Page 93 of Adam
But he didn’t.
He used my mouth, made me cry, gag, ache—and he didn’t finish. He just pulled out, zipped up, and walked away—like I was some passing urge he got over halfway through.
What the hell does that make me?
What did I do wrong?
Refusing Isabella is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and that alone should scare the hell out of me.
I had her right there, looking up at me like I was the answer to a question she was too innocent to be asking.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She shouldn’t have looked like that. Shouldn’t have knelt so easily.
God, her lips. Wet, stretched, trembling while I fucked her mouth like I’d been dreaming about it for weeks.
Christ, the way she looked up at me.
Her throat fluttering around me, choking, gagging, still trying to take more—still fucking trying—and all I could thinkwas yes, yes, that’s it, that’s where you belong, don’t stop, don’t you dare stop …
I should have fucking come inside her mouth. I should’ve painted her tongue and made her swallow every drop while I whispered what a needy little thing she is.
I had to … Fuck, I had to stop …
She made that sound when I did it—that broken little whine. And fuck if that didn’t hit me harder than coming ever would have.
She did this to me.
She thinks I denied her.
Truth is, I denied myself, because the things I wanted to do to her were too unholy that her innocent mind couldn’t fathom them.
Funny, isn’t it? I play the fucking hero by pulling back, pretending I’m just some cold, selfish, cruel bastard. The kind of guy who uses and walks away. Like I’m doing her a favor by staying gone.
But the truth is, the only selfish part of me is the one that doesn’t want to stay away.
Her fucked-up, asshole father warned me about keeping everyone away. Including me.
Now I want her even more. I want to corrupt every inch he tries to keep pure, bury myself so deep in her that his voice gets drowned out. I want to tear through every line he drew and leave her marked in all the filthy ways he never saw coming.
She’s my fucking downfall. The beautiful wrecking force that came into my life to remind me there’s still hope.
The moment she touched my world, everything I was began to decay from the inside out.
My name, my purpose, whatever dignity I thought I still had … all of it crumbled the second I tasted what I should’ve left untouched.
She’s the beginning of every bad ending, or a burning hole in hell I deserve.
But, oh well, she’s a sin I’d commit again and again, until there’s no more sanity left in me.
Sanity … Yeah, right. As if I have any left.
What ifI just saidfuck itand gave in all the way?
What ifI gave in and let the worst version of me win?
What ifI broke Daddy’s rules, because fuck him, and fuck the leash he thinks he has on me?
