Page 56 of Seven Summers Ago
“Fine,” she huffs.
“Want me to put her to bed?” Beck asks, shooting up to his feet.
I smile at him through the agony. “We can do it together?”
He nods and we head upstairs.
I tell Charlie she can skip her bath tonight and maybe we’ll go to the beach tomorrow. Even though I have no idea how I’m going to feel and if we’ll make it there at all. It’s enough for her to brush her teeth, put on her pajamas, and hop into bed faster than usual.
She picks out a book and gives it to Beck. “Will you read to me tonight?”
“I’d love to.” Beck’s cheeks blush.
“Mama can help with the voices. She has this one memorized.”
Beck glances at me and I raise my brows with a head tilt. Like,what can I say, I’m that good.
Sitting on the end of her bed, I listen while Beck reads and the sound is soothing in a way no medicine is. It’s as if part of my brain is linked to the memory of how it once comforted me through my pain. Charlie stops him part of the way through and corrects him, telling him that’s not how the voice of a frog would sound and that he needs to start over. I giggle behind my hand while Beck gives me a pitifulhelp melook.
Is this what it would be like or feel like—the three of us, a real family. Because in this moment, Charlie tucked in and looking peaceful, her daddy and I reading her a bedtime story together…it’s perfect.
After I kiss Charlie good night, I go straight to my room and into the bathroom. The pain is intense, coming in waves, and it’s unbearable. I start the bath water, making it as hot as possible. While the tub fills, I drop onto the floor and let the tears that have been threatening to break free finally release.
A few moments later, there’s a knock on the door. “You okay?” Beck calls from the other side.
There’s no point in lying. “No. But I will be.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
Swallowing, I pinch my eyes tight and go against what my heart wants. “You’ve been great. But you can go now. Thank you.”
I pull my knees into my chest and cry harder.
Again, there’s a knock. “Hey, I’m coming in, so you better be decent.”
The door swings open and Beck finds me in a tight ball on the floor, leaning against the tub.
His sharp inhale of breath is noticeable as his chest expands. “It’s a bad one, huh?”
I nod through the tears still streaming down my cheeks.
He moves to the tub and waves his hand under the water, flinching and then turning the temperature down. “You trying to burn yourself?”
“I need it hot,” I whine in between the sobs.
He crouches in front of me, cupping the back of my neck and searching my face. “Yeah,hot. You’re not trying to boil yourself, are you?”
I hunch my shoulders, having reached the stage of desperation. “Whatever takes this pain away.”
He shakes his head like he’s irritated with me. He takes my hands in his and pulls me up. “Need help getting undressed?” Our eyes click; his are dark and possessive and heat blooms in my cheeks. “You know what I mean.”
I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my lips as I nod. “Close your eyes,” I instruct, wiping the tears off my face.
His head rolls back as he groans. “You serious? I think I’m capable of helping you without looking.”
“You sure about that?” I challenge, then bite my lip in regret as fire burns in his eyes as his gaze sweeps over me.
“What? It’s not like it’s something I’ve never seen. I hate to break it to you, but I’ve seen all your bits.”
