Page 62 of Merciless Wager
I’d taunted Zarren by telling him I would lie under this Mikhail and scream his name, but the very thought of being in the same room with him and sharing the same air caused thepanic to form a knot inside my throat. As it slowly rose up, it became suffocating.
My life had no longer been my own since Zarren had entered it and taken it over. The life I'd once known was gone. I was in a brand-new and terrifying world, and I honestly didn't know how to exist in it without him. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t see another way out.
My limbs threatened to give out on me, and spying the piece of glass, I quickly grabbed it while still able. I turned it so that the sharpest side was now visible. A knock on my bedroom door sent terror racing through me.
I brought the jagged edge to one of my wrists, then at the sound of my name, I made a quick vertical slice across my wrist. Blood immediately bloomed at the surface, and the room began to spin once more. Taking the glass, I changed hands, then slit my other wrist.
As the blood began seeping from the cuts, I squeezed my eyelids closed for a few seconds before reopening them. The tears continued to pour from my eyes as the blood did from my veins. “Zarren,” I whispered as I staggered toward the shower. I didn’t make it even halfway there before my legs gave out on me, and I fell hard onto the tile beneath my knees.
I nearly groaned, but I needed to get up. I tried, but there was too much blood on the floor, and my hands kept slipping. At the thunderous sound of my name, I smiled as a sudden sense of peace fell over me.
Another few minutes of pain and it would be all over.
Another few minutes and I would finally be free.
As I rolled over onto my back, I was struck by the blinding light seconds before it exploded into hundreds of starbursts above me. A soft smile tipped my lips as my eyelids grew heavier. Finally, they closed and that hard-sought peace claimed me.
“Grazia,” I heard, and my body relaxed more.
“Who’s there?” I asked as I found myself back on my feet. Only, I still lay on the floor convulsing as blood continued to seep out onto the floor.
“Mia figlia Grazia,” I heard once more.
Looking around for the sound of the soft voice, I finally turned behind me at the door and at the light streaming from all sides of it. “Who is it?” I asked once more.
“It’s your mother, Grazia. Come to Mamma,” she said as the light grew even brighter.
I looked back down at my body in the exact moment that the door was flung open. It was nearly ripped from its hinges as Zarren rushed to my body, or what would now be my corpse. Turning to the front of me, I saw a woman in a white nightgown waving to me as she smiled. Her aura was so warm. Her smile was so welcoming.
“Bellezza,” Zarren cried out in anguish just as my mother spoke again.
“It’s time, Grazia.”
I wanted to tell her that my name was Aurora... Aurora Grace... Grace... Grazia... My entire life, I’d carried a piece of the real me and had never even known it. As if my mother knew what I was thinking, she let out a soft laugh.
“Yes, my darling girl. You’ve always been my Grazia. Come, we don’t have time to wait.”
I turned away from her and back at the man currently cradling me against his chest. “Don’t leave me, Bellezza,” Zarren crooned to me as he seemed almost paralyzed as to what to do with me.
“Grazia,” I heard once more. “Come with Mamma.”
A mother I’d never known but had secretly yearned for, or a man I’d loved so much... The decision should’ve been easy, but it wasn’t until I remembered what landed me in this spot.
“I won’t live without you, Bellezza,” he swore vehemently as he pulled me more tightly into his arms. I remembered other words he’d said, especially when it came to saving him. He’d wished I would’ve let him die before. As his life, at least according to his words, hung in the balance, I made the only decision I could.
Call it a sixth sense or something else altogether, but the initial joy I felt upon running up the stairs died the moment I reached the upper landing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was other than pure and utter silence. Even during those times when Aurora would be pissed off at me for one thing or another, I’d still hear her when she was inside her room. Usually, it was her cursing me to the moon and back, but it was at least something.
Now, there was nothing. When I coupled that with her demeanor in the shower, a frisson of something passed through me. Something was wrong, and it snapped me back to the present. I moved to her door, then knocked first.
The silence was so deafening that the rapping echoed. “Aurora,” I said carefully. “Bellezza,” I added. But still silence. The same chorus of nothingness.
Turning the knob, I opened the door, but I didn’t see her inside. She had a suitcase on top of the bed, and her others on the floor in front of the queen-sized bed. I walked to the closet, flinging the door open to find nothing inside, literally.
There were just a few solitary hangers lying on the floor. The clothes she’d had were now gone, and I could barely even detect her scent in the space anymore. If what just happened downstairs hadn’t happened, I might feel differently about it. As it stood, I could now imprint her anywhere and everywhere in this place.
I’ll never have to miss you again. You’re never leaving me in this lifetime.
Thinking that maybe she had left the room, I started toward the hallway, then turned suddenly and stared ahead at the bathroom door. My name floated out from beneath the door, but so softly as if she had whispered it.
