie presses a hand to her cheek. ‘That’s badass! Wow, I’mimpressed.’
‘Not on the plane. Before the flight. I did meet a man on the plane but… well we didn’t exactly hit it off. Anyway, the man I met at the airport is called Colin. He hassideburns.’
‘Just like you wanted your Big Sexy Lovetohave!’
I nod, touched that sheremembered.
Birdie shakes her head. ‘I didn’t think you were interested in dating? Don’t get me wrong, I totally think you should be getting laid on the regular, but… this is a surprise. A good surprise, but, you know,unexpected!’
I shrug. ‘I didn’t think I was interested either. But… Colin was sweet. I felt comfy with him. Hewasnice.’
‘Justnice?’
‘Really nice!’Iadd.
‘Did you want to climb him likeatree?’
My eyes widen. ‘God, no. I mean, not yet, at least. I don’t really know him. Anyway, you know how I feel about sex. I don’t get those kind of feelings like you. Especially with someone I don’tevenknow!’
‘Well, either way, I’m glad you’ve got a date. It’s about time you opened yourself up to new things. You’ll be as horny as the rest of us innotime.’
‘I hope not,’ I say, thinking back to that damnAtonementlibrary scene and how it is constantly popping up my brain, making me feel peculiar. What if that was a real person I couldn’t get out of my head? What a pain in the bum thatwouldbe!
I find myself yawning, despite the fact that I slept on theplane.
‘You should get yourself all unpacked,’ Birdie says softly, tilting her head to the side. ‘If you’re not shattered after that, you should try going up to the roof terrace of the building. The view from there isinsane.’
My mouth turns down into a frown. ‘No thanks. You know I don’t doheights.’
‘Hey, you were just on a plane! You already faced that fear! A roof should be easy-peasynow!’
‘I had to get drunk to even get on theplane!’
Birdie bites the corner of her lip. ‘Just consider it, okay. The New York skyline is… well, it’s prettyspecial.’
