Page 73 of Holding Out for a Gyro
“What?”
“Do I need to keep giving you the same advice?” Her voice was soft but held an edge of concern. “Call him.”
As it turned out, I didn’t need to take her advice. When I came home, I found Bas sitting on my front porch. He must have been freezing. He looked like a romantic hero, all beautiful features and dark, brooding expressions. A part of me wanted to drop down beside him, let him wrap me in his strong arms and make me feel safe and loved, but he deserved better than me. I was a hot mess.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi.” He stood. “I know you wanted space, and I’ll leave if you ask, but I wanted to talk first if that’s okay.”
Had he been radio silent because he thought it was what I needed?
“Come on in.” I opened the door, tense with nerves. Had he come to tell me all the ways I’d mistreated him? Or worse, did he think we could kiss and go right back to where we were last week?
Before he could say anything, I said, “I owe you an apology.”
He shook his head. “You’re good. You had a bad night. We all do.”
Why was he always so exactly pitch-perfect?
“Thank you, but it wasn’t just that night.”
“Right.” He gestured to the sofa. “May I?”
“Of course.” I sat on the love seat facing him.
“I’ve thought a lot about what you said, and the thing that keeps spinning in my head, the reason I’m here, is that maybe I didn’t get to know the real you.”
“Yeah.”
“And maybe you didn’t know the real me, either.” He breathed in. “I sort of wanted to jump straight to the happy-ever-after. It’s a thing my sister reminded me I tend to do.”
“You talked to your sister?”
“Yeah, Zoe. My uncles wanted me to barrage you with flowers and jewelry, but I remembered your scorn for apology flowers.”
I grimaced. “Send me flowers in good times, not as a peace offering. I’d much rather talk if things need saying.”
“This is why I listen to my sisters.”
“Bas.” I thought about the letter I’d written to him. I’d never sent it, but the words sat on the tip of my tongue. “I really do like you, but I need to apologize to you for starting our friendship in bad faith.”
His brows drew together, and I wanted to open a bottle of wine to get through this. “Truth serum?”
I laughed at the throwback to the night we met. “Yeah. I want to be totally honest with you.”
“Go on.” He settled back against the sofa like he was waiting for me to tell him a funny story instead of baring my soul.
“This isn’t easy.” I squared my shoulders. “I used you as a distraction at first.”
He laughed. “No kidding. I kind of took advantage of that fact. Your list worked both ways.”
One hurdle cleared. If only that were the worst of my sins. “Then you were so easy to hang out with, I thought maybe Icould pretend to be the person you seemed to be into. I was using you to practice on, and I didn’t even realize how far from solid ground I’d drifted until I came crashing down last week.” I swallowed. “I’m sorry if I just keep saying hurtful things, but I wanted to come clean and apologize.”
Bas rubbed his chin, sucking his teeth. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he got up and left. But as always, he surprised me.
“I owe you an apology, then. I think I saw you as a challenge, and I got a dopamine hit every time you capitulated. I really like you, too, but I was acting like this was a game. I never expected either of us would get hurt.”
“But we did.”
