Page 155 of Their Naughty Student
“Instead, I get this woman who unhinges me.I’ve modified my entire training class because of you, damn it.Changed everything to ensure you get what you need.”
“See, that’s what I don’t understand,” she said softly.“The labels.Dominants, submissives.Why not just a man and a woman, Edge?Why does it have to be black or white, and nothing in between?”She wrapped her arms around her middle.“The only thing I’ve wanted since the night at the club with you and Cav … theonlything I wanted was the two of you.”
“You’re a virgin, Jamie.”
Temper flashed in her eyes.“So fucking what?I’m also a woman with needs, a woman who thought she’d found the men she wanted to…”
“To what?”
“I feel something for you and Cav.Have since the beginning.And it grows stronger every day.It hurts to know you don’t feel the same.”
I opened my mouth to say something, closed it.
“Maybe I’m not a submissive in the technical sense.I don’t know all the positions, haven’t had someone shove toys in my orifices, and command me to do erotic things.That doesn’t mean I’m not submissive to you.I don’t need your stupid training class to tell me that, Edge.”She pressed her fist to her heart.“I know what I feel.And the thought of being your submissive … Cav’s … I thought it meant something.”She flung her hand toward the bed.“This is just part of it.I thought we were getting closer.Isn’t that why people…?”
“Why they what?”
“Have sex.Make love.Fuck.Whatever you want to call it.I thought that was part of it.I thought you wanted me, too.I didn’t realize you were holding it against me.”
“I’m not.”
She looked sad, the anger diminishing.“But you are.Tell me this, Edge.If I wasn’t a virgin, would we be three weeks into this without having sex?”
No, we wouldn’t.I knew that, but I couldn’t say it aloud.
“That’s what I thought.”She reached for her dress again.
“Why do you want me?”I blurted, hating myself for speaking my mind.
She dropped the dress again, turned to face me.I moved toward her.
“Whywouldn’tI want you?”she asked sadly.“You’re handsome, smart, funny, and sexy as hell.You’re rock-steady.Two jobs, friends who can depend on you.”
“I’m twelve years older than you are.”
Jamie rolled her eyes, turned to her dress again.“I just can’t win with you.If it’s not the fact I don’t have a certificate of submission or my virginity, it’s my age.”
I wasn’t sure why, but I reached for her then, pulling her against me, wrapping my arms around her.I pressed my lips to the top of her head and held on tight.Emotion slammed into me, hard, brutal in its intensity.The thought of this woman walking out, of never seeing her again…
I couldn’t even think it.
When Jamie finally put her arms around me, I felt tears sting my eyes, but I fought them back.I wasn’t a man who cried.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” I admitted.“Everything’s changing.This thing with you.With Cav.The club.Chatter.I don’t know which way is up.I need consistency, Jamie.Otherwise, it’s just chaos.”
As the words spewed from my mouth, I realized I’d been walking around in this state of chaos, unsure which way to go.There was too much going on.I wanted too much, others wanted too much.What happened to the simple life I’d been leading before?I had my roles, others had theirs.It was uncomplicated.This wasn’t.
“Who said it was supposed to be simple?”Jamie asked.
I hadn’t realized I’d been thinking aloud, but clearly, I was losing my mind to top it all off.
I took a step back, stared down at her.“I’m falling for you, Jamie.It’s a first for me.”I rolled my eyes, huffed.“That’s a lie.I’ve already fallen for Cav.Didn’t even realize it.Now I don’t know how to juggle it all, to please everyone and myself at the same time.”
“Have you ever pleased yourself?”she asked.
I tried to understand the question.
“It’s written all over you,” she continued.“Your need to take care of everything.To ensure there’s a plan in place and to follow it.You can’t even enjoy life because you’re standing in your own way.”
