Page 70 of Heartbroken Husband
Jennifer bounced around excitedly in the room while Lu demanded I tie and retie the straps on her suit four times before they were comfortable. Once they were finally ready, they tore back downstairs to wait for me impatiently by the patio doors.
I stayed behind for a moment after changing into my suit, just staring at myself in the bathroom mirror and suddenly not convinced I should’ve put this thing on at all. My body was different now than back when Zach and I used to sneak away to beaches, pools, and lakes during those summers that had felt endless.
Back then, I’d never thought twice about swimsuits around him. He used to look at me like I was appearing in a Playboy spread regardless of what I wore, but years with Louis had slowly stripped away my confidence, and I’d had two kids on top of that.
For the last few years of my marriage, I’d felt invisible. Pregnancy had softened parts of me, leaving my hips wider and faint stretch marks low on my stomach.
This is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter what Zach thinks of you now. He’s already signed the contract and that’s all this is, an arrangement.
Still, I reached for the lightweight swim cover hanging over the chair and tied it firmly around my waist.Maybe I’ll just keep this on for today.
When I finally got downstairs and went outside, the girls were already waiting near the pool fence. Jennifer grinned when she saw me. “There you are. Hurry up, Mommy!”
“You’re slow,” Lu informed me.
“I literally carried both of you for nine months each,” I said. “That should buy me a little leeway.”
I opened the pool gate to let them through, looking around for Zach, but he was nowhere to be found. A stab of disappointment speared my gut, but I shook my head at myself. He’d brought us here, giving us our first trip away in over a year. I couldn’t expect him to spend every minute with us too, and frankly, at least this way, I didn’t have to worry so much about what I looked like.
He and I might’ve been stitched together at the hip back in the day, but that was in the past. It was about time that I got over it and focused on the present instead.
CHAPTER 25
ZACH
In my study on the top floor of the house, I was trying to get a bit of work done because I honestly didn’t know what else to do. I had a view of the pool from up here though, and I suddenly had the distinct feeling that all the effort I’d gone through to have the fence installed before we’d arrived might’ve been a bit of a waste.
Both of Adeline’s girls were great swimmers.Rather safe than sorry, I guess, but shit.
It just went to show how little I still knew about them. I leaned back in my chair, turning fully away from my computer now. I’d been staring at them through the window ever since I’d caught sight of the kids from the corner of my eye, running out of the house.
There was no point in pretending that I was actually getting any work done at the moment, so I rolled the chair a little closer to the window and just let myself look.Maybe I’ll learn something while I’m at it.
Jennifer splashed into the pool after another trip down the slide, effortlessly slicing through the water toward her mother. Lu was already hanging onto the edge near the lounge chair Adeline was on, both girls begging her to get in.
It didn’t look like she was going to do it, though. She had herself covered to her neck in a brightly patterned dress type thing that brushed her ankles even when she was sitting down. Despite the fact that I knew I absolutely should not feel this way, I was oddly disappointed about the dress.
There might’ve been a darker, dirtier part of my brain that had been looking forward to seeing her in a bikini again. Any swimsuit, actually.
A ping from my computer made me glance back at the screen, and I groaned when I saw a text from Nate through the company portal.
Nathaniel W: Why are you online? Do I really need to remind you that you’re supposed to be on vacation?
I slammed my laptop shut instead of responding, on my feet and pacing just a second later.What exactly am I supposed to do?
The kids, Adeline, and I were in a strange situation. I’d brought them here so we could all get to know each other, but I didn’t know how to get the ball rolling on that. We were supposed to be—I don’t know—warming up to each other or something, buthow?
That was the question.
We’re also supposed to be preparing to get married.That tripped me up more than anything else.
I’d had fun with Lu this morning and I wanted to think that she’d had fun too, even though she’d spent the better part of an hour bossing me around while I’d jogged beside her scooter. It had felt like a step forward with her, at least.
Although the moment we’d gotten back, it had been like I didn’t exist again. Well, didn’t exist outside of the occasional glare or mention of my name, at least.
Jennifer, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind me so much. In fact, there were times when I ever felt like she liked mealready, but the girls obviously had no idea what was going on. I truly didn’t know when Adeline planned on telling them or how they would react, and Jennifer had apparently been closer to her dad once upon a time than Lu ever had.
It stood to reason she’d take the news of her mother getting remarried again a little harder than her sister.Maybe, but what do I know? This is all uncharted territory.
