Page 25 of Loyal
“Baby, I’m sure that’s not true,” I say as I run my hand through her hair.
“It is!”
Bending my knees, I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I walk us into the living room, where I sit downwith her in my lap. I hold her as she cries and bite my tongue to stop myself from demanding answers.
I hate knowing that her daughter made her cry. Made her feel like being with me is wrong when it’s not. I hate even more that there’s no one I can go fuck up because of it. That I can’t solve this for her.
“Talk to me,” I beg when she starts to calm down.
She brings her hand up and rests it over my heart and spills.
“When Billy dropped Farrah off, he tried to come inside. I told him to leave, but he accused me of having a man inside. Specifically you. Said if I continue to see you, he will take me to court. After he left, Farrah confronted me. Asked me if I was dating someone her age. Told me she didn’t approve in her own words and called me selfish for breaking up our family.” She sobs out the last part.
I hold onto her, letting her get through the worst of it. When she finally settles again, I pull back to look down at her. She won’t meet my eyes.
“Is she right? Am I being selfish?” she asks in a quiet voice.
I cup her chin and tilt her face up, making her look at me.
“Wanting to be loved isn’t selfish, but expecting someone to be miserable for your own comfort is. You are the least selfish person I know, Sami, and what Farrah is asking of you is damn near impossible. I get it, you’re her mom, so you want to do everything you can to make her happy, but in this instance, that’s not going to work. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to be with you, but they are making it hard. I would have thought by now that they would have accepted the divorce and moved on. Instead, I feel like I am living the nightmare over and over again. When will I ever get to be happy? Why do I have to choose you or her?”
I kiss the top of her head and stay silent. My mind is working a million miles an hour.
How can I make this better for her?
I know at the end of the day only her daughter can decide when to stop being a pain in the ass, but surely there’s something I can do in the meantime. Something to prove to them that I’m serious and that this isn’t a game for me.
“I have an idea, but you might not like it.” I finally break the silence.
“Tell me,” she demands as she starts to play with my hair.
For a minute I close my eyes and lean into her touch. Loving the way it feels.
“Earth to Matty. Tell me, what are you thinking?”
I open my eyes and look down at her. “What if I start coming over for dinner when she’s there? Let her get to know me in a controlled environment. Let her see us, being us.”
Sami opens her mouth to say something, but I rush on.
“I mean, I know we can’t show her how we really are when she’s not home. I really don’t think her seeing me fuck you ten ways until Sunday against the living room wall is going to win me any brownie points. I just mean let her see how I treat you. The way we look at each other. That kind of shit. Show her what a relationship should look like. Not what she believes it is.”
Sami’s eyes soften. “Whatever I throw at you, you won’t walk away, will you?”
“Not if I can help it.”
She takes a shaky breath. “I think that’s a good idea. I know she won’t like it, not at first at least, but who knows? This might be the thing that finally gets through to her that her dad and I are over for good.”
“It’s worth a shot.”
“Are you sure I’m worth it?” she asks as she nibbles on her bottom lip.
I free her lip and lean down and kiss her softly.
“Mami, you’re worth it, and I’m going to do everything in my power to prove it to you. No matter what other people think. Now, as much as I would love to hold you for the rest of the night, you need to head home. Your girl is over there alone, and we can’t have that.”
Reluctantly she crawls off my lap, and I stand. As I follow her to the door, I shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching out for her.
