Page 98 of Heartbroken Husband
I found Amber and the girls on the couch in front of the TV, watching cartoons and eating cereal. One look at my face and Amber muted the show, frowning as her eyes searched mine.
“Girls,” she said immediately. “Why don’t you go brush your teeth?”
Jennifer groaned dramatically. “I’m still eating.”
“Take your cereal with you,” she said. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Jennifer shuffled away while Lu lingered near the stairs, suspicious little eyes bouncing between me and Amber. WhenI pointed her toward the staircase, she let out a loud huff but finally started following her sister up.
“We need to head back to the city,” I said quietly as I turned to Amber. “This isn’t working and I’ve already made a real mess of things. If we stay, it’s only going to get worse.”
She frowned. “You want to drive back to Chicagotonight?”
“As soon as possible.”
“What happened?”
“I basically told the man I think he’s going to resent me if I don’t produce a male heir.”
Amber winced. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.”
I pressed my palms against my eyes. “I don’t even know why I said it. This isn’t medieval England and he isn’t Louis. I know that, but it just came out and now I feel insane.”
“You’re traumatized,” she corrected gently. “I knew we should’ve looked into proper counseling for you, but okay. I’ll go get my stuff packed and then I’ll come help you with the girls.”
Before I could say anything, Lu spoke quietly from the stairs. “We’re leaving?”
My stomach twisted, but I turned slowly to face her, bracing myself for the fallout. “Yes, bug. We are.”
Jennifer popped onto the landing, her toothbrush still in her hand. “What?”
“We’re going home early,” I said. “So, uh, finish up and go wait in Amber’s car. I’ll get our things together and meet you there in a minute.”
“But why?” Jennifer asked.
I glanced at Lu. Somehow, everything that had happened tonight circled back to the intense guilt I felt about her running away. Her face crumpled when she met my gaze.
“This is my fault,” she whispered.
My heart nearly stopped, but I still crossed the room immediately, somehow finding the strength to move despite the guilt, the hurt, and even the helplessness. “No, sweetheart. It’s not. It’s absolutely not your fault.”
“I’m sorry I ran away,” she said tearfully. “I didn’t mean to make everyone mad. I’ll apologize to Zach. I want to stay with him.”
“Oh, honey. You don’t need to apologize.” I crouched in front of her, trying not to cry. “Nobody is mad at you.”
“But now we have to leave.”
Amber stepped in smoothly when my voice started wobbling. She knelt beside us and took Lu’s hand. “Adults are weird sometimes. This has nothing to do with you.”
Lu didn’t seem convinced and even Jennifer looked utterly destroyed by this news. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with Zach too.”
So do I.I swallowed hard, pushing back up to my feet before I completely lost my composure in front of my children. “I know, but it’s going to be okay. I promise. Let’s just get through the next couple hours.”
Amber took over packing with military efficiency while I moved numbly through the house, collecting swimsuits, and tiny sandals, and stuffed animals from every corner all our things had somehow migrated to.
I almost went back to talk to him three separate times, to tell him that I was scared, and overwhelmed, and that I didn’t know how to do this but I really wanted to try. Yet every time, I remembered the look on his face when I’d implied he might only care about duty and heirs.
