Page 57 of Eight Days of Christmas
His words, the plea, the look of desperation in his shimmering, brown eyes nearly broke her.
Isabella glanced in the direction of the girls. “Let me grab my coat. Let’s go talk in your truck.”
After shrugging on her jacket, telling the girls not to leave without her, they stepped outside into the dark, cold winter night, a terrible rendition of “All I Want For Christmas Is You”trailing behind them. Leo led her to the passenger side of his truck where he brushed the snow off before opening the door for her. He hopped in the driver’s side and turned over the ignition, powering on the heat.
But between the alcohol in her bloodstream and the tension building in her chest as she prepared to release the words she’d been holding in for so long, she wasn’t cold.
Leo cupped his hands into fists and breathed hot air into them. She turned and studied the straight lines and facial hair on his familiar, handsome face.
Replaying the words she planned to speak over and over like a broken record in her mind for the last several years didn’t help. Because sitting there with him now, finally about to say them aloud felt impossible.
Isabella scooted closer to Leo, propping her knee on the seat. He rested his hand on her leg, his touch sending warmth traveling through her.
She sighed. “This is a million times harder than I thought it would be.”
He brushed her cheekbone with his finger before tucking her hair behind her ear, sending goosebumps dancing across her skin. “I always loved this face.”
She melted into his touch, pushing her cheek into his palm and closing her eyes. Why did he have to make this harder? She needed him to be a jerk. So that when he got mad about what she told him, it would be easier after they parted ways again.
“I wish—” she began, fighting to keep her voice even, “—I wish I’d done things differently. I need you to at least believe that.” She needed him to know how sorry she was. That now, looking back, and after spending these last few days together, she regretted how she handled things. Maybe she should’ve never gone to New York. Maybe that hadn’t been her dream after all. Maybe Leo had been her dream all along and she was just too anxious to get out of Pineridge to realize.
And maybe the alcohol wasmessing with her brain. Because of course Ithaca College and working atThe New Yorkerhad been her dream.
“Listen, there’s no easy way to say this. So I’m just gonna say it. Then, you can go back to hating me.”
“Izz, I’ve never hated you. I mean…” He rubbed his hand over her thigh, the friction stirring something low in her belly. “I never wanted to hate you.”
“I came back after college graduation,” she finally blurted. “I had all these plans to tell you about. There was this fantastic apartment I found for us. Decent rent and right over a second-hand music store. You would’ve loved it. And I’d been talking to these friends of mine who were in a photography class who had a position open on their team. I instantly thought of you and how it would’ve been perfect for you.” She was rambling, she knew. But he needed to know—she really did have plans for him to come to New York with her. “Anyway, your mom was sick.” She paused, making eye contact. The light pouring into the cab of the pickup from the parking lot glassed over his eyes. “I knew I needed to see her before…well, before she passed. So I did.”
“Wait. You saw my mom? When?”
“Right after college graduation.”
He gave a slow shake of his head. “She never told me.”
Isabella nodded. She’d always assumed this, but it still hurt having Leo confirm her suspicions. “She never told you because she didn’t want you to know I was there.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Because Leo, she loved you so much. She wanted the very best for you. She wanted you to strive for your dreams. And your dreams were to stay in Pineridge. To take pictures of the mountains. To raise a family here. She wanted you to take over your dad’s company and to be here for Landon.”
His brow crumpled. “So what are you saying?”
She dropped her head, tucking her chin to her chest, unable to look at him anymore. The memory of that day flooded into her mind, and the grief of all she lost caught in her throat. “I think you know what I’m saying.”
“My mom?” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “My mom is the reason you never came back to me?”
She hadn’t believed her heart could break any more over this, but in that moment, his words sent fissures spreading. He hadn’t saidto Pineridge.He’d saidto me. “No, she wasn’t the reason,” she was quick to say, her throat constricting. “Not exactly. I’d never blame her.”
“Then what?”
“It was her reasons for why you and I shouldn’t have a future together. Her not being able to give us her blessing.” She reached for his hand, but he didn’t allow it, clenching his fingers into fists instead. “Leo, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to her. To you. My future was in New York. Yours was here.” Tears slid down her cold cheeks.
“I don’t believe this.” He shook his head. “All these years I had myself convinced I’d done something to push you away.” He shoved both hands through his hair, resting them against the back of his neck. “You’re telling me that my mother caused all of this?”
She was desperate to comfort him, to ease his confusion and his pain. But he wasn’t hers to comfort. “She was sick, Leo. I couldn’t take you away from her. I couldn’t make you choose between us, and I…I had a life I didn’t want to lose. I’m so sorry, Leo. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Yeah well, you did,” he muttered, adjusting in his seat. Facing forward, he stared out the frosty windshield as the snowflakes sprinkled it like confetti. “You obliterated me, Izz.”
