Page 106 of Deking
I shake my head. “I can’t be with him,” I choke out. “I can’t keep up the lie. I need to end it.”
“Don’t do anything drastic. Let’s deal with this, then reevaluate,” he urges me.
I nod, but that’s also a lie. I know I can’t keep doing it anymore. I need to uncomplicate my life, starting with Wyatt. Even if it hurts. Nothing can hurt more than the pain I am in now. I will endure.
“Let’s go home,” I tell him.
He nods, looking down at Dad. I step out of the room, giving him a minute alone. When he steps out, I grab his hand.
I don’t need anyone else. I have Will. Together we can face the world.
“You know this means you can have a life again,” I joke with him.
He gives me a tight smile. “I liked my life just fine the way it was. I’m not leaving you now that he’s gone. Nothing has to change.”
He’s wrong, though. Everything has changed. My heart is now empty. I feel hollow. Like there is a piece missing.
“Hey, I can give you a ride home,” Wyatt says as soon as we step into the waiting room.
Behind him, I see Kellan, Jason, Calvin, and Cora. They all came.
“I’m going to ride with Will, but thank you,” I tell him.
Then I look to Cora. “Thank you for rushing me here. It means a lot.”
She comes over and hugs me. “I’m so sorry, Lyla. I’m here anytime.”
“Thank you.”
I pull back, offering the others a small smile before I head out with Will.
Wyatt calls out as soon as we are in the parking lot.
“Talk to him,” Will tells me.
I nod, turning to wait for Wyatt to catch up.
“I will keep my phone on. If you need me, call. I will be right there.” He cups my cheek.
“Thank you.” I squeeze my eyes shut, “I think I need some space. This was all supposed to be fake, and right now I can’t. I just…can’t.”
He nods. “I’m whatever you need, Lyla. Always have been. I’ll be here when you decide you can. Or if you just need a hug. Or someone to sit silently with while you process. Whatever it takes.”
I nod. “I’ll talk to you later, Wyatt.”
He lets me go. I know he’s standing there watching me walk to my brother’s car, but I don’t turn to look. I can’t. I might break again if I do. I only have the mental capacity to deal with one tragedy right now.
I already lost my dad.
I can’t think about losing Wyatt too.
It’s only been two days, but I am climbing the walls. She hasn’t reached out at all. I know she has read my daily texts asking if she’s okay and reminding her I’m here. Still, she hasn’t even liked the message. She leaves me on read, which only makes me worry about her more. If it wasn’t for Will giving me daily updates about her, I would be at her house. I know she is physically okay, but it’s her mental state that’s in the most danger.
“Dude, you need to chill out. You have been pacing for two days,” Kellan tells me.
“I can’t settle down. What if she’s not okay? Lyla is a strong girl. She is very stoic. Feels like she has to do everything herself. I don’t want her suffering alone when I’m right here waiting for her,” I ramble.
“She sounds an awful lot like my best bud Wyatt. I don’t know where he is right now, though, because the guy I see in front of me isn’t him,” Kellan jokes.
